May 30 2008
Let’s Talk About Sex-ku
Mr. Hot points out,
“What men hear is different,
than what women say.”
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Mr. Hot’s contribution to today’s post:
What I heard last night while watching TV with “The Hotfessional”
I heard: “God, I’m insatiable!”
What she said: “Wow, that song’s sensational!”
I heard: “I get so horny when you’re with me!”
What she said: “I can’t believe how corny this show can be.”
I heard: “Bury your face between my tits.”
What she said: “Dana Carvey is the pits!”
I heard: “Let’s go get naked.”
What she said: You won’t believe what Candy said.”
**********************
There is something wrong,
there shouldn’t be so much dust
on Kama Sutra.
**********************
I thought, when I started working from home, that there would be a lot more time for loud, toe curling, grab-the-bedposts and squeaks-be-damned afternoon sex with my husband. Because, y’know, we’re both old, and by the time 10 p.m. rolls around, we’re both half asleep before we drag our asses (cute asses, to be sure, but dragging….) up to bed. Besides, I LOVE afternoon sex. Remember this?
That’s my theme song. Morning sex can be good, but y’know, ewwww on the whole kissing thing right then. And if I’m going to get up to brush my teeth for sex, you better damned well believe I’m going to get some coffee too. And seriously, after enough coffee to wake me up? It’s nearly afternoon anyway.
What happened to my dreams of nooners on the office floor and quickies in the kitchen? Well, I’m not saying it hasn’t happened twice, but oh mah holy hell y’all, these boys better plan on spending some time out of this house this summer.
**********************
Out back is a barn.
We could spread lots of sweet hay,
and watch out for bees.
**********************
—- And every time Mr. Hot and I do manage to get some time alone and treat eat each* other to a little, em, nookie and cookie?, Poopy the Puppy goes down and grabs his bitch pillow off the couch, carries it upstairs and humps it. Anyone know a good bee repellant? —-
*edit: Y’all? How Freudian WAS that typo?
HOT LOVE
snicker. maybe we should all have a contest to see who has the most challenging ambience during sex.
Dawn’s last blog post..I’m in so much trouble
Send the boys out to the movies. That might work *LOL* or find some errand or pray that 24 and Shortman get jobs that require them to work til 5/6/7.
I’m in agreement with you on the morning shenanigans.
Lys’s last blog post..Philly,This About Sums It Up…
Oh dear. Yeah, maybe just at therapist for the Poopy puppy…?
Krissa’s last blog post..Not just a lame excuse.
Hmmm….maybe Mr Hot should go and get that hearing thing checked out? LOL (Maybe most men should get that hearing thing checked out ‘cuz I gotta tell you ~ The Man hears exactly the same thing as Mr Hot - *unless* I am SCREAMING at him that is. LOL)
finding time alone is always a challenge. we have a 13-year-old who “forgets” to knock.
fortunately, we have avoiding giving her a true grit education. but one day ………
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: the opposite sex — loved and lost — edition
Skyrockets in flight, yo. I remember the days….
Mr Lady’s last blog post..This Week In?.
Did I tell you lately how I love you?
I do. Totally. And my blog blew up and Rob seems to be away.
*whines*
Hi Ree … I’m totally late - and irrelevant - but I wanted to tell you how awesome your blog looks. You? Are mah inspiration! Let me know if I can catch you in Chicago sometime!!
Marianne’s last blog post..Seasons of Love - Four Months
Absolutely brilliant!
I completely wussed/flaked on the theme this week. Fabulous job!
So true.
You *ahem* nailed it.
rachel’s last blog post..Swinging and Sprinklers
I don’t know if there is really anything to that men and hearing thing, but then, I have so much wax in my ears, I’m lucky to hear my alarm ring in the morning.
Mornings were never a good time for sex during most of our marriage, except in the first 5-6 years, when no kids were around, yet. But then, during those years, either myself or her were gone so much working our various jobs and attending classes, etc., we were lucky to remember each other’s names… Well, not quite that bad. However…
I have to be careful what I write here, because I think my kids read my blog, and maybe even my comments on other’s blogs…
Thanks for a neat bunch of posts this month, Ree!
coastrat’s last blog post..WEEK #13 - MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST BLUE BIRD UPDATE - WITH PICS OF EMILY THE TREE-CLIMBING WONDER DOG & NATURALIST JOHN!
“squeaks be damned”
darn right. that’s what i say when i do this thing called turning over in my bed…”
and i do it a lot in my bed esp. on these hot nights.
ya want some of my brownies? Cause you are sounding as um, frustrated, as me!
Kelley’s last blog post..Duuuude! Point that thing outside.
Damn, here you are talking about sex and I am not allowed to have any. Boooo!
Veronica’s last blog post..How To Reperkify Your Breasts
Loved what Mr Hot heard. Men and women communicating is like a chinese whisper really, you never know how the hell it’s going to end up.
Sorry about the lack of afternoon delight honey. Those kids sure do need to get a life “outside” of the house. Don’t they realise they’re cramping your style?
Gypsy’s last blog post..Here we go again…..
Tee hee.
That’s HILARIOUS that Poopy thinks he needs to join in with his pillow. And just damn creepy too… lol.
My cat likes to watch. She’ll be nowhere to be found… but once the lovin’ is done, you realize she’s been there for an indeterminate amount of time. Staring. Eek!
Twisting Ivy’s last blog post..Ivy’s Twisted Canoe
Hi, I came over from BlogHer (again), good stuff. We are older than you (I think) and I agree with the morning sex thing, if I am going to be awake enough for the act, I am going to need a cup of Joe in my hand to go along with my side order of David!
Thanks for speaking of me in your blog recently, that was totally unexpected. Thanks.
Carrie’s last blog post..Wii’re Back
Around here? I don’t even have to talk. He just thinks he can put the words right in my mouth and make them true, lol. He’s usually wrong. And I am still trying to figure out where in the rule book it says being tipsy on tequila is the exact same thing as being horny as hell. Because I can’t find it. But he sure seems to think it’s there.
flutterby’s last blog post..And he told his grandma…
ahahah- I remember when that song came out and I was sooooo innocent I didn’t quite “get” the meaning.
I do now.
Jenny’s last blog post..Hey Lady
I was so young when that song was in, and I remember being very proud to sing it for my parents.
They had to have been laughing so hard on the inside! I still love that song, though.
RC’s last blog post..Too quickly*
I used to like that song, too, back in the days… It brought back a few memories…
coastrat’s last blog post..SATURDAY HEAT AND WIRING FUN!
LMAO…
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
I’m with Ivy, funny in a creepy way. We had a dog we had to lock out of the room during, um, “sexy time”. I don’t know what he thought was going on, but he didn’t like it. Now we just have to lock the kid out.
Shania’s last blog post..Just get out, already!
I’m feeling flustered. I’m not sure if it was you or your husband flirting with me there…but it was erotic either way
Candy’s last blog post..I, Too, Do Not Live In Water
Oh my gosh! I thought ours was the only dog that did that! Except he humps his bed, and he humps it clear across the room. Once he made it all the way to his food dish against the opposite wall, at which point he took a break and had a snack. All that humping apparently works up an appetite.
Molly’s last blog post..Damn you, Jordan’s Furniture!
My neighbors like the afternoon sex. We live in a courtyard and EVERYONE in my apartment complex knows just how much she likes afternoon sex.
Kristabella’s last blog post..SF: It Isn’t All Fog And Taxi Cab Accidents
I remember that song so well that I thought an Afternoon Delite was an ice cream sundae
mp’s last blog post..They don’t say burst anymore.