Comcan’t installed my office phone today. Digital Voice. The installation technician was even on time. I was thinking I was going to have to stop calling them Comcan’t or Comcrash, because, y’know, good service!?! But then, once the truck pulled out of the driveway and was at the corner, the internets went down. And the television. And Mr. Hot? was screaming, “What did you do?” (Like I have this magical ability to fuck EVERYTHING up. Most things, yes, but not everything.)

Oh Mah Holy Hell.

I called the Comcan’t office and a very, very nice person on the phone (No, I did not call on my new office Digital Voice phone, because, that may cause the neighbor’s house to explode or the Red Sea to part or something - I am powerful that way!) explained to me that my installation technician was most likely a contractor - who gets paid by the number of homes he wreaks havoc on visits - and didn’t say the magic voodoo words and kill the virgin chicken re-set the modem.

So, the very, very nice technician, “Tim” (I call him Tim because that’s what he said his name was), murmured the appropriate words and lo! There was internets. And television. And Mr. Hot now believes that I have the power to REPAIR, as well as DESTROY, my lovelies!

****** lalalalalalala ******

And now, the Coffee Snortin’ Hotlight. And no, not this kind of Coffee Snortin’ - because it’s about seventeen kinds of wrong.

Thanks Solomon for sharing this piece of grossness with all of us!

• From Candy we have Mental Poo - Moog says one of his favorite books is “The Stand”. Another? Jon Krakauer’s “Into Thin Air”. Me too! You should definitely read “Flushable Wipes My Ass“.
• Dizzy Ms. Lizzy gives us Kristy who writes at She Walks Around With It. And I loved her recounting of finding boxed wine. I love me some boxed wine.
• Lizzy also contributed Travis Erwin at One Word, One Rung, One Day. Check out his hilarious Hopping Down the Bunny Trail post.
• AND Lizzy (who is obviously an overachiever!) said to check out The Nerdy Redneck. He tells us that it’s hopeless and genetic here.
• Major Bedhead suggested hotlighting Kevin Charnas. You can learn about Kevin here and laugh about his red-underweared encounter with his neighbor.
• Mr. Lady (who cracks me up daily her own bad self) told me about Anne Nahm. She’s too cool for a tagline and wrote a compare and contrast post on/off birth control pills - I know whereof she speaks.
• One of my new commenters, Michael C, had me snorting (vodka, not coffee, but it was after noon 5). Go see The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile - and check out this one and that one.
• And these two bitches darlings bitches, Kelley and Mrs. FANCYPants have had a lovely time making fun of me in these posts. I was mortified. I cried (well, I laughed until I cried, but they couldn’t make me go run to mama.) Then Fancypants had to email me and tell me I missed her in my New Commenters post. So I edited it. Now she’s there.
• And Sonia actually blogged a coffee snorter about coffee!

And then there’s this:

that turns into this:

Iz watchun teh mows on teh desk.

****** lalalalalalala ******

—- Okay, April’s Hotlight subject is: Recipe Sites! We all have to eat, right? And with warmer weather around the corner (I KNOW it will happen), I want some new, lighter recipes for Mr. Hot to make! —-