Jul 21 2008
Mah inteligenz. Let me tellz u.
The pretty new washer has been delivered. Funny thing though. After the Sears delivery guys were through carrying out the broken one and carrying in the improved version (and they hooked everything up, too!) - they handed Mr. Hot a bag of bolts.
Really big bolts.
They told him that they were the “stabilizing bolts” that should be used in case we ever need to move Washer Version 2.0.
Move? As in from one house to another? ……………… Huh.
Well fuck a duck and make him quack. No one gave us any bolts when we bought Version 1.0. in 2002. And we moved that sucker twice. Y’know what y’all? The bolts stabilize the washer drum. And it was the washer drum that broke last week. Hmmmmm. Methinks maybe the washer would have lasted longer if someone had given.us.the.stupid.bolts. the first time!
I’m smart that way. Cause and Effect. I see it.
I am not, however, all that intelligent in the way of volunteering for projects. Like the process development team I bitched about here? Last week, while I was in Chicago, I spent 12 hours over two days trapped in a conference room with these people. Face-to-face.
They didn’t even supply coffee or chocolate. Seriously. Like they expected me to be able to think?
We went through this process with a fine toothed comb. Turned it upside down and rightside out. We ripped it to pieces and put it back together. We made it black and white, then gray, then pretty pastel colors. (Puke. I changed it back to gray.)
Today, I got an email invitation to two more meetings with this group. The first is from 10 a-freakin’-m to 6 you’ve-got-to-be-shitting-me p.m. Tomorrow. The next one? Wednesday from 9:30 (yes!!!! in the morning) to 6. AGAIN.
I’m not going to Chicago for those though. I’m going to sit right here in my office (which you can check out at Blissfully Domestic in my “Working from Home” articles - Part 1 and Part 2) with my own coffee and chocolate stash. I’m going to put my phone on mute and make snide comments and rude sounds when someone says something I don’t like. I’ll probably repeatedly (and then again for good measure) flip them the bird.
Cause and effect? Volunteer = Work your ass off and get no chocolate. (for me) Cause and effect for them? Piss off Hotfessional = being blogged about in disparaging manner.
But right this very instant, I’m going to go get ready to meet Sonia Sunshine and Nancy for dinner. We’re going to make Nancy tell us all about BlogHer and hope that she doesn’t fall asleep in her hummus.
—- And if they talk me into it, you may get pictures of me pretending to be Demi Moore. —-
HOT LOVE
Right now.. I’m counting the hours.. and trying not to. Honestly, I love my in-laws.. but 22 days of in laws… LIVING HERE… Oh my!
They leave in the morning. I’m trying to look suitably “I’m sooo going to miss you all.”
Give me pictures…. I wanna see you being Demi!
Beth from the Funny Farm’s last blog post..The Good Things in Life
I didn’t know that you had volunteered to help with that project.
Hmmm.
Now why would you go and do a thing like that?
barbra’s last blog post..This one will be shorter, I promise
Fantastic posting. You almost made me spill my hot beverage! I seriously want a webcam recording of you in this meeting.
Solomon’s last blog post..The “Things I’m Grateful For” July contest - NOW RUNNING!!
Have fun at dinner! I’m sure Nancy is ready to pass out. I know I am!
Kristabella’s last blog post..The Sky Is Falling
Can you conference call us in and we can make snide and rude remarks with you!?
Dingo’s last blog post..Go Find The Funny Caption Contest Results!
Just make sure your mute button is working properly. I am sure none of us want to find a post about a malfunction…. or then again… maybe we do. It would make for some seriously humorous blog fodder!
flutterby’s last blog post..Her Boyfriend’s Back… and Other Random Yammerings
Good luck with the new washer. Washer 3.0 is holding strong so far, here… Yes, stabilizing bolts are important.
Just make certain your mute is actually on when you think it is. I’ve been in meetings where people have thought they couldn’t be heard…
RC’s last blog post..Hanging up
When I sit through awful meetings in the comfort of my home office, I usually play computer games.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..The Tooth Fairy needs a second job
THOSE would be photos I’d like to see!
Good luck with the washer. That’s a pretty essential appliance in my world of wet-the-bed-boys.
melissa’s last blog post..Spy Games, Blogger Style
I prefer teleconferences, where I can just sit in the comfort of my own office, listen in, play computer Solitaire, or whatever . . . usually they are so BORING I have to do something just to stay awake!
And, my office is where I keep my chocolate stash . . .
