Jul 27 2008
Track Meet(ing)
Yesterday morning, Mr. Hot woke me up at 7:30. In the morning. On a Saturday. To go run at the track. (You’re either suitably impressed or thinking to yourself, “The Hotfessional has completely lost whatever little bit of sanity she had remaining.”) When we arrived, there was a man walking around with hand weights. We stretched and got ready to do our warm up lap, loving the slight breeze that was blowing.
Then we heard the Walker yelling. And saw him making all kinds of gestures. Pointing and shaking his index finger as if the invisible companion on his left needed straightening out. He was certainly upset, and I feared that he was going to drop dead of apoplexy, or do bodily harm to his partner (wherever that partner’s body was).
This went on for half a lap. Walker was quiet… walking along… but his body language showed continued agitation. Just as we rounded the turn to start running, we heard Walker again go off on his invisible companion. He was gesticulating wildly. Flailing his weight laden arms and shouting, “No, up! Up!”
Mr. Hot and I didn’t know if we should hang back in case we were to, y’know, run over Walker’s partner, or run like the devil was on our heels to get as far away from him as we could. But Walker was between us and the car. And we were only on lap 2.
As we got closer, I heard Mr. Hot whimper, “I’m scared.” I said, “Me, too. But we can take him.” “What about the guy he’s talking to?” We gave each other’s hands a quick squeeze and increased our pace slightly.
With each footfall, we got closer. Walker was still talking. He was still pointing and flapping his hands. It was obvious that whatever he wanted to go “up” was still having problems, but the rest of his words were mumbled and incoherent. Maybe he wouldn’t notice us with his attention focused elsewhere.
I just hoped that if the invisible companion decided to swerve into my lane (or was already in my lane) that I could go through him/her. It would be terrible if all of the ghost stories I’d read were wrong and they were transparent but solid as a brick wall. I could see myself bouncing backwards onto the hard asphalt and scraping up my ass. Which would have been a real shame because y’know, sitting on it to read blogs and drink vodka all weekend would be fuckin’ painful.
Closer. A glimpse at Mr. Hot. He lifted up his chin, whispered, “Let’s go” and kicked it up another notch. I nodded slightly. Closer. Oh mah holy hell y’all.
Closer. I adjusted my ballcap and vowed to keep my eyes straight ahead.
Closer. Deep breath and……
……then, of course, we saw it.
The bluetooth stuck in Walker’s ear.
—- This is why we should leave our glasses on when we run. —-
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Oh my! I am thinking that’s why people shouldn’t be allowed to wear those silly ear roaches… I don’t get out much, but it’s amazing how many times I have thought someone was talking to me just because they were standing right next to me and no one else was around and then it gets hinky and I start getting offended by what they are saying because , Hey! You don’t know me!
Mostly I’m just glad your ass was spared.
Krissa’s last blog post..Oh for Gawd’s sake just amputate it and shut up about it?.
This means nothing–I’ve seen crazies talking into dead cell phones, and he may very well have been using the bluetooth as protection from aliens. Just in case this situation ever comes up again, you guys should practice a move where you blind Walker with your pretty hat, while Mr. Hot steals the weights from his hands and uses them to pummel him upside the head.
Because, you never know.
he was crazy. the walker had no tin foil on his head so you both were safe.
Obi-son’s last blog post..Free Mammogram
There is a buggy/cart collector at the Meijers by my house that talks and shakes his finger at :::nobody::: all the time.
He scares the be-jebus out of me, and I feel sorry for him all at the same time. Maybe I should get him a bluetooth to wear.
Nancy’s last blog post..I left my heallllll-th ….
Oh dear. Is that what I look like? Maybe I should stick to speakerphone? And I admire your fortitude, getting up and going to the track. I can barely go to the coffee pot.
Shania’s last blog post..Proof that your haircut sucks
That’s a crack up! You’d think we’d be used to this by now, since those ear thingys have been around for quite a while. But I still always assume it’s a crazy person talking to themselves.
