Apr 19 2008
I Can’t Even Do a One-Word Meme
I cleaned out my flower beds today. Got all of the “winter interest” dead-ass stalks cleaned out and admired the tulips getting ready to bloom. I have little green leaves on my Potentilla bushes. We trimmed our beautiful River Birch to give it it’s classic shape. I weeded out stray grass seedlings from the perennials. It was 74 beautiful degrees. I wanted to strip down to mah bare-nekkid-ass, throw myself to the ground and roll around. (And I would have, too, but the juvenile delinquents hooligans kids across the street were riding their go-cart and the asshat jerkoff neighborhood snoop gentleman farmer behind us was tinkering with his tractor. )
We went around checking the seedling trees we planted last year. I think 3 or 4 of the 10 survived. In 15 years, they may be 6 5 4 feet tall. (They came, literally, in a padded envelope and looked like sticks. With little paint marks on them. Ten trees for $10.)
I have dirt under my fingernails. I am happy.
As far as I’m concerned, I must live high-rise city or way-the-fuck in the country. Give me downtown Chicago….no grass, 45-story buildings, cabbies happy to run you down, five-star restaurants and doormen -or- give me wetlands preserves, manure in the flower beds, 7-miles to the grocery store and raccoons in the yard. Suburban neighborhoods are where I grew up, but there’s a reason I always felt out of place.
After the yardwork, we went out to MomandDad’s. Our bedroom set is a really old hand me down ancient walnut queen-sized bed, chest of drawers, and a mirrored dresser that MomandDad bought about 40 years ago. (Seriously….I just calculated it out. They bought it in 1968….I was, um, 5.) Mr. Hot uses the chest of drawers. I use the dresser. Two of my six drawers are broken. If I pull them out more than an inch (say, to actually get a sock out?), I must make sure I’m wearing steel-toed boots. Because, y’know, they fall out onto my toes. And then I cry.
Dad has a lathe. He can make new drawer runners that aren’t disintegrating - and I can save my pedicure. And my mascara. “Please make me two of these,” say I. “Shall I do them for you right now?”, says he? “Oh no, whenever you have time,” says me. Then I drink their coffee and eat their grapes.
When Mr. Hot and I returned home, we brought the chairs out and set them up on the deck.
Now, I’m stealing this from Lys. Because it looks cool. And I want to see if I can do it.
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think.
Remember: one word answers.
1.Where is your mobile phone? Purse
2.Your significant other? Hot
3.Your hair? Messy
4.Your mother? Polish
5.Your father? Cosby
6.Your favorite thing? Husband
7.Your dream last night? Balding
8.Your favorite drink? Merlot
9.Your dream/goal? Leisure
10.The room you’re in? Living
11.Your ex? Practice
12.Your fear? Cancer
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired
14.Where were you last night? Kitchen
15.What you’re not? Naive
16.Muffins? Poppyseed
17.One of your wish list items? Arabian
18.Where you grew up? Canton
19.The last thing you did? Read
20.What are you wearing? Shorts
21.Your TV? ESPN
22.Your pets? Sleeping
23.Your computer? Warm
24.Your life? Comfortable
25.Your mood? Content
26.Missing someone? Gramma
27.Your car? Avenger
28.Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
29.Favorite Store? Kohl’s
30.Your summer? Short
31.Like someone? Mr.
32.Your favorite color? Forest
33.When is the last time you laughed? 8
34.Last time you cried? Movies
—- I’ve discovered that I’m a wordy bitch. I had to tell a story before I did the one-word meme. And, I kept wanting to type an explanation to my answer. —-
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
Perhaps if you did strip down, the neighbourhood kids would have left you alone?
Grateful Guy’s last blog post..The “Things I’m Grateful For” April Contest
Wicked.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Maine Puzzle
“I’ve discovered that I’m a wordy bitch” might be one of my favorite hotfessional quotes. It should be up there in your header one of these months!!!
Also, did you see my tweet to KJ a couple of hours ago? You & I have the same need for important details!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..For everyone (and everyone you know) who has a dog in Milwaukee… this one’s for you!
Wow! Sounds like you got down and dirty today; good for you! 74, ummm, that sounds nice for Michigan! I love tulips when they first pop up in the spring; we have a patch out back, with a laughable story behind it. About 3 years ago, in the fall, I thought I would surprise my wife by planting about 50-60 tulip bulbs in the small patch out back, and then she would be surprised in the spring when they all popped up. The next spring, tulips started popping out of the ground like crazy, but there weren’t 50-60, there were over a hundred and and twenty! It seems that she had the same idea as I had, and made a bulb planting on the sly like I did, and was going to surprise me! Somehow, we managed to plant slightly apart from each other, and used complimentary colors of bulbs, so the little patch of wildflowers and other plants with the new tulips actually looked really nice. Maybe that’s soul mating in action…
coastrat’s last blog post..MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST BLUE BIRD UPDATE
YOUR FAVORITE THING IS ME. Admit it.
Also, Canton OHIO? Because, if it is, we must talk.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Updates
Ahem, excuse me! Mr Lady seems to be sadly mistaken because it is me you adore…
C’mon Mr Lady, I will fight you for the love of the lickable Ree!
Kelley’s last blog post..Moo is a princess.
I’d like to give our river birch a trim: With a chain saw and a stump grinder. That has to be the messiest tree ever. Pollen AND sap in the spring. More pollen and sap in the summer. Sticks and branches every damn day.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Fairy land
It’s a guilty pleasure to let things lie as they die before winter, but it sure is nasty payback in the spring when you still have all the work to do only now the stalks are more like stiff weapons.
I do the same thing every year.
Suzette’s last blog post..Spring fever is not limited to mankind but affects the vermin as well.
Gotta love the spring/summer. I don’t think I venture out of the house more than 4 times, other than to do daily tasks all winter. Now that it “seems” to be getting warmer I plan to get alot done outside. My list of things to do is getting larger as I am outside longer.
Married Leos’s last blog post..Spring Summer Projects - Pool Install
It wasn’t even 74 degrees here yest!! That sucks!
It was cool!
I am the proud owner of a dresser my parents purchased in 1979 (the year my brother was born.) It is a HIDEOUS orange-ybrown color, but all in one piece (minus the crack in one of the legs from the first time I moved.) I am sure that those bastards from Antiques Roadshow would say it was only worth $1, but to me….well….it is probably still only worth $1.
Oh yeah, and I stole your 1 word thingie
That is harder that it seems!
Kristabella’s last blog post..Tectonic Plates: Your New Alarm Clock
what a cool meme! I might just have to steal it and do it later this week!
moo’s last blog post..why funny girls are fat
Brilliant.
I have to say I thought I was weird until I read your post–I too would be perfectly pleased to live in the middle of NYC or London OR out in the boondocks with trees and silence. But no place in the middle.
Melissa’s last blog post..Green Angel, Green Sneakers
Love the meme. So was it 8 o’clock or 8 years old for no. 33??
Heidi
Heidi’s last blog post..Of Exercise and Exploration
I think I’m doing the flower-bed revival thing tonight. The one good thing about hoein’ the garden/flowers? The dumb jokes I can use. i.e.
“I’m such a good hoe. Aren’t I honey?”
“You like your hoe, don’t you?”
“I know how to work my hoe.”
hee hee.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Oh Vogue. How thee disappoint me.
[...] seen this one around sorta all over, but once Ree did it, I knew I could steal it. In fact, if I asked, she’d have GIVEN it to me, so no hard [...]