Mar 03 2008
Building Your Wings
Moms. How many women have moaned, “I’m becoming my mother.” How many have laughed about looking in the mirror and seeing “Mom staring back at me.” They mold us with their attitudes; their behaviors determine whether we’re comfortable with ourselves.
My mother and I have always had an interesting relationship. I’m her first born. I’m far more independent than she would probably like - certainly more independent than my brother and sister. I always felt that my brother was her favorite child; my sister gave birth to her favorite grandchild. But, I know, beyond a doubt, that I can always count on my mother. I’ll always be able to go home.
What happens, though, when your mother is “an abusive, crazy, lazy, paranoid hypochondriac”? When she’s not someone you can count on? When she stands by and watches as you go through depression at the tender age of eight. Eight, when your greatest fear should be whether or not your best friend Mandy will be able to spend the night on Friday so you can do each other’s hair and play The Dating Game.
You may find yourself in a position where you can either live in peace or live in darkness; live a full life or a half life; you can be a loving wife and mother, or you can become something that you hate.
And at that point, you must make a Leap of Faith.
My Perfect Post award for February goes to Mr. Lady at Whiskey In My Sippy Cup. She had to make her own Leap of Faith this month.
Because she leaped. Next, she’ll fly. I’m so proud of her.
“We must walk consciously only part way through our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.” - Henry David Thoreau
Thanks to Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil and Kimberly at Petroville for creating the Perfect Post awards. This marks their 2nd anniversary - two years of helping us recognize the posts that make us laugh and cry. Congratulations Lindsay and Kimberly.—- Now go see the rest of the winners. —-
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I very often catch myself turning into a mixture of my dad and my mom. Then I decided to do thing neither of them would even consider doing, and I realise that actually I’m not that much like them at all. Thankfully.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Sunday 2 March
That post was truly deserving of a perfect post babe. Although my mother is a dysfunctional, selfish pain in the rectum but man, I am speechless….
But I don’t see my mother in the mirror. I see my Nanna. And I am so proud cause my Nanna rocked!
Kelley’s last blog post..Childs Play.
Most of us are frightened of turning into our parents, no matter how good the relationship.
We can do better with our choices, but some things are genetically hard wired. Some things you have to acknowledge that you are your mother’s daughter.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Contest within a Contest
I need to go read that post. Love Leap of Faith stories.
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..Cooking with Sistah Honey Bunch and her kid.
I’m all freaking misty eyed over here. Thanks, honey.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Stuff
I went over and read her post. That is one of the most moving posts I’ve read, and the most gutsy. It deserves the award.
Her strength and resilience are staggering. Thank you for sharing that.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..Rope tricks (or, I’ve been tagged)
Eeeep, I’ve wondered the same thing.
I remain in awe of you. You totally rock!
And thanks for the kind words about the beginner’s blog design I’m trying to figure out!
SarahO’s last blog post..OH DEAR. THIS ISN’T WHAT I ORDERED.
I’ve always believed in being what you want to be. At times despite the influence of your parents.
I have always been a believer in; decide what you want to be and then become that.
At times in life I have had to just pretend to be ‘it’ because it wasn’t really working out for me. But at least I can say I’ve tried and I have become.
My family are all nuts as most families are. And this nut, I think, didn’t fall far from the family tree.
Ah well
warriorwoman’s last blog post..Good riddance
I realized a few years ago that I had become my mother. I was distraught for quite a while. Then I realized that my mom is a strong, smart, accomplished woman. I guess becoming my mother is about the least bad thing that could have happened. I don’t use all her same parenting tactics, but she did the best she could and I know that. She has overcome so many obstacles in her life, it’s amazing she’s only a little loony. My mom and I bonded for the first time since I was (probably) 3 years old, when I was 33 and pregnant with my 2nd child. Our relationship has changed since that day. All for the better.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Mums the Word
You either have to “overcome” or “become”. I decided to overcome, so my sister doesn’t have to look in the mirror and see our donor of female genetic material looking back… she probably looks and sees me.
flutterby’s last blog post..Ear worms, Oscars, and other annoyances
My sister and I have made a pact with each other. Who ever begins “morphing” into our mother, the other will put her out of any further misery!
Now I better go read that perfect post.
Nancy’s last blog post..Jack and Hill
Where have you been all my blogging life??
I just put “I looked in the Mirror, and saw my Mother” in my book. It was a story I wrote years ago. I started morphing into my mom after I gave birth to my daughter. Granted, we are still very much the ying/yang that we always were, but I see little similarities creeping in. Fortunately, my mom is perfect in her imperfectness….and through all struggles she managed to be much saner than I feel I am.
I will go now and read more. Greetings, Goddess :).
GoddessintheGroove’s last blog post..My Place of Worship
I read Mr Lady’s post and thought it was awesome. Good choice Hot.
Every time someone says I am exactly like my mother I feel flattered and humbled. She is my hero and any similarities that are noticed between us feels like I have been given a gift. I know, it’s scary isn’t it?
Gypsy’s last blog post..I’m open for dinner invitations…..
I’m not a mom yet but there are DEFINITELY times where I’m all, “whut the f**k? who are you? oh. Mom. That’s who you are.”
blah!
Deutlich’s last blog post..The Royals
Dam girl.
My parents are dead, and i am my parents, and now its my kids turn to be just like their dad. (Their mom is dead, so I am all they got. Poor kids, they are F’d.) LOL
Seriously, I always remember my dad telling me , Son if you want to see what a woman will look like or be like when she is older, look at her mother. I thought he was nucking Futz at the time, but looking back, he was right.
I tol;d my kids that, and well, maybe they listened to me TOO well, they are both single at mid 30’s LOL.
As far as working from the house, try flip flops, cutoffs and no bra. Then at least when the mailman comes to the door, you will give him a shock!
i pretty much had the second mother…but not paranoid. i’d love to write a post about her but she reads and would not be amused. my greatest fear is that i will become as ambivalent as she is…
zoe’s last blog post..Windy City Wimp Out
[...] doesn’t have to be this hard - be good to yourself and take the steps to get some sunshine. Ree and Mr. Lady would agree. Filed Under: The New Normal on March 6th, [...]
I have been admiring your blog for awhile now…as a safe stalker.
I think your blog is cool!
Krissy’s last blog post..How about my 100th?!
I think being the first born kinda skews you towards being independent and the strong one..I’m the middle child and I can see similar traits in my brother who was the first born.