May 08 2008
Bang Head Here.
This is a string of emails from the past couple of days. This is the reason that I use the phrase “Oh Mah Holy Hell” about seventy-eleven times an hour.
Dear Hotfessional:
I understand from Sue that Bob (from Company D) wants to keep the reports that were created for Company C. Since Company D no longer owns these reports, I’m not sure what we should do.
Signed,
Joe
Okay, so Sue is once again causing a panic about something she knows nothing about. Bob cannot have access to these reports. Legally, Bob’s department has NO RIGHT to the reports any longer. Sigh. I’ll take care of Sue later.
Dear Joe,
As you have indicated, Company D no longer has any legal right to keep these reports. Additionally, below, you’ll find that Bob’s manager understands that and has indicated that it is perfectly fine to delete those reports. Please proceed with the plans as defined - delete all copies of those reports. Company C (the new owners) have what they need.
Sincerely,
The Hotfessional
What Bob’s manager actually wrote was, “We don’t need the reports. Delete them.” (Could he have been any more clear?)
Dear Hotfessional:
Are you sure that Bob is okay with this?
-Joe
Um, Joe? I don’t really give a shit what Bob is okay with. Legally, (may I repeat myself?) Bob has no right to this information. Bob’s manager agrees that Bob has no reason to need these reports. Bob is a moron. Joe, you are a bigger moron.
Dear Joe,
Bob’s manager is fine with it. Legally, Company C has NO right to this information. I have provided Bob’s manager’s approval. Please go ahead with the plans to delete the reports.
Thanks again.
The Hotfessional
And OMFG! Please come to my house so I can stick my pencil through your right eye and out your left ear.
Dear Hotfessional,
I just want to make sure you realize, once deleted they are gone for good and can not be recovered.
Joe
Sigh. And I can put my letter opener into your right ear and out your left eye. Really, stop by anytime!
Dear Joe,
Just delete the fucking things already. I told you we have no right to the information. I told you that I’ve gotten everyone’s okay. I don’t know if you think I’m a liar or just plain stupid or what, but if you don’t delete the damn things, I’m going to take whatever tapes/disks/flash drives/pieces of freakin’ paper they are on and shove them, individually, up your ass!I understand.The Hotfessional
—- I was afraid that once I started working from home I would run out of stories of idiocy for this blog. Obviously, I was wrong. —-
Are you going to BlogHer? Do you want to take her with you? I hear she drinks like a fish and has lovely shoes!
HOT LOVE
Joe sounds like a dumbass. But his idiocy does seem to lend itself to a few good laughs on occassion (at least by those of us that don’t have to work “with” him.)
Cousins shouldn’t marry. It just never works out.
Solomon’s last blog post..My muse has vanished
At least you didn’t pull the Mr. Hot/Boss switcheroo and send Joe the email reply that you sent us and sent us the reply that says I understand!!! lmao about the whole thing. Don’t you just love people?
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..Phones
Should I be going to BlogHer? What exactly is blogher? If it’s far, far, away and lasts about two to three months, I’m in.
Shania’s last blog post..If I didn’t have Piglet…
I am sure Joe was just trying to be careful . . . (MAJOR eye roll)
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..I’m Back!
“…once deleted, they are gone for good and cannot be recovered…”
I guess you’re really glad that Joe explained the concept of “delete” for you. Being a professional, and an intelligent woman, you never could have figured that out on our own, right?
Dana Whitaker’s last blog post..Oh, romance is not dead
Sometimes when this stuff happens, I look inward and think “AM I THE STUPID ONE?” and then I read your stories and realize NO, it’s them!
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Mothers Day Gifts
Wow, those are some serious idiots. I can’t believe you don’t start Happy Hour at approximately 9:47 a.m. every day. I would.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Where’s the humor?
Yikes! - Isn’t it fun to - chase your tail like that - whoops, I mean have a vibrant career?
Becky’s last blog post..Dreams can be so freaky
OMG.
People are so, so, so special.
Joe sounds like the program people at my org that I (constantly) have to get data from.
Laurel’s last blog post..Questions, Part Six: “Where In the World Is L-Sass?” Edition
Whee! Such a happy parade of idiots in your day!
daysgoby’s last blog post..the sights and sounds of spring
You’re either dealing with recruiters or people in HR … they are the only ones that seem to have “stories of idiocy”.
