Sep 07 2008
This is a Rant
This is one of those rants that make me grateful I have this blog. This is one of those rants that makes me really grateful that Mr. Hot doesn’t read what I have to write. There are times I’d like him to, because I am proud of what I’ve written, but then… there are days like this that I am so.very.glad that he lets this space be mine. All mine.
Can you stand a little history? (If you want the whole-entire-multi-part history, click here, but if you don’t have an extra 3 hours…just read on.) So, to say Mr. Hot and I aren’t close to his family would be an understatement. His mother is nice enough to me (now), but his relationship with her was never good. He has mentioned specific incidents that break my heart - I won’t repeat them here - but I guess, being the oldest of six (five of them in 7 years), and being the independent sort - there wasn’t enough attention to go around.
He got used to not being included unless it served someone else’s purpose.
When we first got married, and for years afterward, I tried to reach out to his parents and siblings. I sent birthday and Christmas cards. I made his mother a beautiful cross-stitch sampler of all of her grandchildren’s names and birthdates. I reached out to his closest sister and her children.
I got tired of it. Tired of spending time and money that was so obviously not appreciated or acknowledged. So, while I still send his Mom (his Dad died 4 years ago) Christmas gifts and pictures of Shortman, and all of his brothers and sisters get cards… we don’t speak on a regular basis.
(The sole exception is that his sister’s husband is my stockbroker. Now, it’s just fuckin’ depressing to talk to him.)
Okay, enough history, right? Assume that the only time we hear from them is when something bad happens.
As it was today. The thing is? This isn’t even where the rant comes in. This is normal. Standard Operating Procedure. Seventeen years of history. No Big Deal.
Mr. Hot’s sister (wife of the stockbroker - the one with whom he’s always been closest) called. After some chit-chat about football things, she broke the news that Mr. Hot’s youngest nephew (3? 4? See? We weren’t even told when this kid was born.) was diagnosed with neuroblastoma - a childhood cancer. Thank goodness, the cure rate for children with a Stage 2A neuroblastoma is over 90%. Chemotherapy has been scheduled and we have every hope that this little boy will get through this all just fine. As sad as it is - the doctors are encouraging, the statistics are encouraging, and he is under the best care available.
Of course, your good thoughts and prayers are gratefully accepted. My heart is breaking for this little boy’s parents, his grandparents, and all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins.
So, after we heard that awful news, 24 came home from wherever he was. Mr. Hot met him in the kitchen to tell him what was going on.
The response from 24?
Oh, yea. I talked to 20 yesterday morning and she told me.
He spoke with his sister? Mr. Hot’s daughter? And didn’t feel that it was important enough to tell us?
I know that the rest of the family thinks that we’re a bunch of uncaring, soulless heathens, but this kid lives in this house. He is supposedly a member of our family (or so Mr. Hot keeps reminding Shortman - who keeps giving up alone time with his father at sporting events - events 24 has absolutely NO interest in).
24 didn’t think that the fact that our youngest nephew was diagnosed with cancer was important enough to share. He was far more interested in going off to a rendezvous with whomever - wherever than to tell us that the youngest member of his family has cancer?
Am I wrong to be pissed off?
No, really, tell me. Tell me if I’m out of line, or expecting too much. Because right now, I can’t tell Mr. Hot how I feel about this kid because I know that once I open up - a bunch of emotionally-charged shit is going to pour out - and neither one of us need that right now.
—- This is your chance. Set the Hotfessional straight. Am I a bitchy stepmother who is looking for any excuse to be pissed off at this kid? or is he so completely immature and self-absorbed that when presented with news about a sick family member, he can’t take 5 minutes to tell his own father? And do I have the right to expect more from a 24 year old than that? —-
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I think you can anticipate what I might say about this. That 24 character should probably be smacked around a while, verbally and physically.
Maybe it’s all the special shampoo and super clean face he’s sporting that are clouding his judgement (what the heck is fenugreek doing in soap, anyway?).
Maybe he just needs to have his compass reoriented so that he can locate his head and pull it out of his ass.
