Dec 21 2007
Silent Day (at the Office)
Hello? Hello???? Oh Mah Holy Hell y’all. There’s 4 people here today. It’s so freakin’ quiet. I can actually hear myself think. You may think this is a good thing. Not so much. Because my thoughts? They don’t stay focused or coherent when there’s not “Fuck!!!!” or “Shit! What do I do now?” or “Danger, Will Robinson, danger!” being screamed outside my office. So, unfortunately lucky for you, you get randomocity.
First, though, go read Bossy today. I love Bossy. I love her dog. I love her kids and her humor and her sarcasm. I love her hair that hasn’t been cut for 283 days. I’ll wait here until you get back. (Well, I hope you come back, because if you get lost in Bossy’s archives, I can’t help you. You will drown in the humor.)
Thank you all so much for the comments on yesterday’s question. I loved reading them - and I agree with Ali - obviously we are all way too intelligent to fall for the latest piece of “must have” bling. Jewelry is a lovely gift, if it’s personal and given with love. I’m personally hoping for a spa certificate and a Farouk flat iron. Breakfast in bed is always welcome, too.
Here’s a picture that shows some of the snow in my perennial bed:
It’s supposed to be 45 and rainy tomorrow. Maybe the worst of our winter is over? Snirk. Right. And there’s going to be two tickets to Tahiti in my stocking so Mr. Hot and I can go lay on the beach and drink rum and get away from teenage boy stank.
Speaking of teenage boy - Shortman is competing in the Business Professional’s Association regional tournament on January 4th. To add insult (getting up for a 6:45 am bus trip to a freakin’ school? on the last day of Christmas vacation?) to injury (being at said school until 6:45 that night?) he has to wear a suit. And a tie. And non-athletic type shoes.
The last time Shortman wore a suit? Was. Never. He’s never been in a wedding. (Last wedding attended? Mr. Hot’s brother’s. Shortman was 2.) The last time he was at a funeral he was 4 (Thank Gawd, but y’know….no suit). He wears khaki or gray cargo pants every day once it hits 40 degrees (shorts if it’s 41 or higher). He hates jeans. (With a blinding hatred for denim touching his skin.) Silly me, I thought this would not be an issue since I didn’t have a daughter.
There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Kohl’s the day after Christmas. (Do not ask which one will be doing the wailing, which the gnashing. It’s likely to be both of us). There will also be pictures to document that Shortman’s first time in a suit is NOT at his own wedding.
Tonight is grocery shopping night. Tonight is the night I buy my staff presents. I wrap them up and on Monday I’ll deposit them on desks to wait for the recipient’s return. Why do I wait until the last minute to do this? Why don’t I give them out before people leave for the week? Because if I do, they undoubtedly feel like they have to reciprocate. And people don’t know what to buy the boss. And I don’t want to put them under that pressure. (Surely, just working for the bright and shiny-star that I am is pressure enough you say? Why yes it is!)
And I am seriously out of topics for today. So I leave you with a picture of my youngster when he was 9. And believed in haircuts.
—- Yes, he did decide to grow out his hair to cover his ears. Snort. Christmas 2000. —-
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Even when you’re covering random topics, you are quite funny.
I cannot wait to see the photo of Short in his new suit. Should be quite dashing!
It’s at 10 that they develop haircut angst? That explains why my boy is fighting the hairy fight now, then. It.drives.me.crazy.
You are such a considerate boss. I know you talk tough, but I sense a softer side…I’m feeling all fuzzy now
And like jenontheedge, I am also anxiously awaiting tales of the suit
Heidi
Did he grow into those ears? Lol
My 15 year old has been in two weddings, and wore a tux both times. Undoubtedly, my favorite pictures of him.
Now…I got an unexpected bottle of champagne from my new boss of three months this morning. Unexpected because A) I’m new and B) he’s Jewish. I did not get him anything. Should I have? I’m all verklempt now.
Hot - love the new look at the top and the newest comment re: flowers,chocolate and vodka. Thanks for sharing Bossy - very funny stuff there!! Sucks re: the suit - maybe you will get lucky and you will have a secret shopper for the day?! Yeah, here’s to wishful thinking! happy holidays.
Why can’t we have you as a boss
It’s rare to have a boss like that. I had a boss who made it clear to the staff that if she didn’t get a good gift, bad reviews were more than likely come review time. Last year, I drew the short straw and I was her admin. While her gifts were perfect, I assisted her fiance with her surprise proposal, etc. I STILL got a bad review. GRRRR… Currently my bosses are pretty good - except when they lop off the heads every so often. If you choose to go to a career in law, let us know 
Good luck with Shortman! Remember, breathe, relax and the relief (wine) is at home. Because I think you and Mr. Hot might need some after that shopping excursion.
REE! HOW BIG IS THAT BOY?!?! If he’s 8 or 9 in that picture, how is it that he already looks 5 feet tall!??
snicker. we had alex’s hair wet in the tub one night so it was all slicked and I could actually see his ears and I was like OMG!!!! Scout could only sigh and say that clearly Alex got his ears.
My boss is a guy. A dorky IT guy. I don’t even think it’s dawned on him that he should give his workers anything at all, and I’m actually very, very glad. Like you said, I so don’t need that pressure.
We will be having the quiet office day on Monday. Hardly anyone there and coffee all round, well an alcoholic beverage that LOOKS like coffee *snort*
Bizarre that you chose to post that picture of Shortman today. Boo (who is 9) had a hair cut today. A short haircut cause it is so freaking hot here (well not today… but that is another story) and his first in months. Could clothe a small African country with the amount of hair cut off!
You are the bestest boss ever! Love this post.