May 21 2008
I’m gonna prove every word I say
Part 1 — Part 2
Part 3 — Part 4
Part 5
The weeks after we moved in together are a blur, but there are a few things that stand out.
- I had a couple pairs of jeans. Some sweaters. I wore a lot of Mr. Hot’s clothes.
- I didn’t have any money. I refused to take any money from my accounts with Practice. He, of course, wasted no time in emptying them out. He called his parents. He called my parents. Told everyone I’d left him. He went to Michigan with a check for over $20,000 and all of my jewelry. When he got there, his father said, “Wow, you had all that money and she didn’t pay your student loan payment?” (Told you he didn’t believe me). His mother said, “I didn’t think she would leave without her jewelry.” (She apparently thought I had married him because he gave me gold.)
- Mr. Hot and I started back to school for the Winter/Spring semester. The ex-Mrs. Hot (we’ll use the alias Karen, okay? not her real name) was a teacher and so had been off on Christmas break with the kids. Once school started back though, things had to change. The alarm still went off in our bedroom at two-OMFG-thirty every morning. Mr. Hot still kissed me awake, I still told him to “Be careful”. Now, though, he’d run home to me for a quick breakfast after finishing his route. Then he’d head over to Karen’s house. She taught in a tiny little town in coal mining country - he watched the kids after she left; took 24 to school, and then he’d drop 20 off at his parents’ house. Depending on the day of the week, we’d either pass each other coming and going, finally meeting up for lunch; or we’d end up sitting in class together.
- We had to install the phone, no longer could we hide away in our little world. Every morning, after Mr. Hot had gone to work, Practice would call me. It’s funny, I don’t remember a lot of the discussions, but I remember the phone ringing every day at 3 or 3:15. One time, he told me that he had started attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings. He said, “They told me that we may not be able to have kids because I smoke so much pot.” I reminded him that I had told him that many times before. He cried.
- I remember Karen calling one time and telling Mr. Hot that she thought she was pregnant because she missed a period. In the next breath, she told him her gynecologist told her it was probably because she was under a lot of stress. I started breathing about 6 hours after they hung up.
- We lived in the town that Mr. Hot grew up in. Karen grew up there, too. Her parents were “important social people” in town. They had “standing”. They had “status”. They had spies. It seemed that everything we did or said was reported back to Karen. If we walked down the street holding hands, we were “rubbing it in”. If we were spotted talking, we were “having a fight”. Once, oh mah holy hell y’all, we got into line at the grocery store and kissed. I looked up to see Mr. Hot’s eyes get wide. Karen was in the aisle next to us. I felt surrounded by hatred.
- Mr. Hot’s mother refused to let me into her house. She refused to mention my name. His father hadn’t been completely healthy for years, although he worked as a driver for one of the hotels after he retired from his manufacturing job. She was afraid the mention of my name would cause him to have another heart attack. My father wouldn’t talk to me, but he wrote me a very long letter telling me how I was screwing up my life. My mother would call when she could. She seemed to understand - she told me I hadn’t been myself for years. I told her all of the sordid details of my marriage.
- The girlfriends came by one evening. The four of us sat in our very small living room and discussed options. Neither one of them thought that I should have moved in with Mr. Hot. The Lawyer talked about the inability for me to get a settlement or alimony if I was living with another man. The Engineer (who I had met ONLY because of Practice - they worked together) agreed vehemently with her. She wanted me to get as much as I could. I had no reason to want anything except half of that cash that he had taken back to Michigan and my own personal belongings - things I brought into the marriage. I knew arguing with Practice about property and money would only delay my freedom. It was one of the last times I spoke to the Engineer (my best friend until Mr. Hot ended up in my life) for about 10 years.
- The first Gulf War started on January 16th, 1991. Mr. Hot came running home from campus where he had a 6 pm class. We listened to Peter Arnett, John Holliman, and Bernard Shaw reporting. We fell asleep in the living room in front of the television after bringing the alarm clock out. About a week later, our friend Tom got a call - his reserve group had been called up. We never did get to thank Tom for introducing us, but I’m sure he never, ever, expected it to turn out the way it did.
- Practice asked me to come make dinner for him on his birthday. He insisted on picking me up, taking me to the grocery store to get the ingredients and asking me to make lasagne. Not exactly the fastest meal, right? I was still stupid enough to figure that I owed him that much. When we were in the checkout line, the cashier asked me something. I have no idea what. I don’t remember what I responded. I do remember him telling her, “Don’t believe anything she tells you, she’s a liar.” Mr. Hot was asleep when I got home. I’m not sure he expected me to come back.
- On February 13th, Mr. Hot said, “When was the last time you had your period?” I looked at him. “Oh, heck, it was, um, when I was up in Michigan - Christmas time.” He looked back at me. “Do you think we should go to the drugstore?” We came back with a pregnancy test, and I went into the bathroom. After peeing on my hands as much as the stick, I left it in the bathroom and came back out to curl up on the couch. “I can’t stand it. I can’t sit in there and wait.” He laughed and went to pick it up out of the bathroom. He came back out and stood in front of me. “I can’t read this thing”, he said and stuck it right into my face. I opened my eyes and started sobbing immediately. Sobbing, laughing, reaching out for the man that was the father of the baby I was carrying.