[smirk]
** disclaimer to any reader in either field, I know there are exceptions to my smart ass observation **
Nancy’s last blog post..Sisterly Love
My poor Hubby has to deal with things like this all day, every day at work, too. This is why he comes home grumbling so often. People are stupid.
barbra’s last blog post..We interrupt this blogger malaise to bring you the following announcement
Ha, ha, Nancy’s right! Because the people my Hubby has to deal with? Are in HR and recruiting!
We teachers have lots of stories, too. They’re just different!
barbra’s last blog post..We interrupt this blogger malaise to bring you the following announcement
Boy: this was really one of those “Hey brainless, READ MY LIPS! type of days, huh? As my electrician buddy is fond of saying (as pretty much a response to everything) ‘Unbelievable!’ Vodka and cranberry juice earlier than usual today, was it….?
coastrat’s last blog post..WEEK #9 - MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST BLUE BIRD UPDATE
Tonight Joe’s blog says “God, you would NOT believe what I had to deal with today. There’s this chick I’ll call Hotfessional and do you wanna know what she said? And I kept EXPLAINING to her what delete means but I don’t think she got it………………”
They all think THEY’RE the smart ones.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..2 Teeny Questions… For You
Lmao! I so love dealing with dumbasses. Especially dumbasses who like to make my work 10 times harder than it needs to be.
=P
Twisting Ivy’s last blog post..I Don’t Do Happy
He he he… arsehats… I have had a blissful week, home sick. No arsehats except those I birthed or helped me get in that situation.
Thanks for the BlogHer plug my lovely! Smootches
Kelley’s last blog post..I am a woman of my word, Iceel you bastard.
One of your best posts ever. Can’t wait to show to my husband, who works with a dozen Joes and the Supreme JoeAnn of the Universe.
Betsy Bird’s last blog post..I Sure as Hell Better Get Extra Credit
I often kick myself for taking Spanish classes. Stoopid seems like it would be so much more valuable these days. Does your office offer a crash course in Stoopid?
Dingo’s last blog post..It’s the DNA
Oh, good grief. You should drink more.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..A new road
I love your stupid people. They are SO FUNNY.
Veronica’s last blog post..Schwackers - A Critique
hehehehe At least working from home you don’t actually have to see the stupid stupid stupid people..
and they are actually stealing someone else’s oxygen. not yours..
bloody stupid oxygen thieves..
xxx kim
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Mystery Object Revealed… Tadaaa!!!!
People will never stop being jackasses.
Katie’s last blog post..The weather is my favorite pastime
OMG. You have so much more patience than I think I could muster. Especially after that last one. This post made me have a very unpleasant flashback to various orientations I’ve had to attend. Thanks!
Ok, Where Was I?’s last blog post..Momentous Photo Event
as the naught chef would say “fuck me”. you have the patience of a saint.
zoe’s last blog post..TFT: Excuses are like Assholes
ZOMG! I would have been all “no, I am not sure what DELETE means. Maybe you could send me the Wiki definition.”
Kristabella’s last blog post..Dirty Girl Scout
I’ll take that email exchange any day over dealing with 20-some year old college idiots who work at the mall and look down on you bc you are older working at the mall and need the freakin’ income and don’t know how to give you directions from left to right so if you screw up, then they act all condescending. i’ll take professional drama anyday hands down. who wants to take crap from a girl stuffing scentable foaming soap in a drawer. can you guess where i work!?
PS, did you send me a chat msg today? i’s just making sure. that’s all. today i spent an hour driving somewhere for a 20 minute interview, all in the rain over terrain i didn’t know. to say i was stressed, was an understatement. then i dealt with 20 yr old idiots. it’s cold here, i’m hungry and i don’t feel like cooking anything. but life is still good. i like your window view…is what i’m saying.
I cannot get “OH MAH HOLY HELL” out of my head now. I love it. Bless you. I needed a new phrase these days and it is PERFECT.
Love your writing. And excellent usage of strikethroughs.
Thanks for coming by!
Jenn@breedemandweep’s last blog post..Every woman gets her fifteen minutes
Oh yes, I am adding you to my blogroll right now. I feel you are a kindred spirit. Just get you riled up and you are a force of nature.
Krissa’s last blog post..THE BELL
OMfricking GOD am I having one of these days….
I think I’m going to walk around the office whiping asses…idiot’s..
mp’s last blog post..$50 iTunes Giveaway!!