Jul 20 2008
Sunday Night
I’m sitting out on the deck, Mr. Hot next to me, the cats trying to escape down the stairs, and Poopy the Puppy sitting in his own chair. Idyllic. (Except for the little girl down on the corner screeching at the top of her lungs. What is it about girls that makes them just that much louder than boys? Oh, yea. The octave level. Or whatever you musical people call it. It goes through your eyes, into your brain, stabs around a bit and then comes out the other side.)
It’s a bit humid now - but even that seems to be clearing out and the blue sky is finally peeking through the clouds.
My mother called not too long ago. The Golden Child is in town with his whole damn family and they want to come over this week. Sigh. Mr. Hot and Mrs. Golden Child (my sister-in-law) do not mix well.
Wait, that’s not fair. Nor is it entirely true. Not mixing well is what oil and water do. But if you shake them up enough, they can get together for a little while.
Mr. Hot, on the other hand, hates my sister-in-law. She’s probably the one person in this world that I can say that about. He has his reasons…and I understand and support him fully. She knows all. She’s better than you (just ask her!). She has celebrated man’s inhumanity to man - when she feels that her own religion is right. She’s not a nice person. And that’s probably the world’s biggest understatement. She’s a bitch. Not the good kind.
In fact, in a post that I killed (the only one I’ve EVER killed), I named her “The Bitch That Killed Christmas”. She’s one of those completely fake women who will hug you and get all gushy just to happily stab you in the back. Sometimes you don’t even need to turn around for her to have at it.
I can handle her for teeny tiny little bits of time. (Like about 15 minutes. Once a year. Max.) But only for my brother’s sake. And he’s on thin ice since he’s pretty much been brainwashed by her way of thinking.
Sooooooo, annnnyyyywayyyyy, they want to come over this week while they’re in town. And my mother called to see when would be a good time. Since I’m having dinner with Nancy and Sonia Sunshine tomorrow, that’s definitely a no-go. I suggested Wednesday.
When Mr. Hot heard this, he didn’t try to hide anything. My mother, on the line, was prattling on and on about something. I finally had to stop her.
“Mom. Listen. I’ll bring Shortman and we’ll come over on Wednesday. Mr. Hot doesn’t want her at our house. He can’t stand her. He’s pissed off about things she’s said and her attitude towards the United States. We’ll just come over there.”
“Whaaaa? Tell him to suck it up.”
I laughed. She knows better than that. He’s even more stubborn than me.
“Alright. I’ll tell them. I don’t know what I’ll tell them, but I’ll figure something out. ”
“Mom. You don’t have to tell them anything. I said I’d call back and let them know which day is better. I’ll just tell them we’re coming over there when I do. No big deal. Let me worry about it.”
I know my mother is going to say something. After all, he’s HER Golden Child.
She had to end the conversation asking if I’d been back to the doctor. She’s much more concerned about my Alopecia than I am. I reminded her (for the tenth time in as many conversations), that my next appointment is on the 28th. Then I broke the news.
“I had Mr. Hot clip it all off yesterday. “
Quick intake of breath.
“Why, do you think it’ll grow back faster?”
“No, I don’t think it’s going to grow back faster. It may not grow back at all. And I’m okay with that, but it looks better the way it is now than it did.”
Silence. And then:
“But have you gone out without your scarf yet?”
“No. but I will. I’m not going to hide behind this. I’m dealing with it the best way I know how - and I may as well get used to it.”
Unsaid was, “And you better, too. Because I’m not going to hide or be ashamed of something I have no control over.”
(Y’all. I’ve come a long fucking way in the past three weeks, don’t you think?)
Mr. Hot apologized for his behavior. He’s already said it’s okay if they come over. He just wants me to know where he’s coming from. I already know where he’s coming from. He’s completely right and within his rights to let his feelings be known. (He probably could have done it in a more, um, tactful manner…but tact is not necessarily his strong suit. Love and forgiveness is though - so y’know…we get along just fine.)
I’m going to give it a day before I call back. He may change his mind again. Snirk.
So, stay tuned. I’m sure there’s going to be blog fodder whatever happens.
—- For those of you who were wondering. None of the three (24, Shortman or the dog) realized that Mr. Hot shaved his beard. In fact, when he told Shortman, “You didn’t notice I shaved my beard off.” Shortman replied, “You didn’t have a beard.” Poor Mr. Hot. He’s now convinced that no one notices him. —-
—- Oh, and I promise I’ll stop talking about my bald head one of these days. —-
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WOW to this entire post. I can’t even pick one thing in particular to comment on, other than I hope the dinner goes smoothly for both your sister-in-law AND your mother! Moms & daughters can sure have baggage-laden moments, can’t we?! Sheesh…. and poor Mr. Hot w/ the beardless face! Man, have a drink, sister (and thanks for the recipe!!!)
xo
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..Whether it’s “snack” or “sack” is debatable; what’s certain is that it’s extraordinary
Your mom and my grandmother would get along well. On several things.