He’s 24 for frak’s sake. Ummm, hi 24? OTHER PEOPLE ARE IMPORTANT. GROW THE FUCK UP.
(maybe the beating should be avoided, what with the serious penalties for hate crimes and all.)
Pamela’s last blog post..i r a slacker
Wow. First I’d be hurt. Then mad.
It says more about being 24, then who you are. And male. And newly “out” and fairly self absorbed. I have a few working for me right now, but it’s different when it’s family.
An act of omission is worse sometimes, and by not telling you BIG news, it’s almost as if he’s saying YOU don’t count. Bah!
I’m sorry. I’m glad the cure rate is so high for this poor child. If you can, conentrate on the healing and maybe that can help you heal from this.
OK, then I’d get MAD.
xoxo.
Jenny’s last blog post..MM - “B” is Saturday Morning on the “B”each.
He is so completely immature and self-absorbed that when presented with news about a sick family member, he can’t take 5 minutes to tell his own father
You DO have the right to expect more from a 24 year old than that.
I’d let him have it.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..A 6 Pack of PBR is Aluminum, right?
Now you have to remember that this is coming from someone who is not a parent.
24 is behaving more like he’s 16. Treat him like a 16 year old. Ground him.
Or you could just tell 24 that you were really hurt that he didn’t tell the the two of you and in the future should these things come up, you’d like to know.
Nicole’s last blog post..On the Canadian Election: PARTY TIME
Immature? Very much so. Self-absorbed? Absolutely. Does he need a good hard kick in the ass? YES, YES, YES!
I’m not even related to 24, and I’M madder than hell!
If you need any help, let me know - - My Silician heritage had made me one helluva asskicker . . .
If you need any help, let me know - - My Silician heritage had made me one helluva asskicker . . .
I will keep the little one in my thoughts and prayers, Ree. Keep us posted.
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..Very Important Update On My Other Blog
Totally self absorbed. Totally immature. It would take all my self control not to kick him in the ass.
Maybe you could talk to Mr Hot and see what his thoughts are. Give yourself sometime to calm down a bit first. I know I would go ape *hit if I did not give myself a few to calm down.
Jess’s last blog post..Who Wouldn’t Love a Free Trip to Disney
Sometimes, age 24 is entirely self-absorbed and he? Is entirely immature. And stoopid. He should have shut his piehole when you told him.
Sending healing to the wee one.
And big squishy hugs to you.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Pimpathon
You’ve said many times that 24 is living with y’all in order to to strengthen the bond between him and his father (and, I assume, him and you). Part of being a family and being a parent is demanding responsibility and accountability. Demanding this may make him mad at first, but I’m sure he’d like to feel how much y’all care.
So, if I were in your position, I’d first have a little talk with Mr. Hot. Talk about how disrespectful and childish 24 has been. Talk about how it makes you feel, and how it makes Shortman feel. And then I think y’all need to sit down with 24 and discuss what it means to be family, and what the expectations are. Personally, for me, I’d throw in something along the lines of “if you can’t follow these expectations, then you will be treated as a tenant, not family,” but that’s just my family’s style. Unless you voice your expectations and concerns, you won’t get what you want and need- and eventually it will turn ugly.
I hope the best for all of your family- your nephew, Mr. Hot, Shortman and 24. I’ll keep all of you in my thoughts- I hope your nephew has a speedy recovery and that things improve in your own home.
tutugirl1345’s last blog post..Cause we haven’t talked enough about it
I would be pissed, hurt, and pissed and hurt. BUT, aren’t all 24 year olds self-absorbed? That being said, and normally I wouldn’t offer this up but you asked, he needs to start acting like an adult. I think a talk with Mr. Hot is in order. Lay it all out on the table because really, keeping this in is not helping any of you. You get resentful, 24 gets to keep acting like he’s 14, and Mr. Hot, well Mr. Hot needs to take some responsibility as well.
Let me know if you need a posse. I’ve been wanting to come visit anyway.
