Helen tagged me. For the 8 Random Facts meme. I think it’s only because she thinks I cheated on the 100 Things that I posted, but okay. I love a challenge. And, one of these days I’ll make it to her neck of the woods and hunt her cute little ass down.

1. The first day I lived in West by Gawd Virginia, my phone rang. I had gotten married two days before. The voice on the other end said “You don’t know me….but I work with your husband.” Of course, I immediately thought, “I’ve only been married 2 days and the fuck is having an affair?” He wasn’t. She wanted to take us to lunch to celebrate our wedding.

She became (and still is) a very good friend. We made wine together for years. We named it “Glory” - a combination of our two names. I drank the last bottle I had after Shortman was born (and a different husband). We lost touch for a very long time and recently reconnected.

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2. I never would have thought that I would love to blog this much. It’s healing. It’s heartening. I can share my drunken thoughts and my ranting raves. I believe I could be really good friends with many, many of you. I hope that if you’re ever passing through southeastern Michigan, you’ll let me know so that I can offer you a place to rest and a glass of wine. By the way, summer is much, much better than winter. Fall and/or Spring are iffy, at best. (Okay, Helen, that one probably was a cheat, but I wrote that from the Admiral’s club at O’Horror. After my third glass of Pinot Grigio. I was feeling sappy. But, y’all are still invited, really!)

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3. I can get drunk off of wine (see #1 above) much faster than beer or liquor. Except maybe Tequila. I drink tequila once/year. On my birthday. And as long as I don’t have to walk or talk afterwards. I have a scar down my back because of tequila and a fight with a wicker laundry hamper. I got up at 2 a.m. because I was so fucking dehydrated I couldn’t swallow my own spit. I got light headed and fell, ass first, into the hamper in the hallway. A piece of wicker went right into my back.

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4. I also have a scar from exploding lightbulbs in my bathroom. When we bought this house, the previous owners had just completed a renovation of the upstairs bath. I don’t think it had ever been used. I like hot showers. Unfortunately, during the renovation, they didn’t put in a vent. The light bulbs above the vanity? Were 60 watt lightbulbs. The steam and 60-watt bulbs? Not a good mix. Once morning, I bent over to wrap my head in a towel and one exploded. The hot glass landed on the back of my neck. I have a burn scar about the size of a large paperclip.

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5. When I was 42, and playing soccer, a woman from the opposing team asked me how old I was. When I told her, she said, “But you’re the buffest one on this field.” I had to laugh. Two years before I was heavier than I had been at 9-months pregnant and couldn’t run a lap around the high school track. I started training with weights, kickboxing and running - and for an entire two months I was in the best shape of my life. (Yes, for about two months I was happy with my body - it was heaven. Then I had to go on another round of travelling for work and got lazy.) Now, I’m starting back again.

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6. I was invited to attend the contract signing between my company and our offshoring partners in Amsterdam in August 2005. I stayed in a hotel that had been created from a row of canal houses. My room was in a house that was built in 1620. I flew by myself to Schipol airport on Sunday evening, arrived Monday morning, and walked for hours admiring this beautiful city. I saw the Anne Frank House, The Royal Palace, and the Rijksmuseum that day. I took a three hour nap and then walked some more. A year later, I was back in Holland, but on the North Sea for a Leadership conference. We were in a castle in the National Forest. These two trips will always hold very special memories for me.

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7. I was in 4th grade and we went on a field trip to one of the Metroparks in southeastern Michigan. I don’t remember which one, but I remember I was wearing a pair of red hip-hugger bell bottoms with a fake cuff and a red, white and blue checked body shirt. (Hey, it was 1972!) I was running along a path next to this boy (who I ran into many, many years later, after I had moved and had a hot makeout session in the roller rink…hee). He swerved a bit and I moved over so we didn’t bump into each other. My foot went down a slope, and next thing I knew, I was head over ass rolling down a hill into the river. Got that? Into.The.River. I had no other clothes, so one of the mothers had to drive me into town and find a laundromat. She went in and dried everything while I sat in her car wrapped in a blanket. One of the most embarrassing moments of my elementary school years.

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8. When I was at Michigan State, I worked in my dorm cafeteria during the breakfast shift. I started at 7:00 a.m. My first class was at 8:50 on the other side of campus. Five miles away. I would work for 90 minutes, then run back to my room, grab my stuff, jump on my bike and head to class. At MSU, the bike paths have yellow lines dividing them (like a 2-lane road), and when you come to a street crossing, there are rumble strips to slow you down before you go into the street. One day, I was going back to the dorm, and another bike came into my lane and hit me head on. I ended up in the Intramural Soccer field, glasses bent, books all over the place, and bike in desperate need of repair. I limped home, dragging the sad carcass of my bike behind me.

The next day, I had that class again. I begged my boyfriend to let me borrow his bike. He was hesitant. That bike was his pride and joy. I finished my shift in the cafeteria, headed off to class, and realized that Boyfriend must ride his bike in first gear. I was pedaling like mad, but getting nowhere. I changed gears. Something locked up and I flew right the freak up and over the handlebars. Landed on my back in the middle of the sidewalk. I saw the derailleur shoved into the spokes of Boyfriend’s pride and joy back tire. I hoisted the fuckin’ bike on my shoulder - walked back to the dorm - ran into his roommate who said to me, “He’s going to break up with you over this one” - and went to bed for the rest of the day. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised that my nickname that year ended up being “Crash”.

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—- And so, in return, I’m tagging: Cupcake, Mad Mad Housewife, Jen on the Edge, Kristabella and whoever else wants to play. If you decide to participate, let me know in my comments. Over to you all now. Down to the basement for me to remedy #5 again. —-

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