May 23 2008
Going to the Chapel
Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3
Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7
We’re in the home stretch!
Mr. Hot and I talked about wedding dates. We knew we didn’t have a lot of time, and since we weren’t planning on a church wedding (snort. and snirk. and hahahahahaha!), we figured it would be easy enough to plan.
I wasn’t thrilled about an early June wedding. That would have been too close to Mr. Hot’s previous anniversary. (I wanted to make it easy on him, but I did not want him to mix up my date with hers.) Nothing was available in late June or early July. We were scheduled for July 22nd. My grandmother’s birthday. She would have adored Mr. Hot.
First, though, we had to get through all of the pre-wedding crappe. There was the blood test. Then the license. In West-by-gawd-Virginia, when you applied for a license, they ran the bride and grooms name in the newspaper. I guess so that “if anybody knows if any reason these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace”. Oh Mah Holy Hell, y’all. Think about it. The home town newspaper publishing that “Ree Maidenname” and “Mr. Hot” were going to get married on such-and-such a date.
I had visions of the locals gathering up wood to use as torches. I had nightmares about the scene from Frankenstein where the mob stormed the castle. Our house wasn’t made of stone. To mix metaphors, it was made of straw - like the first little pig’s house. And the entire town was going to huff and puff and blow it right-the-fuck down.
Karen took the kids down to their usual beach vacation spot with her parents. They were gone for two weeks at the end of June/beginning of July. It would have been the ideal time to get the license and have that notice printed, but it was too far away from our date with the Judge. There was a time requirement (2 weeks prior maybe?) - and we were outside that.
************************
We Mr. Hot received a postcard while Karen and the kids were away. It said, “We miss you Daddy. Wish you were here.” And then in Karen’s handwriting, “I can’t believe you’re not here with us this year. Next year, I have faith, we’ll be together again.”
She really believed that they were going to reconcile. Even two months after the divorce was final, she believed that he’d come home.
************************
Our day was quickly approaching. My mother sent me a beautiful maternity dress. It was a soft dark green - she said it would bring out the green in my eyes. I laughed. “Mom, I wear glasses. No one ever sees my eyes.”
My sister made plans to come visit and bring her son who had just turned 18 months. She was going to come down for the wedding - to be my witness. I was so excited to see them both.
We finally got to the point where we had no choice but to go file for our license. If we waited one more day, we’d miss the deadline. My classes were over early in the afternoon. Mr. Hot had a later class, but it wouldn’t be any problem to get over to the courthouse afterwards. They were open until 5 and his class ended at 3.
Guess who didn’t come home until 7? Drunk as a fuckin’ skunk?
Mr. Hot had turned into Mr. Cold Feet.
Between 3:30 and 7 - I had imagined every possible scenario. He’d been in a car wreck. Practice had killed him. He’d gone back to Karen. He’d met someone else.
I tried to think. What would I do? I had a friend who had moved to San Francisco. I’d go live with her. I obviously couldn’t stay in Huntington - I was 6 months pregnant with my lover’s baby. I was divorced from my husband. My remaining settlement money was dwindling fast, eaten up by tuition payments and the difference in rent. I’d have to decide soon - I found a really old pack of cigarettes and told myself I’d have one. They were the stalest, nastiest, make-me-barf things I had ever had. It was exactly what I needed at that second.
And then he walked in the door.
He kneeled next to me while I cried great, heaving, gulping sobs. “Why didn’t you just tell me that you didn’t want to get married? I can live with that. I can’t live with the thought that you would leave me”, I managed to squeeze out the words between breaths. “Or did you just come to get some stuff? Please, can I stay here until I figure out what to do? And can our baby have your last name?”
He gathered me up into his arms and said, “I just need a little more time. I need to talk to the kids. I’m not leaving you.”
The phone rang. It was Karen. (Her timing was always, always impeccable.) When Mr. Hot cut her off - told her he couldn’t talk, her next question was, “Oh, are you and Ree fussin’? You can come sleep here if you’re having a fight.”
Sigh.
I went with him on his route that night. I wasn’t letting him out of my sight.
************************
Just like I didn’t want to get married in June, I wasn’t thrilled about getting married in August. That was MY anniversary month. Besides, I’d decided that I wasn’t mentioning marriage again. I had never had a single patient bone in my body, but I was sitting tight on this one. No mention of weddings. No mention of judges or licenses or another freakin’ blood test. It was going to be his timeline. His decision. (If you ask him now about this, he will tell you, in no uncertain terms, that even though he’s known me for nearly 18 years, this is the ONLY time I’ve done this. And he would be right.)
One day, we were sitting in the living room, studying, and he said, “I talked to 24 today. I told him I thought it was time that I married Ree. He told me ‘Whatever makes you happy Dad.’”