Dingo’s last blog post..Outrageous! (NSFW)
A 24 year old male is definitely going to be immature and I don’t know how he was brought up so I don’t know if you should be expecting more from him or not. You would think and hope that most 24 year olds would be responsible enough to pass on that kind of information but it is far from true in many cases. I think you are right to be upset about it but since you don’t have a lot of contact with that side of the family then maybe he just didn’t feel it was a big deal. At least his sister did call to tell you. My prayers are with the entire family because it is so hard to see someone that young have to go through such serious treatment. My advice to you (now that I’ve got some years under my belt, because it would have been different and probably wrong ten years ago) is this: The 24-year old could have told you, but he didn’t. You have a right to be irked about that, BUT it’s not THAT big a deal in the big scheme of things. Certainly not worth pitting your relationship with your husband up against his relationship with his son. No matter how much of a jackass the kid is, your husband must love and care for him so don’t put him in a position where he feels he has to defend him. There is no reason for the two of you to fight over it as your husband cannot miraculously now change the kid into a thoughtful person. Hopefully that does happen with time and he becomes more thoughtful though. Sorry it’s not the advice you may have wanted, but I think it is the best in the long run, even though the thought of boxing him about the ears sounds good to me too.
Hang in there, Ree. These situations suck but you can get through it. Also, I hear kickboxing is great for relieving stress.
teeni’s last blog post..This Means War!
Ditto everything everyone before me said.
I suggest that you calmly talk with Mr. Hot. Then DEMAND that he have a come-to-Jesus talk with 24 about his piss poor communication skills.
Sending best wishes to you and the extended family.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Bucks
First off, I’m really sorry about your little nephew and will keep him & the whole family in my thoughts!
Ok, keep in mind that I’m 34 and don’t have children of my own. Use that knowledge about me and apply it to what I’m about to say however you wish.
When I was 22, I worked in my aunt’s (my dad’s sister’s) office for the summer. My grandfather was in the hospital for testing. My aunt & father were both at his bedside, for several days with everyone else in the family going about their daily lives (as was his want). Late one afternoon, the office secretary mentioned something about my grandfather being so ill, and I brushed her commentary off (because I try to keep a positive attitude and also because she was the office gossip) and kept rebutting with, “yes, but he’s resting comfortably, they’re doing what they can, why do you keep needling me about this?!”
Finally she blurted out, “Why weren’t you there when he died this morning, then?” It took me about 2.5 seconds to deduce that I’d just found out my grandfather died in a hospital 20 minutes away from where I was working– in my own aunt’s (his daughter’s!) office, a good 5 hours earlier and nobody in my entire family had thought to call me in that time. Nobody. Of course, I was in denial & didn’t believe her (because SURELY someone would have thought to call me, right?) so I called my sister, who confirmed it. Then I was crying and pissed off. Why didn’t anyone call me?
Turns out they all figured someone else had already broken the news to me, and while it sucks to be the last to know devastating news about a loved one’s health, and while I agree with everyone else who suggested you talk to Mr. Hot and then explain that the news is devastating and it’s hurtful he didn’t think to share the news with you; perhaps…. perhaps…. perhaps…. it simply hadn’t occurred to him that you guys weren’t in that loop.
Respectfully, I wouldn’t chalk it up as other people have suggested, as 24 thinking that you guys don’t count. Sure, at 24 (and newly “out”) he is probably going through some self-absorption issues (seriously, didn’t we ALL at that age?), but that’s beside the point.
If he’s from the side of the family that didn’t respond to your earlier efforts of reaching out to them, he’s learned from them a limited way of communication IN GENERAL.
Don’t let your feelings on this fester, though. This is your family unit’s (24 included, as you mentioned) communication tipping point, and I know you can all move forward from it! You’re all still adjusting to having him in the house to begin with. I’d talk to Mr. Hot and hopefully the lines of communication in the Hot household will open up even further. It’s going to get better! Sending you lots of positive mojo!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..“Weed apple dweed appledeeeee, skeet apple dweed appledeee-eeeee”
Honestly, having a 24 myself, he probably just didn’t think about it. OR she may have told him that SIL was going to call. Self absorbed? Certainly. Malicious? Probably not. Not that any of that changes how it made you feel. I’d ask him why he didn’t pass on the info and take it from there.