Here in California I’ve seen a new trend. Even though it’s a law now that you have to use the ear thingy while driving, I see people all the time holding onto the phone even though they’ve got the ear piece in. What part of “Hands Free” did they not understand? Or even more fun, they’re texting. On the freeway! Crazy people I tells ya!
Ha ha ha … that bluetooth ALWAYS get me.
Although, I have to say, I have my share of crazy people at the track, so I don’t blame you
Swishy’s last blog post..My boring week
That is hysterical! I can just imagine you two plotting how to handle the crazy guy in your ‘hood!!! Ha hahahahaha
melissa’s last blog post..I scream, you scream, we all scream…
I experience this at the grocery store all the time–thinking people are off their freakin’ rockers with big, elaborate stories and gestures. And then I see the bluetooth in their ear. And I always wonder if they don’t feel a bit weird with their one-sided conversations… but apparently not.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Tidbits and Where I’ll Be Until Next Week
Ok. I laughed a that.
If running and not wearing your glasses produces tales like that one, please, carry on what you’re doing
Nicole’s last blog post..Convert
And that’s why I hate Bluetooths. (Blueteeth?)
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..6 random things with a twist
Oh GAWD I HATE people who wear those things out in public!!! They just have no concept how STUPID they look *Talking to themselves*. Not to mention the incredibly stupid dumbass airhead twit who annoyed the crap out of me and everyone else in the grocery store one day doing her shopping WHILE TALKING TO HER HUBBY THE WHOLE TIME. ALLLL around the store, telling him what she was looking at and did he want *this* or *that* and reading labels to him and OHMYHOLYF’ingGAWD I wanted to yank that stupid thing off her ear and stomp it into the floor.
flutterby’s last blog post..A Me-Me-Meme and Some Random Yammering
LMAO! Thanks I needed that. Granted there are times that I hate to use the damn thing but sometimes it is just more convenient!
Wbppsh7’s last blog post..Holy Cow
Ya know, I’m sure that the Walker was also on his bluetooth complaining about how these two people were weaving all over the track. “It’s as if they couldn’t see the lines!” Maybe wearing your glasses when you run isn’t such a bad thing?
Dingo’s last blog post..Geckos Ruined My Life
Bwahahaha!
But who exercises with a blue tooth in their ear?
You two are two peas in a pod!
Kristabella’s last blog post..DINAO Round 10 - The Culinary Edition
LOL! I love those things. I laugh and laugh at how those folks look like they’re talking to themselves.
Shelly’s last blog post..Monday Morning You Sure Look Fine
you know how many times i’ve been jumped out of my skin when standing quietly next to someone in a quiet mellow grocery aisle and all of a sudden they respond out loud to something funny. next time it happens i will scream at that person, bc it is rude and annoying.
Damn those things! I hate when I see someone blabbing to themselves and I can’t even see the thing in their ear. It’s just… weird.
claire’s last blog post..Days 101-104 - x365
ROFL, of all the likely endings, I didn’t see that one coming. I’ve been fooled before, though, by people talking to their ears. It’s a freaky world we live in.
Candy’s last blog post..Checking Up On The Girls
Oh, LMAO! Too Funny! I probably would have been freaking out too (either that or to busy talking to myself to notice that someone else appeared to be talking to themself as well. LOL)
Oh that is too funny. Thanks for the laugh - I needed it!
louannmcc’s last blog post..Because a night at the park is not a night at the park without an inflatable penis
I hate the ear roaches but they are a fact of life *sigh*. What cracks me up is the people up in the club wearing them. You can’t hear the phone anyways over the speaker - so why try to act like a player.
Of course it’s the doofy guy wearing the ear roach trying to act like he’s all that.
Lys’s last blog post..Never Fails…
Ha! I hate when someone is either walking or standing beside me and they start talking. I assume they are talking to me and I say hello back, only to find out they are talking to thin air. It creeps me out.
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