Jul 14 2008
Rod Serling* Visits
Last night, Mr. Hot and I were sitting on the couch watching Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. (Why yes, we’re a bit behind in our movie watching.) Oh mah holy hell y’all…I’d heard the whispers about the chiseling of this new Bond guy’s abs, and his arms, and his legs…but {{swoon}} - fuck a duck. He’s gorgeous.
Um, wait, that’s not where this post was going. Shall we start over?
So, we’re watching this movie. Mr. Hot gets up to refill his Big Gulp cup wine glass with some nice red from the box in the garage. (Shut up. It’s more economical in bulk.) When he opened the door out to the garage, he paused. He looked back at me and then looked out in the garage again.
“Hey, Hot. The lights were on in the car. Y’know, how when you open the door and the dome light comes on? Then it kinda fades out after a while? Well, it was on, and then while I was standing here, it faded out.”
“Hmmmm. My purse is in the house, right?”
I got up from the couch and checked. Yes. Purse in kitchen and wallet accounted for. Checkbook accounted for.
“Check for your mp3 player, Mr. Hot. It was in the glove box.”
“Yes, it’s here. The dog’s leash is here. The Spartan window flag is here. Nothing seems to be missing, but that’s weird.”
He shut the garage door and I started drooling all over again we went back to the movie. I pushed the little nagging thought that some stranger had been in my garage to the back of my mind. After all, if someone had tried to steal something from the car, they didn’t find anything worth taking. Nothing obvious was missing from the garage itself. They didn’t come into the house and kill us all. And the garage door was shut now, so we were all fine.
Besides, Daniel Craig had his shirt off again.
After the movie, I was sitting out on the front porch smoking my “before bed” cigarette waiting for the dog to finish his business and fantasizing about meeting up with Daniel Craig sometime giving Mr. Hot “cookies”. The car horn honked. Once. The car in the garage. (Queue the Twilight Zone music here.)
Now, I don’t scare easily, and I ALWAYS look for the “everyday” explanation behind things like this. It’s not that I don’t believe in “unexplained” phenomena - but like UFOs are Unidentified Flying Objects - unidentified and unexplained don’t necessarily mean ghosts and little green men from Mars. I crave a provable, repeatable reason for shit. Blame 20 years of education (no, it didn’t take me that long to graduate from high school smartie-pants) spent primarily studying math and science.
But y’all? Fuckin’ strange. And creepy. (Again, queue the music.)
I decided that something must have gotten INTO the car. Some stray cat maybe. Or a possum. Something went into the garage while the door was up, crawled into the car since the windows were down, and hit something that turned the dome light on. Now, since Mr. Hot had shut the door, the poor creature was stuck in there - and decided to beep the horn to let us know that he needed out. (Because, y’know, he had to pee and didn’t want to do it in my Avenger.)
Just about the time I was finishing this hypothesis and getting up to explain it all to Mr. Hot so that he could go find out what was in the car, he walked out. With a grin on his face.
“Did you hear the horn honk?”, he asked.
“Yes! There’s something stuck in the car isn’t there? I have it figured out though. Something got into the car when the garage was open and now it’s stuck….”
I tapered off as his grin got bigger. And I noticed his right hand was hidden behind his back.
“I went upstairs and was wondering what was in my back pocket…”
He started patting his ass to demonstrate.
“…and look what I found.”
He held up a set of car keys. With the remote door opener. That turns on the dome light when you unlock the doors. And beeps when you lock the doors.
That had been in his back pocket. Under his butt as he was getting up off the couch. To go fill his cup. Said action apparently triggered the “unlock” mechanism.
Patting his right asscheek apparently triggered the “lock” feature.
—- Now explain to me how he can hit that tiny little button correctly in those circumstances, but when we go to the grocery store and he tries to use the remote entry, he invariably sets off the panic alarm - causing every person in the lot to look at us like we’re idiots. —-
*Rod Serling - The Twilight Zone
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Great blog … I was sitting here reading it ready to call 911 just in case there were bad people responisible …
just so you know … us fellow bloggers, we gotcha back.
