Oct 25 2007
The Snot is Rising
You’re saying, “Ewwwwwww, Hotfessional, TMI, seriously, dude”. Well, blame Mr. Hot - I tried to get out of town without the germs attacking, but apparently, as usual, I was late.
Now, though, I’m thinking I’ll have to search for a new book to read between naps this weekend since apparently that’s all he did while I was in Chicago. Shoot me for not getting my wireless router set up last week so I could read blogs in bed.
Speaking of Mr. Hot. He provides me with blog fodder on a semi-regular basis. I’ve mentioned him here, and here, and here. He’s a wonderful husband and a terrific father. He’s the only reason I’ve been able to do things like this. Buuuuuttttt. (C’mon, you knew there’d be a but, didn’t you? Since when is there not a but when you’re talking about your spouse? )
Anyway, BUT….
He.Quizzes.Me! Like.A.Freakin’.Fifth.Grade.Teacher.
You’re shaking your head. I see you! You’re saying, “But Hotfessional, the man puts up with your shit. He understands when you go to the city and have dinner and copious amounts of wine with men. He doesn’t complain about bright yellow bras and purses.” (Well, not the bras anyway.)
Yes. True. Every word of what you say. The man is amazing.
Except. He. quizzes. me.
About sports figures.
Now, I love sports. I think it’s well documented. Football, Basketball, Baseball. Yes, yes, and yes. Hockey? Meh - just the original six. Actually, just Toronto. And they suck.
However! Do I care where so-and-so went to college? Or high school? Or where their aunt’s second-cousin’s brother’s best-friend’s dog was born? Not too much.
Mr. Hot: “Where did Plaxico Burress go to school?”
The Hotfessional: “Um. Michigan State?”
Mr. Hot: “Yes!”
Mr. Hot: “Which Piston went to Jackson State?”
The Hotfessional: “I didn’t know there was a Jackson State.”
Mr. Hot: “……..” (looking at me, expectantly)
The Hotfessional: “Hell, I don’t know. Jason Maxiell?”
Mr. Hot: “No, think older.”
The Hotfessional: “Um, Nazr Mohammed?”
Mr. Hot: “No, he was with the Pistons before; they traded him; then he came back.”
The Hotfessional: “Holy hell. Lindsey Hunter.”
Mr. Hot: “Yes!”
(Do I start to feel like a 5th grader at this point? Yes!)
Mr. Hot: “Didn’t Jevon Kearse go to Michigan State?”
The Hotfessional: “I don’t think so.”
Mr. Hot: “I think he did.” (Leaves room to go Google it)
——- 3 minutes later ——-
The Hotfessional: “Did he?”
Mr. Hot: “No, he went to Florida.”
——- 3 weeks later ——-
Mr. Hot: “Where did Jevon Kearse go to school?”
The Hotfessional: “U of M?” (Why, why do I let myself get suckered into playing this? Oh yea, I love the man.)
Mr. Hot: “No! Florida. Remember? I thought he went to State.”
Sigh.
So, when he said “The Lions could have picked up Jammer in the draft and passed on him” while we were watching some game a couple of weeks ago and I came back with “Quentin Jammer?” - the look of complete and utter pride on his face? The look that said “Damn. I raised this woman right”! Made all of the failed quiz grades I’ve received absolutely worth it?
Yep.
Oh yes.
—- So tomorrow begins another 48 hours of “Does The Hotfessional Know?” I better go study.—-
HOT LOVE
Oh. No. He. Doesn’t.
Mr. Hot sounds like my doppelganger in male form. [Hangs head in shame.]
I actually would be OK with that. Sometimes.
I wanted the Niners to draft Quentin Jammer when I worked there. Just so I could walk around ALL day singing “He’s a bad mammer Jammer.”
Oh, and don’t think I didn’t do that ALL. DAY. LONG on draft day.
Mr. Hot gets the Dongel Award!
haHa!
and yes, the wireless router is a must. a MUST I tell you. Just be sure you can also charge your computer from bed.
You are a much better woman than I am. Whenever Pete yammers on about roller coasters, my eyes glaze over and all I hear is “Apollo’s Chariot is blah blah blah, bored Jen…” I wouldn’t survive 15 minutes with Mr. Hotfessional.
Just came across your blog and wanted to let you know about a free giveaway I’m hosting - come check it out! Thank you! Have a great weekend!
You’re like me. Only apparently I have an abnormal amount of football shit stored in my brain. Someone gave son #1 a whole bunch of sports cards- Baseball, Football and Basketball and we were going through them to see if there were any valuables in there. I started on the baseball box, but had to keep asking Steve about people so I said give me the effin football box. And I made a pile. And I didn’t have to ask Steve about one single player (these were old cards from the 70’s and early 80’s. And I wish you could have seen the look on Steve’s face when he saw some of the cards in there. He kept going “You know who THIS is?” lol. A couple of times he said a card was worthless and I said “Look it up” and I was right. Mostly because my parents were season ticket holders for the New Orleans Saints and those were players I had watched growing up. If they played for New Orleans, Houston, or Dallas I knew who they were. lol.
Oh. Mah. Gah!! Were our husbands separated at birth???
Methinks yes.
I used to be the only male in the United States that asked on Super Bowl Sunday - ‘uhm, what teams are playing?’.
Now I’m the only male in Australia that can’t name a single cricket team.
Bossy - if he asks today, I’m going to cough all over his sorry ass.
l sass - oh mah gawd.
Kristabella - sometimes, yes. Especially when I snag one that he doesn’t think I’ll get. “He’s a bad mammah jammah”. Hee!
Nancy - snort!
Dawn - the sad thing is that I’ve got it, I just don’t have it all set up yet. And it won’t happen this weekend.
Jen - roller coasters? really? Yikes. As long as your eyes glaze in his general direction, I bet it works. how would I know this? Experience. (generally I glaze at politics)
Helen - I watched Morten Andersen kick at Mich. State back in 81. Damn. The dude is still kicking. He’s three years older than me!
Mouse - I’ll send you some of my cheat sheets.
Mike - Hi! I don’t get quizzed on cricket but soccer? yep. Add that to the mix. Nice to meet you!
My husband does that too, about everything. He’ll tilt his head to the side, mid-conversation, and say: “And what movie did I just quote?” Or: “And who invented the cotton gin?” Or: “And how tall would a garden gnome be if it were real?” WTF???
See, my response to every one of those questions would have been, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Did you ever see DINER? Your man would make that character seem like a amateur. See, I would just start quizzing in return;
“how many cups of laundry detergent do you need to do two loads of laundry?”
That would end it…. fast.
hmm, I would have asked him if he knew I was gonna kick his butt, LOL!