Shania’s last blog post..Let’s have a bit of humor, shall we?
Hmm damn shame. A little kid has cancer, is family and 24 doesnt think that is important enough to tell you guys? what the fuck man?! First is shows 24 doesnt give 2 cents about it. Second i’d be pissed having to find out 2nd hand. Third i’d give 24 the hand. plam side of love, back side of hate. Love, hate, love, hate, hate, love, love,love, hate, hate, love,hate,love,hate.
Yeah you should be pissed off. I life is precious weather a baby,young person or an old person. The stress of any family that goes threw something like that is great. to not have everyone’s concerns and thoughts guided to the little one for well wishes doesnt help. i’d would have to ask why he didnt tell you both.
Obi-son’s last blog post..No water..
Oh and my prayers go out to them and the little one also
Obi-son’s last blog post..No water..
Ay-yay-yay, what a jerk. That said… I am extremely glad people don’t hold against me all the awful things I did at 24… Actually, you know, 13-28, hahahaha! But seriously, people are just plain ol’ stupid at 24. I mean, not anyone reading this blog, ahem, but everyone else.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your little nephew. Keep us updated on his progress!
Madmad’s last blog post..I really, really need a job
I concur with all of the above.
Mr. Hot needs to have a father to son talk with him on what is expected as far as his behavior while under your roof. Seems everyone walks egg shells around him. He’s a son too … should be treated like and have expectations like The Shortman.
Ree, you are put between the rock and hard spot … so Mr. Hot needs to step up to the plate.
Nancy’s last blog post..Those Tickets Had My Name on Them
Yes. That’s pretty rough. And not fair at all. Call them on it. And good luck.
melissa’s last blog post..The other F word
Urgh. Not easy.
It’s dysfunctional, but just because dysfunction is the order of the day does not mean it should continue in perpetuity.
When little sis was diagnosed, we pretty much set the eastern seaboard’s phone lines on fire. And she was not a little kid.
It may be what he’s used to, but I agree that his father needs to tell him that’s not how the rest of the planet functions.
Hello, how was your day? Did you see the sky is falling?
THIS is why you need karate. You get to beat people up on a regular basis. ;D
You know, this is sort of a MAN thing. My spouse has been known on several occasions to forget to give me news like this. One time my best friend’s daughter was in the ER from nearly drowning and the dude FORGOT TO TELL ME. Sigh. FORGOT TO TELL ME. I had been in shower or outside or something. She calls back like two hours later and said “I thought you’d be here.” To which I replied: “Where?” Um yeah.
IMHO, 24 is incredibly immature and self centered though. That kid needs to learn how to function in a family.
imhelendt’s last blog post..Verbal Sparring
*hugs* that’s all….just hugs and…vodka.
Carrie’s last blog post..A funny letter….with a poignant view on Love.
*hugz* Ree - first of all, I had to go “OH NO” because I’m beyond familiar with Neuroblastoma and the hell it can cause. One of my best friends passed from that when she was diagnosed at 19. The best I can say is that it is treatable at that stage and they have made GREAT strides since when I first learned about it. Neuroblastoma is a cause dear to my heart so if you have any fundraisers, etc., just let me know and you know I’ll help.
Now - 24. What can I say that HASN’T been said outside of if I was near him, I’d smack him upside the head. How self absorbed can one be that you don’t think its important? I concur with the consensus that Mr. Hot is going to need to have a come to Jesus chat with 24.
My thoughts are with you guys - and again, if you need anything, just let me know!
Lys’s last blog post..Oh Hell To The No…
While I agree that yes, 24 should have passed on the info and yes, he is entirely self-absorbed and playing to family form - you KNOW getting upset at him is going to do 2 things.
1. Get you all het up; and
2. have exactly zero per cent impact on him.