I would say more, but someone would have to kill me right afterwards… (And I adore my grandmother, but like us all, she has her hang-ups. And two of them sound exactly like your mom.)
RC’s last blog post..On hold - an hour and a half and counting?
Oh man, family can be so difficult. I think you are completely within rights to deny yourself their company when they’re toxic, though.
I KNEW no one would notice Mr. Hot shaving.
melissa’s last blog post..Flashback Friday: The Smellomatic Version
Shouldn’t Mr. Hot shave his head, too? Just to keep you company?
suburbancorrespondent’s last blog post..Weekly Wrap-Up
Holy crap! NO ONE noticed?!? That’s sad.
I hope the visit with the Golden Child(ren) goes well.
AmyM’s last blog post..The Downward Spiral Story, Part 2
Wow, Mrs. Golden Child sounds like a really nice person. Not. But, that is the kind of person I’d love to meet just so I could bring her down. Repeatedly. If I were closer, I’d be happy to come and have Mr. Hot’s back. (In a completely platonic way, of course.)
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..I don’t think this Harry Potter obsession is ending any time soon.
Family members can be so difficult. Dear Hubby has an aunt that is that way, and it finally got to the point where I got tired of all the knives in my back, and I now refuse to spend any time with her. Period.
I would never try to make Hubby stay away from anyone in his family, and have told him that he is free to go see her any time he wants, but that I will NOT go.
But he says he has reached the point where he is tired of her attitude also, and he pretty much avoids her. There are times we do have to run into her, of course, but I try to keep those times to a minimum, and make them as short as possible.
Good luck, Ree!
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..24 Years Ago . . . (pt. 4)
I hope the visit goes okay. It is so hard, I know, to feel caught between the rock and hard place of difficult family and reluctant (reasonably so) spouse.
I’m very sorry, too, that I’ve been so busy with work for the last week that I have gotten behind in reading all the blogs I love, so I wasn’t here to leave a “You Go GIRL!” comment on your head shaving post. I love that you did that and are rocking the scarves, though. You are beautiful. I can’t wait to meet you on Aug 1. Truly.
MommyTime’s last blog post..Do You Blog Rush? Should You? Should I?
Oooh - when outlaws collide!! Know that one. And yes, no matter how much you say “on my own head be it” the mother feels the need to placate and THAT is when the proverbial hits the fan.
jeanie’s last blog post..The Ten Minute Timer
I know that Mr Hot had to be totally offended, but…damn, that Shortman is ONE FUNNY BOY CHILD! (Didn’t have a beard…ROFLMAO…how hilarious!)
OMG, I don’t think that you SIL and I would get along either. No one, and I do mean no one, knows it all. Well, except, of course, me.
And my way is the best way, the only way, the be-all-and-end-all way. Etc. Etc. Ummmm…yeah, that’s right, I said it. LOL
When you say: “So anyway….” in one of your posts, it just cracks me up. That makes your posts feel like we’re just sitting on the couch, having one of those great meandering conversations between friends.
And cheers to you on shaving your head! Both my mom and I are going through hair loss (which I won’t go into here) but I feel your pain, and I totally applaud your willingness to blog about it.
Snap - well, sort of… in reverse… ish.
I can’t stand J’s oldest-younger brother. Lets just say he said some things while I was pregnant with Zack that can never be resolved.
Aaand guess who’s going to be dropping by next week? You guessed it! I’m actually tempted to go out so I don’t have to see him. Why should I feel uncomfortable in my own house anyway? It’ll give me a chance to get out for a while anyway…
Ahem, sorry… back on track… good luck with the visit next week, wherever it takes place!
Marylin’s last blog post..Weekly Winners #27
None of them noticed? At ALL?
(Heh, I have a tendency to respond to things backwards)
Good luck with the dinner, does sound blogworthy no matter what happens though! And purple and green is fine and easy.
Veronica’s last blog post..Snippets.
I wonder if your SIL and My SIL are one and the same because my SIL is a nutter who thinks she’s always right no matter what and gets royally pissed off when you contradict her. I should share my PT Cruiser story. Ok I will.
I was driving around with SIL when I saw a PT Cruiser for the first time - Wow! What a neat car! She went off the rails: Bang and she’s off - saying how every time she saw a PT Cruiser she felt sick because they were Nazi cars. Every time she saw one she could only think of the skeletal people in concentration camps.
I was thinking…weird. It’s a Chrysler. So I said that it didn’t sound right about the PT Cruiser because Hilter had Porsche create the VW Bug as the car for Germany during WWII. So really it’s the Bug that should make her sick. Not the Cruiser. Well now, She went mental; shouting, hitting the steering wheel and then told me she refused to discuss it any further.