—- Who knew it was so easy for me to get pregnant? Apparently, there was a “Just Add Sperm” sign on my uterus and I never suspected. It was time for us to find lawyers and get this whole process started. We had nine months to get divorced and marry each other. —-
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Oy! What with the little income and the other kids and that lovely atmosphere surrounding you, I’ll be interested how the story keeps playing out …
charlotte’s last blog post..Wish him well
I just recently started reading your blog and am so hooked right now!! Looking forward to the next update. Can’t wait to see your personal Cinderella story continue to unfold.
DeeMarie’s last blog post..Driving, Driving, Driving
That whole thing with the grocery store is like straight out of a Lifetime movie.
Kristabella’s last blog post..I’m Available For Babysitting
I really hope there is a “Where is Practice Now?” epilogue for this story that states that he is still a crazy pothead.
Laurel’s last blog post..Other Neurotic Things I Do
Oh mah holy hell, girl! I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Oy. Even I was in tears by the end of this post. This just keeps getting deeper and deeper. Hugs to you!
“Just add sperm” Love it, and your story.
witchypoo’s last blog post..To The Rescue!
Wow, it just keeps getting better and better! You have lived quite the life lady! Oh, can I borrow your uterus?
Dirty Laundry Diva’s last blog post..How to burn bridges via email.
I have just watched the nicest sunrise as I read this post and the previous two.. seems apt..
cheers kim xxx
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
If it’s not too personal, why did you think you couldn’t have kids? I think I remember reading that…if not, um, never mind.
Shania’s last blog post..Oh Ralph, who art thou?
Wow. Such an emotive story. I actually teared up a bit.
Solomon’s last blog post..I have 18 mealworm pupae!
I’m so sorry about Tom.
And it’s a good thing you didn’t get pregnant with Practice!
barbra’s last blog post..Quien es mas macho?
I have that sign on my uterus too. Time for Brad to get the old snip-snip, then I get my boob job!
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..For my MIL, should she ever read my blog.
OH MY GAWD… didn’t see THAT coming!
LOL
Seriously! Who’s gonna play you in the movie?
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Here’s the TV Remote, I’ll Be Napping…..
Oh my god…. I suspected about the timing, but this is getting SO exciting!
(Yeah, because all that other stuff was bor-ring…)
(Not.)
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Art, part 2
It’s interesting that people who are the primary reason that marriages fail are the first ones to contact everyone on both sides once it happens, to try to give them the impression that they were soooo surprised when it happened, and they certainly were not the cause of it happening. I have seen this happen a number of times. And this bozo took all of the money for himself; not only was he a control freak, but also extremely selfish, and had a pretty good inferiority complex. Calling you every day; get a life and a grip, junior! And the “you’ve got to make me dinner on my birthday” thing… Pleeeaassseeee…! Sorry, Ree, sometimes I just get a little worked up and go on… <3 u!
coastrat’s last blog post..WEEK #11 - MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST BLUE BIRD UPDATE
Wow. This is such a great story. Not many people are willing to turn away from the comfortable and head out into uncharted territory for love. (Okay, that sounded totally dumb, but you know what I’m saying)
And I would have totally did the same thing and not cared about money- I would’ve just wanted out.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Jodie Foster and Memorial Day Weekend.
I like the part when Mr. Hot asks ““When was the last time you had your period?”
Hehehe.
Fishing Around’s last blog post..Breathing gets harder
“Just ADD Sperm”, eh? Very Cool. LOL
The ‘Just Add Sperm’ comment had me rolling. This story is so amazing Ree! Seriously, people in your past have BALLS, but so do you (and I mean that in the BEST-est of ways!!) Love ya girl.
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..Updates and more?.
holy shit.
Dawn’s last blog post..Help! I need your opinion!
Only you, special, wonderful you!
amanda’s last blog post..The Money Store
*snort* Well I totally saw that coming… being that I know the outcome and the dates and shit.
Wow, I wish MPS and I’s ‘courtship’ was as exciting.
Kelley’s last blog post..Buffer post to stop the madness.
Oh, Ree! You make me remember the good parts of my own story - and you tell yours so very well!
daysgoby’s last blog post..the kid with clown hair
And the plot thickens muahhahahahaha I am so loving this story!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait until the next update
Dawn’s last blog post..I’m not dead yet
So much fun.. Keep it going!
Oh my word!
And I have never been able to sit alone in a bathroom and wait for a result on a test.
Veronica’s last blog post..Updates
You made dinner for Practice on his birthday??? Ree, you are CRAZY!
Heidi
Heidi’s last blog post..Plane Pain
OK, so Tom was killed?
I get that…take the stuff and run, not worth prolonging the freedom. I can’t believe Pratices Mom thought you would give a shit about jewelry.
mp’s last blog post..Things going on?
Well holy crap I hope you got SOME of the $$$! Babies aint cheap!
Fannie’s last blog post..Grateful
“Just Add Sperm” That’s hysterical. WHO KNEW?
Candy’s last blog post..What She’s Got Cook-Ing
The movies of the lives we make… I have followed you on twitter for a while but this this the first time I have stopped by the ol’ blog to read more.
Interesting, this, since I just recently had a conversation about who would play me in my movie. Real life is more captivating.
evey’s last blog post..The Fine Art of Friendship
@CoastRat - totally true about the other party just spreading out venom. I lived through that as well.
Just Add Sperm - I think Dr. Girlfriend had that on hers as well.
We have a one year old now!
Charles’s last blog post..So Others May Live | Memorial Day 2008