Melissa from Pittsburgh’s last blog post..I miss my alcoholism
LOL….
Sounds like something that I would do…
mp’s last blog post..What smells????
Dang, I was totally hoping for the spooky.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Preparation Moose
Hehehe ohhh that so sounds like the sort of thing that would happen around here!
Marylin’s last blog post..9 Month Haiku.
Dude, I didn’t read anything after you talked about Daniel Craig. I’ve been rendered mute and now my brain is all mushy thinking about his abs.
Thanks.
I did have some shit to do today, ya know.
Sunshine’s last blog post..Let’s Talk About Our Completely Irrational Fears!
LOL! that is one talented butt cheek! I’d hate to see what ‘the rest’ can do!!
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Viewing Life Through a Camera Lens
mr. hot just wanted your attention back to him.
zeghsy’s last blog post..ma shoes!
That is too funny!! That definitely sounds like something I would do. And I’d have all these weird reasons why it was happening… hee hee.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Scene From a Relationship- Coupon Style
Who knew Mr. Hot had such a talented ASS!
Laurel’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, AS!
LMAO! I did this once, only I was in church at the time. I put my keys in my purse, and about 30 min later heard someone’s car alarm go off. I literally waited until every other single person had gone out to check if it was their’s before realizing that it was mine. (total dumbass move of the century LOL) I felt like such an idiot after sitting there and watching people, one by one, go out and check to see if it was their alarm. Finally, I just looked around and said (aloud mind you) “It’s mine, isn’t it?” LOL
I was going to write something vaguely obscene about hitting tiny buttons but decided to focus on a Daniel Craig comment instead.
***
Damn, it all comes back to the same thing.
Dingo’s last blog post..Go Find the Funny Contest
DanielCraigDanielCraigDanielCraigsomethingaboutkeysbuttDanielCraigDanielCraig
This is how I just read your blog post. And thank you for that, because it has brightened my afternoon, that thought of the chiseled abs.
That being said, I’m glad no one broke into your car.
That is so funny! I knew exactly what it was when the dome light went on then off. I thought maybe it was in between the couch cushions or something.
Not that it has ever happened to me or anything.
Kristabella’s last blog post..It’s A Blogstravaganza!
LOLOL!!! That is GREAT!
Shelly’s last blog post..How to Mock Your Children
^5 My kinda girl. No neighborhood thief or killer can distract from watching Daniel Craig.
Nancy’s last blog post..Cuffs
I’d say that you getting to smack Mr. Hot’s tush is w-a-y better than you finding a possum in your car.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Book review AND contest!
Oh I can soooo relate! Does he consistently (and anally), double click the remote lock so that the horn beeps EVERY TIME you go somewhere together? John will even make it beep multiple times, requiring thousands of button pushes, I guess. “Just to make sure…”
Krissa’s last blog post..So far today?rather uneventful.
Now to think about this you sure you were not playing with Mr. Hot’s buttcheck and that is what set off the light? lol
too damn funny of a story.
Obi-son’s last blog post..The circle of stuff that breaks
Oh great - - now I have that damn Twilight Zone music stuck in my head . . . thanks, Hot!
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..Everything Went Well!
We have a lock poltergeist in our 96 Odyssey - you can walk by the car and hear the locks making that sound as if they are being locked or unlocked, just at random. And we don’t have any remote keying system or anything.
suburbancorrespondent’s last blog post..BlogWho?
When in doubt, blame the ass.
“Give Mr. Hot ‘cookies’” …… would you STOP making me wake my husband up by laughing like a drunk??
Mmmm…boxed wine. Mmmm…Daniel Craig.
Mmmm….I have ADD. Mmmm…cookies…
The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Everytime I post, an Angel gets its’ wings…Poor, poor Angel. My bad.