I went home, researched extensively and presented her with a 10 page report about the origins of the PT Cruiser vs the VW Bug. Because: I am a VW Bug fanatic. So I knew she was wrong on many many levels but she uses her flaming temper to cause folks to back down. I’m not one for backing down, not for good. I’ll step back and then try again. My brother intercepted the report and didn’t show her because wanted it dropped (He didn’t want to listen to his (new at the time) wife going on about it again and asked me to not wind her up any more.
I did. But really…let’s share.
How sad for Mr. Hot that his own son didn’t know he’d had a beard! That just shows Mr. Hot needs to kiss the boy more often. No one forgets a bearded kiss.
Lyvvie’s last blog post..Annoyance!
Mr. Hot should shave his head and see if anyone notices! It could be in solidarity. I too have banned my SIL (Sam’s sister) from our home. Too much drama and I choose to not be a part of it. Sam agrees (actually he banned her first) and life is much calmer. You know, except for going to jail and getting evicted, little stuff like that.
Shania’s last blog post..A deconstruction of the implications of lifestyle choices on the future of the world
I think people with a bad attitude about the United States should be shipped overseas. We could drop bitch-who-killed-Christmas in a jungle and see how long she could survive since the US is so ‘horrible’.
Maybe that was a little harsh, but people don’t realize how good we have it (for the most part) over here.
And do you rock the bald look like GI Jane?
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Don’t judge me b/c I dress my dog up.
Awesome on the trimming! It has it’s perks, bald-ness that is. You do lose heat out of your head however when a nice breeze comes about outside - it gets cooled off quicker. Hubby is a baldy! I love it.
I hate to say it but some family members just SUCK! Hubby and I kind of avoid the Brother and SIL b/c they are just freaking annoying on so many levels. GL no matter what happens and what doesn’t happen.
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..A Couple of Things
Ah, men and their beards. We have exactly the same issue here - when are they going to realize no one DOES notice, lol! Can’t wait to hear about the sil adventures. (Thank God for blogging, huh? Gives you something to do with all the ick in life!)
Madmad’s last blog post..A knitter packs for a week at the beach
Heehee! I love that Shortman thought he never had a beard. That’s great. Kids never notice their parents - doesn’t Mr. Hot know that? And good luck getting together with the Golden’s. They sound hard to take.
Shelly’s last blog post..Odds and Ends
Oh! And! I got the book! Thanks so much!
Shelly’s last blog post..Odds and Ends
That is too funny that Shortman didn’t even know he had a beard!
Sorry about the family drama! I’m right there with you! And we always just suck it up because unfortunately, we didn’t get to choose our family.
Kristabella’s last blog post..The Sky Is Falling
My BIL shaves his beard/goatee/mustache all of the time and then regrows it ….. I’ve been guilty of saying “did you shave?” when he hasn’t and not noticing when he has.
As for “Out Laws” - I’ve got an ex SIL I DO NOT MISS.
Jenny’s last blog post..Mute Monday - SCIEN(CE)TISTS
Oh, I feel your pain, hon–I think nobody doesn’t have (double negative, ha!) someone “difficult” in their family. Congrats to clipping the frizzy rest of the hair off. Yeah, so, other folks have to get used to it, but hey, it’s not much different, really, than going from brunette to blonde or from long to short …
And “The Golden Child”? WTF, dude?
charlotte’s last blog post..Pathologically overprepared
Ha! I think I said NONE of them! Sorry about the family “issues”, not fun.
Fannie’s last blog post..Overheard
I’ll bet you look absolutely stunning. Hair is so freaking overrated. Now, killer shoes? THOSE are necessary.
I have been trying to figure out what to say for two days now. None of it sounds good at all.
I was bopping along, thinking about my own IL’s when I got to “Have you gone out yet…”
My little sister had Lymphoma last year, and had two very bad hair days where she cut her hair very short, then shaved it down. (I’ve talked a little about it on my blog.)
The first time she went out without her hat was the bravest thing I had ever seen. When she appeared in front of almost every woman we’re ever known at my baby shower, I was in awe of her.
Hair is a touchy subject for women, no matter the reason for it’s loss. The point of all this rambling, if it has one, is just to say your post struck a deep chord with me.
And that super short or no hair at all is the perfect excuse for fabulous new lipgloss. At least that’s what I hear….
TheMama’s last blog post..Untitled Tuesday, Week Four
I’m SO glad Mr Hyphen has no siblings. That way we only have to deal with my wingnut brother.
Yay for coming to peace with your hair. I would have been that person who showed up without telling anybody I’d shaved it, just to see the shock on their face. I’m funny like that.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..How to Make Feta Cheese at Home–12 Simple Steps