I received a quote from a contractor today with a $2500/day rate. He’s self employed. Assume he works 150 days/year. $375,000 per year. For “consulting” and “transitioning”. Did I mention that I’ve been “transitioning” for the last 6 years through reorganizations and restructuring and mergers? I think I can undercut him. $2250 is reasonable, don’t you think? I’m a bargain. (But not cheap. Really. It’s just an act. Yeh.)

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Last Tuesday, I got a call from a project manager who needed my “help” to get a couple of signatures so that she could cover her ass on a big mistake that had been made on one of her projects. She didn’t test (or have tested) a major piece of functionality on a new system that was implemented on July 1. That piece? Blew up.

When it blew? Four other pieces went to hell. In a handbasket.

The pleading and begging conversation started at 11:30 in the morning. By 9:00 p.m. I’d we’d gotten the appropriate signatures and were going to be okay. I asked the absolutely useless project manager to keep me informed (since I’d given up a major part of my evening to handle this for her). Never got a single update. Thursday morning, (Wednesday was a holiday), I sent her an email asking how it went.

Hotfessional: “So, I assume everything ran fine since I didn’t hear from anyone after I worked on this all day?”
Her response: “Oh, yea, thought you were on the email string.”

Guess what I’m working on now? The exact same BITCH project manager has another “issue” that requires my assistance. I’m still deciding on the murder weapon on how to use this as a learning opportunity. I know I’ll do it, since her incompetence shouldn’t hurt the clients, but oh, I’d so love to have the power to show her the freakin’ door. I only have enough power to tell her boss that she needs to be shown the freakin’ door. And unfortunately, she reports to my one grudge.

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We have 9 microwaves for this building. And a cafeteria. And vending machines all over the place. When I decide to stop buying my lunch because Lean Cuisines are all 1/2 price (and the good ones - that I used to eat when I was a teller a long, long time ago in a…never mind)? Yea, 5 of the microwaves die. Dead. Gone. And the remaining ones? Can’t do anything but full power. 100% nuclear. Now I have to be selective about which damn frozen lunch (but with less than 300 calories!) I grab out of the freezer in the morning just in case the microwaves here can’t handle it!

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I still have to do mid-year reviews. On 5 employees and myself. I have most of my own data gathered, but I really do check to make sure that my staff’s numbers (which they put in themselves) are correct, so I have to gather data on them as well. And, the sad part is, none of us expect to have a future here. So really, who gives a shit? This may be the first year I take them all at their word. [And if you're thinking that they overstate and I mark them lower? No, that's really rare. Usually I keep track better, and therefore, they're graded higher when I double-check].

And to make it worse, this year I have another 4 people “matrixed” to me. I get to give input to their reviews, too.

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Our spam filter seems to have broken on work email. So, now I’m getting emails with these subjects:

• Finance your cosmetic surgery. Get a FREE quote!
• We’re #1 OnlinePharmacy, Save up to 80% on your prescription drugs hayv
• Demande de confirmation d’inscription à EAN [note: In french!!!]
• re: Prosodie Interactive - “Your Outsourced IVR One Stop Shop”

And those are the fairly tame ones. They just take up room. Thankfully, the penis enlargement and “Have Sex All Night” items are still being caught. What I want to know is how these fuckers people broke through the heaven that was our spam blocker.

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On another note, this blog was rated:

Today at least.

I can only assume that it’s rated on the most recent post, because I’m sure it was an R last week when I checked. I bet the ‘fuckers’ in this one change my rating. It only found 2 asses and a bitch when it checked and gave out the PG-13. [Or, maybe it was looking into my living room this weekend during the 97-degree heat....Mr. Hot, Shortman and me!]

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—- Back to the mid-year reviews. That sound that you hear from the midwest is all of the motivation and drive being sucked out of me. Sounds kinda like your sink when it finishes draining. Ssssssssssssllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkk.—-