Sweet mother of somethin’, you had me scared.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..Sweet sleep
When I saw Casino Royale, I was blown away by the first “vulnerable” Bond. I think Daniel Craig is SO hot, and I’m really never attracted to blonds. The shower scene where he & his Bond girl are fully dressed is one of the sexiest/hottest/best scenes ever in Bond movie. It’s trite to say but the way he just pulls her in, and up against him and just HOLDS her… OMG! Sign. Me. Up.
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..They’re so big that AC/DC wrote a song about them
Ah, Gee! I was really looking forward to finding out what had been in your garage! But very funny just the same. :o)
Jodi’s last blog post..Blackwork Freebie
Men! (seems to be my catch cry of the week. Heh)
And I only got to watch Casino Royale the other day too. *swoons*
Veronica’s last blog post..It Might Be Hormones…
You know I had thought that someone might have a key in their pocket. No really I did.
Married Leos’s last blog post..Change
The strange force in my house is Mr. D.
We have much in common.
Daniel Craig is rather yummy.
melissa’s last blog post..In Which I Nearly Brush Shoulders With Two Amazing Authors In One Night
Bony Ass - that HAS to be how he did it at home and can’t get it right when using his fingers. Then again the thigh photo didn’t show his ass, maybe it is nice and cushy?!?!? Great story though.
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..Special Request for da BEAMS!
LMAO!! Hubby is always setting off the alarm on his car while it’s in the garage… and keys in his pocket. And then he will pull them out to turn it off and almost always ends up with MY car thingy and will set MINE off instead of turning his off. And Daniel Craig in that movie?? OMFREAKINGG! Needless to say, we own that particular DVD.
flutterby’s last blog post..Vodka Cata-Tonic, Vertical Silhouettes, and Tarantulas
So Mr HOT is into ass play? Kinky!!
bretthead’s last blog post..Date Night
I was all ready for aliens to abduct you but this was much funnier.
HA!
mommypie’s last blog post..Toilet seats are germy. Trolls using my name are worse.
Reminds me of the days when I am frantically searching for my sunglasses, tearing the house apart and all that when someone points out that they are on my head… Good times!
Talina’s last blog post..I feel good! Are we ahead of the game?
Ha ha ha! Wonder what would happen if 007 put his key fob in his pocket? The ejector seat would deploy? Jet engines would fire? The car would fold up into a briefcase a la George Jetson?
SarahO’s last blog post..Monday’s Pucker.
Now that is about the funniest thing I have ever heard!! When I have my car keys in my pocket I inevitably hit the panic button.
Oh and don’t worry about being behind on watching movies. We haven’t been to a movie theater in over a year, and at one point we even tried having the movies delivered to our house. We STILL never found the time to sit for 3 hours and watch a movie.
Jacki’s last blog post..So long, farewell…
Too funny! Also sounds scarily like something I would do!
eeeeeeeeeek…. I was having an ‘eeek moment’ for you and the suspense was building up so much that I had to walk away from the computer.
Part of me is still in the twilight zone lol.. Oh and that actor, Daniel whatsisname he is Australian (gloat, gloat) I don’t like James bond at all.. not one bit!!! but I might just have to watch this movie..
Cheers Kim xxx
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Weekly Winners.. (yay)
Oh mah gawd I would have been totally under the covers shivering and making him go out to the garage with a baseball bat to investigate…
Carrie’s last blog post..passing
My toddler daughter has found out that pushing the panic button on our car remotes makes nice flashy lights and sounds. From anywhere in the house. So much fun!
Louise’s last blog post..Delicious Deviled Egg Recipes from Paula Dean
Hi, new to your site. And yes, Daniel Craig is some very tasty eye candy. I think he’s my only celeb crush as of late, actually.
By the way, love your site!
claire’s last blog post..Faux pas, blogging
daniel craig is mr. bond.
i think i need to watch that movie again.
haven’t been here in a while, been kinda busy. excited to see you GI Jane style.