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..24 Years Ago . . . (pt. 4)
Myself and three co-workers were in on a conference call not long ago and we had to mute it because we kept on laughing… hence then we could make the snide comments and rude sounds at everyone else. It was fun.
Fishing Around’s last blog post..Red High Heels
I really didn’t know that about washing machines - the bolt thing, that is. That’s a useful piece of information, should I ever have to move my (ancient, extra-large) washer.
Have fun at dinner
Nicole’s last blog post..Use Sunscreen
Dinner will be a RIOT, Nancy will be laughing so much that she won’t be able to pass out.
Love the equation of unhappy Hotfessional! I totally agree!! Plus that is a bit of late notice - DONKEY BALLS!!
I hope you just have FUN with pictures.
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..A Couple of Things
We’ve never been given, nor used, bolts like that. Now I’m worried that one day our washing machine will go KAPUT. So … thanks for that. As if I need one more thing to worry about.
moo’s last blog post..a true story
Whoo hoo! Go Demi! (Just make sure your mute button works. Remind me to tell you a good story sometime.)
The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..And then I became Canadian….and it didn’t even involve alcohol!
Wahhhh I can’t comment as much as before, since my new internet filter at work categorizes your blog as “adult language” and wont let me in! I miss reading your hijinks, but working 10 hours a day is making for a really early bedtime.
pisceshanna’s last blog post..Quote Correction
I LOVE listening to meetings on mute and making snarky comments! I have yet to flip the bird though … I will have to try that.
Swishy’s last blog post..Media mish-mosh
I HATE Sears. I won’t even buy a pair of underwear there…
We had a front loader we bought there a few years ago. After one complete swap, it kept breaking (also the drum!!!), and every time they came out they charged me. Ugh.
Last year, drum bummed again. Sears wanted to charge me AGAIIN to come out. This time I hauled that piece of Sears shit out on the curb and bought a cheap top loader instead.
There.
Goddess in the Groove’s last blog post..The Gypsy in me….in Goddess form
You know what is odd, we have moved our washer 3 times and never once have we used the stabilizing rod (yes, ours came with a big, fat rod that you shove through the bottom of it to keep the drum from breaking.) I am not even certain that I can tell you where the rod is at. Hell, I probably threw it out after move #2. We haven’t, knock on wood, had any problems as of yet.
My best friend, on the other hand, has used her rod every single time they have moved. And her washer leaks and eats her clothing.
Go figure.
LOL
(Sorry about the sucky-ass meetings. Hope dinner went well.
)
You’ll take pictures of dinner friends!
Lyvvie’s last blog post..SBD Private Arrangements by Sherry Thomas
I live in fear that someday I will think I have the mute button on during a conference call when I really don’t. And then someone will know what I really think.
Shelly’s last blog post..Odds and Ends
AS and I watched a DVD about the moving service I’m using and it went over the washing machine bolts in detail…
Although, we just laughed, “Hahaha, some people actually OWN appliances” and fast forwarded.
Laurel’s last blog post..Whip It Up #3: Crispy Scallion and Asiago Potato Pancakes
Corporate America and no coffee and chocolate? No snacks for an entire day! Heavens, the Matron has done some “ideations” for advertising and she sets her fine self in front of a FEAST for her four hour stint. She even got water and raisins while interviewing candidates for a job at a community college
Minnesota Matron’s last blog post..The Matron’s Man
While I hate and despise conference calls with a white hot intensity, and the thought of having to sit through one all day would make me slit my wrists, I can honestly say that it would be preferable to going to Chicago and being forced into an all day meeting. Lesser of two evils.
Make sure you are either in comfy PJ’s or completely naked.
Have plenty of caffeine handy.
As soon as the clock says…ooooh, let’s say 4:00 make yourself a cocktail and play a drinking game where every time you are tempted to shoot them the bird you down the drink. This will enable the meeting to go faster.
Afterward, draw yourself a bath and lie down in it and make toasts to each and every one of them with your drink. (which, of course, must go to the bath with you)
Good luck!
OH! and lastly, never ever again volunteer for any of this shit.
Krissa’s last blog post..F.L. A bit worse than a U.P. (Unscheduled Poop)
OK..I’m not going back to the point of when I left for vacation..cause you blog too much and it’s taking me FOREVER to get caught up on my blog reading.
2 pregnancies…cancer…jail…this is the type of stuff I’m coming back to …please have nothing TOO exciting..OK?
New washer..yeah…
mp’s last blog post..Prayer - Good Wishes Request PLEASE