He, of course, will play to the family form on the above and assume if he follows that strategy, eventually you will just do 1. and forget about 2. because it is a proven strategy for several generations of his family, why ruin a winning formula?
You are dealing with a whole different issue than 24’s reaction to the latest, but he is the most identifiable target no doubt.
I don’t know the full background (and your link goes to a dead page - there is an extra http.com in the middle stuffing it) but why didn’t 20 call her father and let him know?
jeanie’s last blog post..On frogs, on being fat; on being a judgemental hag mother and on the 8th of the 9th, 98
You know, I really feel fortunate, because my kids never exhibited such crappy behavior at that age.
First, I wouldn’t do anything until you cool down. Once that happens, it’s time to ask 24, with your husband present and with you, WHY he didn’t feel the need to pass along such important family information to you two, especially about something as important as that information.
Whatever his answer, stress that you feel that he should have talked with you two about that news, and in the future, you would like him to be more considerate of you, his parent/step-parents.
And if that doesn’t work, change the locks.
Coast Rat’s last blog post..HURRICANE SEASON UPDATE: MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST
Erf! We have similar issues in our household. My boyfriend’s kids (thus my step kids) treat me like I’m invisible, and are now actually starting to treat their father the same way. I blame their evil mother, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.
So, I feel your pain. I wish I had an answer for you, but I’m struggling with that myself. All I can say is, I’m on your side! Big Hugs and good luck!
You could be ticked, but we have similar things that happen on this end - and we are the bad guys for not reading minds and showing up at events (where we haven’t been invited, but they are positive someone would have told us about it and of course we are invited), sending sympathies/comfort (again, someone should have told us - we usually hear about it from his mom or one sister a few weeks later), or anything like that.
I would just chalk it up to a self-absorbed 24-year-old. And, actually, I have some other thoughts on how he is acting, but we can talk via email if you want to know them…
RC’s last blog post..Memory of Trees
I’m a stepmom too, and based on my experience I would combine the advice offered by teeny with that offered by Coast Rat.
Best wishes to all of you and lots of prayers being sent up for your little nephew.
Tina’s last blog post..Drunk blogging from a pig roast in a hurricane…
I agree with Nicole and Shania. I think you should briefly let him know that it hurt you and when something important comes up in the future, could he please let you know. But I don’t think a huge deal needs to be made of it.
Pick. Your. Battles.
Having gone through the “coming out” process, and also having been 24, both of them together equals a great big fat insensitivity. He didn’t tell you about it because he didn’t think about it himself longer than one second and then his mind was back to (insert something that newly out gay guys think about).
Damn.
Shit.
Damn.
Hell.
I’m in shock. You’ve read, you know. I can’t imagine.
hell yes. You have every right to be hurt. Angry, mad, hurt, upset. yes.
For y’all to be left out of this, to be excluded. Of course you’re mad and hurt.
I’m shocked that 24 left ya’ll out. Didn’t tell you, that’s self absorption, not looking beyond one’s own self.
I’m so sorry that anyone has to deal with this. It is heartbreaking.
Peace and love and blessings.
rachel’s last blog post..Snickering Doodles for Mouthwatering Monday
Dude, 24’s world revolves around himself. And maybe around C (or B?). How can you expect him to think about other people?
No, really. My husband’s daughter (at 25) would do the same thing.
You can tell him you’re disappointed at his social skills and that he’s a f***ing moron, but that won’t change anything; it’ll just make him shrug his shoulders and flip you off (mentally or physically). So, let it go with something like “I would have expected a bit more from you in the way of sharing … but then, not that much, really. Next time, please share such important information.” Case closed.
Instead, think about how you can involve him in helping the little kid–perhaps help with a garage sale or something like that?
charlotte’s last blog post..From an erstwhile community organizer …
Yikes. Yes you are definitely right to expect more than that from him. I don’t exactly get along with my parents, but I surely would tell them that a family member was seriously ill.
Mr Hot could do with having a man to man talk with him.