I looked up from my book. “That’s good.” and I smiled.
************************
The kids had spent the night or the weekend at our house many times. They thought we were roommates. Whenever they spent the night, Mr. Hot would sleep on the living room floor with them. I would sleep in our bedroom. When he left at 2-OMFG-thirty, he’d carry them into our bed or leave them sleeping on the floor and come into tell me he was going. Karen wasn’t thrilled with the idea of me being alone in our house with her kids, but there was nothing she could do about it either. I learned I could handle getting puked on at 4 am.
************************
At the beginning of September, I was sitting in our mudroom grading papers. I had gotten a job as an instructor for Computer Science 101. Teaching a 3-credit class for a semester equaled a semester’s tuition. Even up. I was sitting at my desk. Mr. Hot was sitting behind me, playing on his Atari - and talking. I kept losing track of what I was reading. Let’s face it, reading paragraphs on good directory structure rules is not the most compelling thing to read. Add heat, humidity, no air conditioning and being 8 months pregnant. (Did I mention he does this to this day? If I’m trying to read something, he talks to me? Well, he does.)
“The Herd schedule came out today. The new football stadium is opening September 7th. I can’t believe we’ve watched that thing being built. It’s going to be great to see them actually play there.”
“I can’t wait. I love football season. Maybe we can have some people over before the game? At least Matt and Annette.” (Matt and Annette were our newlywed neighbors. They lived in the other half of the house in a much smaller flat.)
“Sure, maybe some of the professors too. We’ll grill hotdogs, whoever shows up can bring whatever.”
“Alright, I have to finish grading these now. Gawd, these kids can’t write.”
“Wait, let me interrupt you again.”
“huh?” (I was not really paying attention. These things were killers to read.)
“They’re playing Brown on the 28th. We could go get married in Russell before the game. It’s a night game.”
“Uh, okay. That’s fine.”
And then it hit me - what he really had said. And I turned around and said, “Wait? You really mean it?”
“Yea, I told you that I just had to talk to the kids. And that we’d get married before he’s born.” He pointed at my belly.
Russell, Kentucky. Bring your blood test. No license wait period. A Justice of the Peace on every corner. On the banks of the Ohio River.
That’s where it happened. That’s where The Hot Affair became The Hot Marriage. Eighteen days later, this happened.
September 28, 1991
—- Thank you all so very much for traveling on this little journey with me. I’ve enjoyed re-living the amazing twelve months of my life from September 1990 through September 1991. I hope I’ve made you giggle a little on the way. I hope that if you are in love, this helps you remember all of the wonderful things about your partner. I hope that if you’re looking for love, this proves that fairy tales can come true. —-
HOT LOVE
Awww, thanks for telling the story, I’ve enjoyed reading it. And I love the HOT wedding pic!
AmyM’s last blog post..Photobloggin? it
Thanks for sharing, Ree. I LOVE a happy ending . . .
My Dear Hubby and I are celebrating our 22nd anniversary tomorrow. Doesn’t seem possible . . .
Oh, and? MY hubby does the same thing to me when I’m trying to read something (important stuff, too, like YOUR BLOG - - the nerve of him!) - - he just HAS to talk to me rightthatveryminute!
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..YAY DAD!!!
Aww… loving the wedding pic. =)
You did an amazing job telling the story, and I enjoyed every bit.
Twisting Ivy’s last blog post..Fabulous & Bittersweet
What a great story ( I am partial to your to the point story vs the “other Ree’s” dangling carrot) … and I am so glad you posted the wedding picture, you both look so cute and happy! Now post a current of Mr Hot … he wont know.
P.S. He looks like John Denver =)
Nancy’s last blog post..Good Reads and Good Looks
I SO love that wedding picture! THERE’S the dimple!!
And you got it done before Shortman came along!!
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..You Know You’re a Crappy Housekeeper When…
Great story, Ree! Thanks for sharing. And he does look a bit like John Denver in that photo. Must have been the times.
witchypoo’s last blog post..The Little Professor
Ree-
Loved your story- everything about it! Thanks for sharing! It makes me want to write my and my husband’s story too!
Deb’s last blog post..Channeling Sissy Spacek
Now, that’s love, baby.
Thanks for sharing your wild ride with us.
Seriously, thanks for letting us share a part of you and your life. You 2 look very happy on your wedding day. **I agree with Witchypoo ~ Mr Hot does look an awful lot like John Denver LOL**
Awww.
You guys are cute.
I love the big glasses of the early 1990s. (Hehehe.) I had me a pair of those.
