My Life as a Hotfessional

— That I’ll probably be losing my job at the same time my stepson is coming to live with us, rent-free, to save money for grad school?

— That two or three times a week, I get these little flashy light objects on the periphery of my vision, usually on my right, but sometimes on my left and that they don’t go away for hours? (And no, I don’t have migraines, and yes, I probably spend 12 hours every day staring at a computer screen.)

— That clicking on something yesterday when Lyvvie invited me to be her friend on Facebook automatically sent emails to 31 people in my address book that also have Facebook pages and now the emails are flooding in from there too? (Add another 2 hours per day on the computer?)

— That the snow that is supposed to start at midnight tonight and end at 7 pm tomorrow is going to bring 10-12 inches of suck-ass snow to Ann Arbor and that we’re supposed to be at a basketball game tonight and a hockey game tomorrow night?

— That we’re only 31 days into Blog365 and….aw fuck. We’re only 31 days into Blog365.

— That there were 5 views on January 28th that came from googling dooce ree sucks and I have nothing against Dooce?

— That also on the 28th, two views were from “lost my virginity” babysitting father.  Is it a teenage right of passage that girls lose their virginity while babysitting? (Sorry moms with young ones. You’ll never get another babysitter after your neighbors read that line.)

— That I have a book to finish and get in the mail for SDBBE  and I’m only about 40 pages into it?

….. Or should I just start drinking immediately?

—- I have got to get back to actually, y’know, writing, soon.  I don’t think I’ll be chained to my desk writing process documents next week.  —-

But not before a reminder! The Travhell Contest ends on February 3rd.

You’ve all asked for links to the stories. These are the links we’ve received as of 11 a.m. today

Candy and Bill’s Excellent Adventure in the Catskills

Deep Muck, Big Rake entered 2 stories (she wants us to feel twice as sorry for her)
— Nightmare in Norway
— A Day Late…

Bringing Home Beck finally made it

Mrs. Fancy Pants flies through Germany

Midwest Girl at Heart lays over in Phoenix

SchizoFrenetic goes down under

Vanessa moves

Playful Professional deals with Denver

Superpaige uses her time wisely and nearly goes insane

Writing in Wax studies abroad

Now, only Laurel, Sonia and I get to vote, but you, my friends, get to laugh, cry and/or cringe at these stories along with us. And if you haven’t yet entered, click here for the details.

—- If somehow, I’ve missed your story, accept my apologies and re-send your email to travhellcontest@gmail.com. Keeping up with blogolutions has made me a bit crazy this week. —-

Y’know, like Hot-Crossed Buns? Yes, I know Wiki says it’s “hot cross buns”. Shush. I remember hearing my mother read the song from my Mother Goose book. She said Hot Crossed Buns. So, Crossed it is.

Anyway, we’re not talking about buns (today anyway). We’re talking about crafts. These are the ones that my friends have asked me to tell you about.

Marvellous Mouse Designs

Mouse has such cute stuff - plus, she’s a sweetheart to boot! Totes and aprons in retro fabrics that are to die for. You can purchase through her Etsy Shop or on eBay. Here’s a preview:

Wave - a sneak peek of one of the designs from her Spring / Summer Collections due to be launched in March 2008. Those are Swarovski crystals on there!

and:

Hearts Afire tote. I love this fabric!

Esprit * d’Art

Sherry makes breathtaking cards and art collages.

I “met” Sherry when I was promoting the “Save-the-Boobies” campaign last October. I love her sites “Sage and Thyme” and “ABreast in the World“, but I never knew that in addition to painting pictures with words, she makes beautiful pictures with paper.

Visit Sherry’s Etsy Shop - your special Valentine will be yours forever (at least I would).

D. Celestine Limited

Diana Celestine makes gorgeous jewelry. Earrings, bracelets, necklaces. Her necklaces make me wish that I could actually stand to wear things around my neck.




See what I mean?

You can shop right from her site.

She also knits at The Chic Life. If you’re a knitter or a crocheter, go check out the photos of projects and yummy yarn!

Erin - Out of Character

I’ve heard of Sock Zombies. And when I went and looked at them? I want one. I’m putting it on my birthday list. I mean, how cute is this guy:

Slightly sick, and yet, oh so cuddly. Another Etsy Shop seller… I want the Butterfly Double Decker one.

Dropstitch Knitter

Although this working mom doesn’t sell her knit products, she’s an amazing knitter and photographer. She does, however, sell her handcrafted pins and stitch markers. It almost makes me want to add knitting to my ever-growing stack of projects, books, post ideas, sporting events…

She sells under Scotts Mountain Crafts

The Basement Boutique

This Etsy Shop has adorable items for children.