Solomon@ThingsI’mGratefulFor’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Sunday 7 September
Wow. Most definitely he should have said something. Cancer is a VERY big deal, especially in a young child. He sounds like a self absorbed, inconsiderate adult (using the term loosely) who no doubt feels entitled to live in your house rent free because of all the “hardships” placed upon him during his childhood. None of us get the perfect life, but we all make the best out of what we’ve got if we want a prayer of being successful in this life. After I slapped him upside the head, I’d want him to do some sort of community service in a children’s hospital so he can (hopefully) appreciate the full impact of what this family is going through.
I think if a 24 yo had a choice of telling his parents some bad news that isn’t his, or getting his dick sucked, he is going to choose his penis. Every. Single. Time.
Veronica’s last blog post..Astounded
I’m going with Teeny’s reply ~ even though I would want to shake him ’til he was cross-eyed!
Many prayers going up for the little one ~ any cancer is scary as hell to me, and he’ll need all the prayers he can get.
Kim’s last blog post..School Daze
Honestly? I reckon that 24 is just so caught up in his own life it just didn’t cross his mind to tell you. Not in a malicious way, just… that’s what the majority of guys my age (who don’t have a family themselves) would do… J still doesn’t mention things to me for ages, or until I find out from someone else. It’s not that he wants to keep me out of the ‘loop’, just that he hears it, then gets side-tracked, and moves on.
I do think that it would be a good idea to chat to him about thinking a bit more about others instead of just himself. Why should Shortman have to miss out for him, when (as you said) 24s not even interested. He’s moved into YOUR house, YOUR rules should apply, and in my opinion, you’ve already accomodated him many, many times over. Time to show who’s in charge so to speak?
Also… totally agree with what Veronica said^^.
Marylin’s last blog post..Ivy Girl
well, maybe (evidently) his mind dosn’t work that way, and he just forgot. He probably didn’t actually intentionally mean to be hurtful (is just bl**dy inconsiderate)
maybe have a quiet chat with him sometime when you’re not feeling stressed, to explain why it was hurtful to Mr Hot?
It’s not that you want him to spend all day talking to his dad, just that he could be a bit more communicative, and that you feel you’ve made every effort - as of course you would - to make him feel part of the family and welcome, and he needs to reciprocate a little?
personally? oh, I’d rant. every time
that’s what we’re here for as commentators after all, I see blogs kinda like virtual coffeemornings/mother’s meetings/gossipover the fence.
((Hugs))
mamacrow’s last blog post..Pink… Is my new obsession…
I’m hoping, for his sake, that 24 thought you guys were already in the loop. Because not sharing that info makes 24 fall squarely in the “You Suck” column. And, IMHO, it gives you the right to lock his self-absorbed ass in the dungeon. With spiders. But if he honestly thought y’all already knew, then his behavior is a little more forgivable.
And I pray your nephew flies through recovery and never has to deal with the Big C again.
Tuli’s last blog post..School days.
First, I’m sorry to hear about your nephew.
Second, my siblings were always forgetting to tell my parents stuff that they heard or knew. I don’t think they did it to be hurtful, it just didn’t occur to them to tell mom, who usually knew everything anyway. My family is pretty close, and my mom used to get all tore up when she didn’t know something right away. She used to always say “YOU DIDN’T THINK I MAY WANT TO KNOW THAT?!?!”
I wouldn’t take offense to it. He probably thought you guys already knew.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporch’s last blog post..Scene from a relationship- Love Style.
Sounds familiar. I have a stepbrother who I watched my Mom struggle to have a meaningful relationship with for years and years. They are getting there but it’s never going to be what she hoped for.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that instead of talking to Mr. Hot about this, you need to talk to 24. He is not a child and this is not a parenting issue (which is Mr. Hot’s territory and rightfully so). This is you reacting to insensitive and self-absorbed behavior from another adult who Lives In Your House.
And you might want to think about sending it via email rather than in person if you think a torrent of “stuff” will be unleashed if you have a face to face conversation. Writing to my stepbrother seemed to be a good way for my mom to communicate with him because she could stick to the point and be calm and clear. When she talked to him she would always lose it and then he wouldn’t hear anything she said.
