Back to work today.

This is the first of 6 pages of emails that greeted me.

And then of course, we have the multiple attachments that came with them. And faxes. And assorted other crap.

One gripe, and then I have to go. Answer emails. duh.

As a hotfessional, I have to get to approve a lot of system access to different applications for a bunch of idiots employees and contractors. On some systems, only one approval is necessary. On some, two. Then, of course, there’s the big mother-honker. That system that requires the approval of everyone up the ladder of command. Including the guy who will decide if I have a job next year - Mr. President & CEO.

Since this all comes back to me if someone is granted access to a system that they shouldn’t be able to hack into use, do you think I LOOK at these requests? I mean, really look? You bet your sweet, sexy ass I do. If Mr. P&CEO is going to see my name on the freakin’ form, it better be right.

So, knowing this? And knowing that I can take you down with a glare, sucka and make your day-to-day existence miserable, don’t you think that maybe, just maybe you’d double check, oh say, the spelling of my name? Or my boss’s phone number? Or the damn cost center your access is going to be charged to? When this information is all readily available - with just a simple touch of your fat little fingers on your keyboard?

Or would you? With the intelligence God gave my stuffed March of Dimes giraffe, decide to send me 17 forms to approve, while I’m on vacation, (therefore I know that you have at least 5 days to make sure the forms are right, because no-fucking-way I’m approving them without actually seeing what’s on the attachment with my own 4 eyes) and not check any of this information?

Yes, that’s right. 17 forms. All with incorrect basic information. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this person has made this little error.

—- Floppy and Girard know better than to cross me on a first-day-back-after-a-week-of-vacation Monday. Too bad the requestor-formerly-employed-as-a-well-paid-contractor doesn’t. —-

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