Plum Full of Goodness (Cute names for the products, too!)

Crazy Aunt Purl

In her own words: “True life diary of a 30-somehting, newly divorced, displaced Southern obsessive-compulsive knitter who has four cats.” She’s also an author - and the book looks hilarious. Go look!!! Explore!

Custom Gifts by Talina

Gift Baskets, Fudge and Craft Kits, oh my! Check out this cell phone holder:


Check out her Message In A Bottle for another romantic Valentine’s Day idea.

Tampon Crafts

Yes, that’s what I said. Just go look, because y’know, sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously. The pan flute? Made me spit out my vodka. And you know that’s not an easy thing to do. Well, I spit out coffee and water regularly, but my vodka???? No way.

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Thanks to the contributors: Lys, Candy, MadMad, Amanda, Liz, and Kelley. (Betcha can’t guess which one Kelley contributed.)

Remember, next month we’ll hotlight your favorite photography sites. Get them to me.

And y’all? Here’s the small print:

THOSE PHOTOS ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE SITE OWNER. I SNATCHED THEM OFF OF THEIR SITES FOR THEIR BENEFIT. IF THEY DON’T WANT ME TO DISPLAY THEM, I WILL TAKE THEM DOWN. DO NOT STEAL THE IMAGES WITHOUT PROPERLY CREDITING THE SITE OWNER. Thanks!

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Remember New Year’s Day? I made a couple of Blogolutions. Things that are just for you! First, a monthly updated Blogroll with links to the month’s new commenters. (See, lurkers!?! If you comment, you too will be added to the ever-growing Linked List of Lust.)

So, today is Blogroll update day! I’ve had so much fun going through all of these sites -

Hill Smith Family Updates Another Gramma’s Girl/Chicken Killer
Sarah O. Lemon Life Also does Mamarazzi
Chocolate, the Other White Meat Homeschooler to 3 loving pink argyle
Days Go By Another freezing cold Taurus - even further north
Mommy Needs Five Minutes “Nothing in Life is About Me”
Deutlich - Speak on It Check out the 1943 post
Forever Amber Watergate - Not just for the U.S.
Heels Crumpled Blogging in Pink since 2003!
Whiskey In My Sippy Cup You must read her “About Me”
V Dog and Little Man 1 Mom + 1 Cute Little Boy
Harvest of Daily Life Also makes Talina’s Custom Crafts.
Marlee’s Rant But my therapist says I STILL GET TO COMPLAIN!
Pink Neck Girl A town girl relocated
Solomon You’ll realize you’re grateful too!
A Little Space for Me I love the haiku ladies
Musings At WindyRidge Knitting from her own sheep!
About My Crazy Life Nursing student banned from playing golf
Not Perfect 25-year-old self-proclaimed princess
MiKael’s Mania Arabian Horse breeder - my favorite animal
Mary-Minnesota Matron A Feminist marries a Prince and has Children
Dizzy Miz Lizzy Jewelry and Chocolate in Central Illinois
Correr es mi Destino World traveler settled down in Canada (for the time being)
Katie Hates Her Hair New in 2008 !
Phil Dodd I like him even if he is a WMU Bronco
Sangria Lover Sangria Lover AND Ben’s mom - how cool is that?
SchizoFrenetic Frenetic? Maybe, but she’ll still make you think

Don’t forget, if you’re not on my blogroll and want to be, put it in my comments or email me. I’ll get you on the list for February’s updates.

Tomorrow will be the Hotlight “Hot Crossed Crafts” Post! The first one ever.

On Wednesday, look for a list of the participants (so far) in the TravHell Contest. There’s still time to enter.

—- I also have a special post for Friday - the day I change my header. Stay tuned! —-

Sniff. Did you miss me? I broke Hotfessional.com. Well, I didn’t. It broke. Because of a really strange month of posting and hits that used up my bandwidth. It was a new high in views of this site, and I never thought I’d run out of freakin’ bandwidth. I mean, who am I? Bossy? Kristabella? Kelley? PsychicGeek? (she ran out, too) Puh-leeze.

But look! I’m back! You’re not imagining it - no matter how much you’ve been drinking. My hosting service (lick him!) gave me more bandwidth. He’s the greatest. Inexpensive, sure, which is good, because, notice —> no ads. Which means I pay for the damn thing my own damn self. But with all of the posts I’ve written and read lately about crappy customer service, this guy responds! He had PsychicGeek and Hotfessional back up and running - on a Sunday night - within a couple of hours. Got that? Sunday night.