Good luck!
Katy’s last blog post..Whatever, the Penis Edition
First of all, your nephew and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish him a speedy recovery.
Secondly, I second what many people have said - I think that 24 either figured that you all already knew, or just simply forgot. When you’re young, single and childless, you hear news like that about somebody else’s kid and you think, “Oh, that’s terrible.” and then you immediately forget it and go on about your life. When you’re a parent, whatever your age, you hear news like that about somebody else’s kid and you think, “Oh my God, how terrible. I must call/ email/ send a card and find out how I can help them. I would be just devastated if that happened to my child, so I must help these people.” And then you get on the phone and get their address and talk to them and let them know how much you care. It’s the difference that happens when you become a parent. You can empathize instead of sympathize, and it makes all the difference in your reaction.
That’s not to say that 24 should be let completely off the hook. But I would recommend just telling him that his side of the family doesn’t always communicate with you very promptly and that you would appreciate hearing any news that he hears as soon as possible.
Shelly’s last blog post..Chance Encounter
Oh girl, you’re preaching to the choir here.
First, I’m so sorry about the nephew.
Now, on the answering the rant. You know we share some similar history here - I will just tell you that I’ve spent the better part of the last 25 years biting my tongue about what my husband’s children are really like…the snide comments overheard at a family party, the inability to look me in the eye, the oldest son (who is the second coming of the baby Jesus if you ask my husband) who frankly will not even address me (even though he’s 36 now, has a child of his own, and is soon to be a neurosurgeon) if I’m standing in his living room.
My husband doesn’t see it, and he doesn’t want to hear it. It will never alter his opinion of his children, and it will only end up with us fighting, so I say nothing.
But lately, my step-daughter has taken to texting MY daughter and being all chummy with her. Sending her Facebook messages. Trying to get her to make plans with her. Step daughter is 34, my daughter 18. She’s ignored her for 18 years. But now that she’s out from under my roof, she is making an all-out press to be her best friend. My daughter is having none of it. She hasn’t missed the snide comments or the nasty looks behind my back.
I think you have every right to be pissed at 24. But, as much as I hate to say it, you’re not married to 24. And for all the years I’ve ignored my step-children’s behavior so I didn’t piss off my husband, maybe it’s time for you to say something to Mr. Hot. 24 does what he does because he can. Just like my steps. They’re not accountable to me, and certainly not their father who finds them perfect. So why bother to change or give a damn about anyone else?
OK…thanks for letting ME rant on YOUR blog.
Candy’s last blog post..Another good reason not to be a poodle
Will you stop writing about my family! I swear I’m related to your husband’s family.
I so understand where you are coming from. I have been frequently told by my OWN family that “I don’t love them.” Why?
Well, because I tell it like it is. Think some ex-brother-in-law is poisening them with foo foo powder? I tell them they are paranoid. They were. Actually had the HAZMET team come storming to the house to test DUST.
Oh and said ex-BIL… he was busy remarrying and becoming a pastor of a church. In another state. Hmmm…
Oh the list goes on… that is just ONE peek into the family I rarely write about! lmbo
Beth from the Funny Farm’s last blog post..Barrel Racing and the Emergency Room
I haven’t read the other comments, so you may have heard this a dozen times already.
My thought is that if 24 has knowledge like that and isn’t sharing it, it’s a sign of him showing his “closeness to the family” that he’ll later be able to use to rub in your face. And he did. “I’m still in with the family, you are not” is what it says. It’s an ego thing. He knew something his own dad didn’t know.
You are totally in the right to be pissed off. Unfortunately, any discussion of it will only give him more satisfaction.
Hyphen Mama’s last blog post..Your Empathy is NEEDED
Oh yeah I’d give 24 a piece of my mind about that. He is old enough to know to share information that important!
Terris last blog post..Are Apple Orchards a bid deal where you live?
I think you are right to be mad. But from what you’ve mentioned about 24 on here, you can’t really be surprised. That boy needs to grow up and grow up fast!
Kristabellas last blog post..Bacon Crashes My Pity Party