Jul 31 2007
But They Won’t Be Able To See My Belly-Button Ring
Excerpts from the “Business Casual Dress Guidelines” just received in my email [with editorial comments by the Hotfessional]:
WHAT TO WEAR
Appropriate Tops:
§ Business casual shirts / tops / blouses
§ Shells [over your nipples?]
§ Oxford / dress shirts
§ Polo-style shirts
§ Turtlenecks / mock turtlenecks
§ Shirts with collars
§ Crew neck sweaters
§ Cardigan sweaters / sweater sets [this is what I'm wearing today - and it's 92 outside - and 1/2 the building lost power - and is without air conditioning!]
§ Vests worn with a business casual top
§ Suite jackets / blazers / sport coats [Sweet! or Suit! or Whatever!]
Appropriate Bottoms:
§ Business casual pants / slacks / trousers
§ Linen pants
§ Khaki-style pants
§ Dockers [...as opposed to "business casual pants/slacks/trousers"? Huh?]
§ Capri pants
Appropriate Dresses / Skirts:
§ Business casual dresses / skirts
§ Tailored dresses / skirts
§ Linen dresses / skirts
§ Knee-length skirts (within business standards must strike the knee) [again? as opposed to 'business casual, etc, etc.? w.t.f.?]
Appropriate Footwear:
§ Business casual dress shoes / sandals / pumps
§ Sling-back shoes
§ Open back dress shoes / mules
§ Flats / loafers
§ Leather topsiders / docksiders
§ Dress boots [I'm sure my thigh-high stilettos fit the description!]
WHAT NOT TO WEAR
Inappropriate Tops:
§ Sweatshirts / t-shirts (long / short sleeved) (allowed on Friday)
§ Tank tops
§ Shirts with pictures or language (excl. a small logo) [so, my "Heartless Bitches International" membership t-shirt is out?]
§ Backless, low-cut, sheer, tight or revealing tops [and 1/2 of the rest of my wardrobe?]
§ Bare midriff (front or back) / crop tops
§ Untucked shirts (excluding those tailored to be worn outside of trousers)
§ Fabrics: Denim (any color), vinyl, fleece or spandex [Well, here at least I have to say "Thank you Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus"]
Inappropriate Bottoms:
§ Jeans (allowed on Friday or M-Th if wearing a Monthly Jeans badge) [more about that monthly jeans badge later!]
§ Stretch pants / leggings / stirrup pants [Again, hallelujah!]
§ Sweatpants / sweat suits
§ Shorts / walking shorts
§ Overalls / coveralls
§ Trousers worn below the waistline or revealing navels [As long as they don't go around lifting up shirts to see....how will they know? ]
§ Fabrics: Denim (any color), vinyl, fleece or spandex [And again....that spandex thing?]
§ City shorts [Now, this, I don't really understand. Have you looked at women's suits this season? Or can we override 'no City shorts' with 'business suites'?]
Inappropriate Dresses / Skirts:
§ Sun dresses
§ Backless, low-cut, sheer, tight or revealing dresses
§ Overall / coverall jumpers
§ Skirts / dresses that are too short (i.e. mini’s)
§ Fabrics: Denim (any color), vinyl, fleece or spandex [no vinyl? damn. There goes the perfect outfit for my meeting next week.]
Inappropriate Footwear:
§ Athletic / tennis shoes (allowed on Friday or M-Th if wearing a Monthly Jeans badge)
§ Athletic sandals (i.e. Tevas)
§ Hiking boots / outerwear shoes or boots
§ Flip Flops
§ Garden Shoes (i.e. Crocs)
I’ve commented about Casual Friday before, so I’m actually really glad that guidelines came out. But come on - if managers didn’t counsel employees on how they dressed before, what makes anyone think that it’s going to happen just because an email gets sent out?
Now, about that Monthly Jeans badge? If you pay $25 and wear a bright yellow badge - which must stay visible at all times, you can wear jeans for that month. Jeans and tennis shoes. The t-shirts are still verboten (except on Fridays), but $25 will buy you the privilege of wearing jeans every day! Now, the money does go to a good cause, but people - you’re the ones I hear outside my office bitching about the cost of gas, the cost of food in the cafeteria, the low wages and the rising unemployment stats in the state. I can’t wait to see how many people buy into this.
—- Mr. Hot, Shortman and I are out to see The Gin Blossoms tonight. I consider myself lucky that our 15-year-old will go to concerts with us. Of course, bribing him with Mexican food beforehand may have something to do with it —-
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I say you go ahead and wear the thigh high boots with a skirt of appropriate length and the twinset. The jeans badge is just funny. I’d wear it every day, but not the jeans. Just to keep ‘em guessing.
Thank you for leaving hot crumbs at my place, following your trail has just made my day.
My outfit: dark rinse jeans, slung below the navel, my sleeveless white tee covered the low rise, on my fee, stilettos sans hose.
I also have on a woven bracelet…my ass’d be canned, no?
Cupcake - I’m doing a count today to see how many ‘violations’ I can find. My guess? a whole bunch of flip flops (inappropriate footwear) and ‘too short’ dresses.
Now, the one thing I would like to add to the list? If you’re more than 20 lbs overweight? Please consider NOT wearing anything that is 2 sizes too small - even if it fits the definition of “appropriate”. I’m all about flattering - no matter what size you are.
Hi Amanda! So nice to hear from you - I’ve been stalking you recently.
Add a cardigan over that sleeveless tee (it has a banded neck and no logos, right?), make sure it’s pulled down over those abs of steel, and tack that badge on your lapel, and you’re good to go. My signature is actually my earrings that hit my shoulders…. I’m sure someone thinks they’re inappropriate.
so, my “Heartless Bitches International” membership t-shirt is out?
It may be out for the workplace (such a shame, eh?)… but I NEED to know where you bought such a shirt.
I must have one.
Meghan,
https://www.heartlessbitches.com/store/stuff2.shtml
I have the standard black t - and I got it ages ago, but it looks like there’s a bunch more now.
I’m a stranger. You don’t know me.
Okay - seriously? Trousers that are worn below your navel are not allowed? I would take great exception to that.
That would mean most everyone would need to go thrift shopping for some old stone-washed Guess! jeans… and… oh, come ON!
Let’s just agree that your shirt should meet your waistband and no one needs to ever know what sort of undergarments you’re wearing. Ever.
ARGH
The Jeans badge is interesting. I’m not sure I understand it’s purpose (I do wear jeans to the office quite a lot, though not when I’m seeing clients).
Les’s last blog post..Custom Jeans For $135?! Well, Sort of?