Scorp Web Solutions. Remember that name. Send him good karma. If my tubes weren’t tied, I’d offer to have his children. Instead, I’m telling you all what a great guy he is. (Which helps, because, y’know, I would have to explain to Mr. Hot.)

So, before my whole heart attack thing there, I was going to post pictures from our walk today. So, here they are.

When I talk about dull and dreary Michigan in the winter? Suck ass snow and slush and wind? This is what I’m talking about:









There’s a huge pond out there past the platform.






“Mom. I think I pooped here last spring!”

Dawn came up with this Showin’ Off Saturday last year at the end of December, and fog-headed brilliant as I am, I’ve been forgetting waiting for someone to come up with an idea that I can show off.



So when presented with this last week, I decided that this was going to be the day that I actually participated. Y’know, because I’m brilliant. Dawn reminded me.I don’t normally wear sweatpants. I may come home and throw on yoga pants or pajama bottoms, but out in public? I’m more of a jeans kinda girl. Either Shortman’s that have been outgrown, or my new favorites.

At work? It’s pants and a turtleneck sweater in the fall and winter, a long-sleeved tee or short-sleeved sweater in the spring (under a blazer or cardigan), and in the heat of summer? A short sleeved t-shirt, or a sleeveless sweater under a linen jacket or a light sweater for chilly offices and conference rooms.

I’m not very creative with clothing. I wear what is comfortable so I can move around and easy to clean because I’m damn clumsy. So, here you go. My normal wardrobe - and a chance to see that I do have arms, and legs.



Complete with Blackberry

One of the few times you’ll see me with a necklace on. Doesn’t it look like I’ve been twisting it? Now, the hot pink raincoat? I love it. Even though all of the buttons are falling off and it’s a bitch to sew them back.

These days, I don’t meet with clients. If I’m with anyone else at all, it’s either my team (in a building that tries to stay business casual and fails miserably) or other managers - who do understand business casual. So my dressy tees, blazers and pants are just fine.

What I’d really like to do, though, is get back to a more formal working environment. I know there are those of you out there who shudder at that thought. But really, I like to wear suits at times. This one would be wonderful.

—- Now, that suit? Red pumps? That will make a woman feel powerful in a room full of men. Too bad the only one I can find online is 4 sizes wrong. —-

I slept the sleep of the dead last night. Between the time I crawled between the covers (10:17 or so - my flight actually landed early!) and the time Mr. Hot started shaking me awake this morning (he hears my alarm way before I do), I don’t think I moved. That’s what day trips do to me. (I’m sure the Chardonnay and carbohydrates I inhaled had nothing to do with it.)

So, how about a quick update so I can meet my 341DaysLeft obligations in case I don’t get the opportunity to write anything later tonight.

In bullet form, of course.

• Mr. Hot spoke with 24 on Monday. Real, live, and in person. He definitely wants to come stay with us. He’ll probably come up at least once before May to talk to the people at the store here, and figure out what he’s going to need. Am I still worried? Duh. I have 18 years of experience dealing with this father/son relationship - but there are baby steps happening - and that, in and of itself, is pretty darn miraculous.
• Shortman finished up this semester of classes. Oh Mah Holy Hell thank you. Another reason this was a suck-ass week. (Helen….that was for you) This kid is Procrastination Central - and since it bothers me far more than ::cough:: anyone else in the family ::cough:: - I’m the one who ends up begging and pleading and helping. I swear y’all, when Finals are over, I feel like I’m the one that was taking them. He starts his new classes on Monday, so this is like a teensy tiny little mini summer vacation. Next semester? I relive High School Chemistry. Shit.
• Sears? Not happening. Duct tape will suffice.
• I worked out 5 times! My goal is 5 times/week. I do “The Firm” videos. I hate treadmill work. I don’t have an elliptical machine, so I get cardio through aerobics and weight lifting at the same time.
• Dell is sending a technician to our house(!) to replace the motherboard and the video card. To our house, y’all. On Monday. Woo hoo. (Well, we’ll see - or maybe I’ll have pictures of the Dell Tech making me get my boots dirty?)
• The Contest? Is up. The link is on the sidebar. I’m not copying it again.
• You have your assignments. You also need to go check out the only woman I know who uses the eff-word more often creatively than me. And throw her some votes for the Blogger’s Choice Awards.
• Bloglines says I have 657 unread posts in my reader. Got that? Six-hundred-and-fifty-freakin’-seven. And I joined Goodreads. I am reviewing the craft sites so I can do the first Hotlight next week. And I’m going to be updating my blogroll. Good thing I died last night, because I’m going to have to stay awake the whole weekend to take care of my to-do list.

—- And Susan is home. And blogging. That, if nothing else, is reason to cheer. —-