Fishing Around’s last blog post..Red Balloons
just beautiful. You look SO content (and not a BIT pregnant).
moo’s last blog post..putting the fun in family planning
Ree, you are a master of story-telling! I am so glad that you finally got to have your wedding day! And the birth day story, WOW, it brought back memories of our first-born’s birth day. For 3 years when our 3 kids were in their upper grade school years, either my wife or I would get up in the early morning hour and take them on (or do it ourselves) their paper route. All three of them had the same route in succession; one would get tired of it, and the next one would take it over. On the way to the hospital after my wife’s water broke with the first born, it was a 55-mile trip from Hulet, Wyoming to Belle Fourche, SD, over the Little Bear Lodge Mountains, we stopped on top of the mtns for a while to pick some apples in a little orchard. I’ll have to share that story sometime. Great wedding picture! Great story!
coastrat’s last blog post..MOUNTAIN MAN ADVENTURES OF WILL ROLFE
Well, that just renews my faith in marriage.
Weren’t the 90’s great? I had those same glasses, but I still had the mall bangs left over from the 80’s with them.
Seriously, that’s a great story and what a wonderful way to commemorate your history.
Shania’s last blog post..What’s in your wallet?
Shit, you were HOT in the 90’s (that’s totally not a dig at your age, I promise… and neither am I declaring my love… well only a bit!)
and you should have ended it “…and they lived happily ever after”
MrsFancypants’s last blog post..Memories?
Now I must go and Google what is up with that blood test thing. We don’t do that here in Oz…
See, you guys are much purdier than those Bold and the Banal people.
Kelley’s last blog post..outed
Oh wow, what an ending. LOVE it.
Veronica’s last blog post..Seven
I’ve LOVED reading this
Thanks for sharing!
Marylin’s last blog post..Hai kudn’t think of a title?
OMG the hair!
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Misunderstood
Wow - so well written…. this was a story that I didn’t want to end… but I also wanted to know what was going to happen next. No blood tests here in the PNW, nor do we have to announce what’s intended. Good thing, because I was the complete “anti-bride” right up to the very end. I told The Man that I would love to elope, but first marriages are usually more for the parents and NOT for the bride/groom. It’s the “grown up” marriages that are the most interesting to me.
More stories! More stories! You are quite the raconteur!
Jenny’s last blog post..Frieday
Lovin’ the picture!
RC’s last blog post..Big plans?
Awesome! Love the photo! That is one of those shots that you can just glance at and tell that the subjects are truly happy and not just smiling for the camera.
Very romantic! I feel exactly the same way about my soul mate. We’ve been married for 19 years this past March. I wouldn’t trade a single day of it.
Krissa’s last blog post..Friend, motel, ice machine and ‘dye.
I love this blog and the fact you’re willing to share your unconventional love story. I do periodically check in with the other Ree, but I find your tale more interesting!
Oh, Ree. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Heidi
Heidi’s last blog post..Settling In
Awwwwww!
We’d been married just three weeks when you two tied the knot. I think September is an excellent month for weddings! And I definitely think a simple ceremony with no fuss or muss is preferable to some of the crapola our families put us through. I would have eloped in a heartbeat.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..We should have packed a map
what an amazing love story. sooooo much lovlier than mine!
zoe’s last blog post..Put a leash on that thing
w00t.
and i do mean, w00t!
quin browne’s last blog post..Indiana Jones~In The Beginning
That was Great Ree!! It had a little of everything and the ending is still going strong! 24 at the age of ?? was a smart kid - maybe you all should remind him of that!! haha.
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..Happy Memorial Day
So cute!!
I hope that nothing has changed in the last 18 years except your glasses style. (Ha!)
Laurel’s last blog post..Friendship Splitsville
Aww… I loved the story!! Thanks for sharing it with us!!
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Jodie Foster and Memorial Day Weekend.
Yay! What a great story! Thanks for sharing!
Kristabella’s last blog post..All Weekends Should Be 3-Day Weekends
I just popped over to show you I am still alive and got totally caught up in your beautiful love story. There was no way I was leaving either until I had read every word. That was really wonderful Ree and thanks so much for sharing.
I’m not sure what you were so worried about half way through. Seems to me some things are just not meant to be (Practice) and some things just are (Mr Hot). And they all lived Hapiily Ever After.
Gypsy’s last blog post..Here we go again…..
LOVE that. I’m like you..it has to be something MAJOR for me to keep my yap shut.
I love that he thought to go out of state..and make it so it didn’t screw up baby birthin OR football!!
J is just like Mr Hot.. “Can’t you flipping tell I’m on the internet?”. Typing is just like talking w/ my fingers…
On the other hand don’t give me attitude if I’m talking to you during a race on Forza 2..I mean how much consentration does that need…
mp’s last blog post..Memorial Day Group Photo - St Louis Zoo
Oh man … so … sniff … cute …
charlotte’s last blog post..Wish him well