Nov 24 2008
Thirty-Nine & Twenty-Four
No, it’s not my birthday - that’s in the Spring - and I haven’t seen 39 for several years. Thirty-nine is how many bags of leaves Mr. Hot and I put out for the yard waste pickup yesterday. The leaves will be recycled into free compost that the township gives away every spring. The bags will be recycled.
It’s a shame there aren’t more uses for the things.
******lalalalala******
When I had dinner with these two last week, they were surprised to find out that 24 still lives here. Oh yes, he does. Because, apparently, I haven’t been bitching too much lately.
Is he still making me crazy?
Only when I let him. Which isn’t too often anymore, because I’ve taken a stand. I refuse. This house only needs one Alpha Bitch - and that role belongs to me. So, he’s become like that smaller, younger female in the pack - largely ignored by the Alpha Bitch. She, er, I mean, he works Monday through Thursday from 8-5 and spends at least three nights every week with his boyfriend.
When he does manage to make it here after work, he walks in, goes directly to the kitchen, eats our food, and then goes down to his room until 10 pm or so, when he comes back up to take a shower. This past weekend, he left Friday afternoon to go back to Morganhole to pick up MORE STUFF from the house he moved out of last April. (Remember? He had a desk?) I don’t know what he brought back, or where he’s going to put it, but then…I Don’t Care. La la la la la. And you can’t make me. So there.
However. There are moments… Oh, are there moments, y’all. This one makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Last weekend, his sister (21), my brilliant, beautiful stepdaughter (as long as SHE doesn’t try to move in next) and her boyfriend came up from West-by-gawd-Virginia. Mr. Hot and I decided we’d make a huge breakfast on Saturday since all 4 “children” (Shortman, 24, 21 and the boyfriend) were going to the U of M/Northwestern football game at noon - and Mother Nature promised rain mixed with snow and sleet. (Mother Nature delivered.)
We told 24 to go ahead and invite C - his boyfriend - for breakfast as well.
Friday night, as we were discussing sleeping arrangements, 24 whined, “It’ll just be easier if I go sleep at C’s house.” (Yea, whatev.) We reminded him that breakfast the next morning was at 9 am - and spent the rest of the evening playing board games. (Which, y’know, I RULED. Have you ever played Apples to Apples? Dude. You don’t want to take me on.)
At 9 am on Saturday, we all assembled in the kitchen except…of course, 24. and C. But they were on their way. (We took bets to see who could come closest to actual arrival time. 21 beat us all with a 9:35 guess - only 2 minutes off.)
When they finally arrived (and C. is perfect for 24, by the way…it was first time we met him), Mr. Hot was making a second round of eggs. 24 was not impressed that we were taking bets on their arrival time (especially Mr. Hot’s guess of 10 o’clock), but he quickly recovered and started getting C’s plate of food ready and poured his coffee. He bustled around like a nervous girlfriend.
It was really something to see. There we all were, dressed in sweats - unwashed hair (well, the others, y’know) - standing around with cups and plates - dirty pans piling up - and 24 was waiting on C - making sure that he had everything he needed. I kept waiting for him to tuck a napkin into C’s shirt collar.
“Where’s the cream?”, 24 asked. “C takes cream in his coffee.”
Mr. Hot looked at me and mouthed, “Cream?” over 24’s head.
I shrugged my shoulders.
Um, there’s milk - well, there’s skim milk. We don’t have cream.
And so, C had skim milk in his coffee.
You’re probably wondering, “Why does this make the Hotfessional laugh? There’s really nothing that funny about it. In fact, she’s kinda being condescending towards the relationship.”
No, really - the funny thing is CREAM???? CREAM????? The kid has been living in this house - eating our food and drinking our coffee and using our water. And yet, the look on his face when we told we had no coffee cream … was priceless.
—- Okay, so maybe it’s only funny to me. And maybe I should add CREAM to my grocery list for this week - I’ve invited C for leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner. We actually invited him for dinner, but he’s going to his parents. Where apparently, they have cream. And sugar that isn’t served out of the 5 lb bag. —-
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No, it’s not funny just to you - - I find it freakin’ hilarious! (and so does Mr. Dizzy)
Liz J in Central Illinoiss last blog post..Exciting Stuff!
It’s pretty funny. Also? I loves me some apples to apples.
I am so NOT going to make a “cream” joke here but I will say, 24 is going to make a great little wife someday =)
::: smack me :::
Nancys last blog post.."Four Christmases"
creamer is an issue in my family. my mom only buys the powdered kind, she says the liquid refrigerated stuff i use makes her coffee cold. so when i go to her house i have to use milk and when she comes to mine she’s constantly putting her cup in the microwave.
This is pretty funny! Maybe you’ll get lucky some day and 24 will move out on you, and in with C…
Coast Rats last blog post..RUN OVER BY A TRUCK, I HELD HER IN MY ARMS AND CRIED INSIDE
You read my mind. I’ve been wondering about 24 (because apparently I have no life and my life consists of thinking about bloggy friends).
Not knowing there is NO CREAM is the first thing that popped into my head. So, no… it’s not just you.
Wake up and smell the coffee–sans cream–24.
Maybe next time 24 is at the grocery store picking up a few items, he should add cream to his purchase. *snort*
Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Dear Universe…. Uncle, Uncle, Uncle! **Hugely long bullet list**
I so had no thought about cream in a dirty way until Nancy had to go and dirty up my mind!
Jasons last blog post..In a Word
Hyphen Mama said exactly what I was thinking–he should know by now that you don’t do cream, and he should pick some up to have on hand if C is going to be coming over.
Karens last blog post..Project 365 Day 48
Awe, seems like it was an eventful morning at the Hot house! 24 was way nervous, too cute!
So, pray tell, what is coffee cream? Is it like regular cream or what?
I would totally starve in the US.
Meh, not condescending. Buying 24 a pink frilly apron for Christmas so he can serve his boyfriend his coffee with cream would be condescending.
And something I would totally do.
We LOVE apples to apples in our clan, it’s a rockin’ good time! Did that make you hot? lol (just reading the little diddy above where to leave the comments).
Terris last blog post..Christmas is a little tight this year
Aww, that’s so sweet!
Is C cute? And is he a good choice for 24?
Solomons last blog post..The December ‘08 Contest
I hope you & Mr. Hot are patting yourselves on the back for fostering a home environment that 24 feels good about bringing C around in, even though you barbarians DON’T HAVE CREAM! ha ha… But seriously, it’s so great that he’s bringing the boy around. Think of where 24 & Mr. Hot were in their relationship a year ago. You have all come so very far! You guys rock.
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJuless last blog post..One of these things is not like the other, both were amazing
ROFL That’s great…Oh Ree, btw You are TOTALLY on for Apples to Apples when we come back to michigan. Completely…be ready to beg for mercy.
Carries last blog post..Flowers for Ruby….
Dude, Apples to Apples sounds like a great game - I’ll have to pick that one up. I can’t wait until my kids are old enough for games nights!
And I definitely want to hear more about how C is a perfect match for 24. It is adorable that he was bustling around and so nervous. I remember bringing boyfriends home and being nervous!
Shellys last blog post..Weekend
I’m snickering–but I’m also glad that things are better than before.
melissas last blog post..One Word Challenge
WTF kind of messed up household doesn’t have coffee cream? I’m appalled, Hot.
Do you have to pay $1/bag for your lawn bags? We do, and we put out A LOT of bags every year. Yet another reason why we need to move into the country, where disposal of lawn waste is free.
And 24… Food? It does not magically appear in the fridge. There are places (maybe you’ve heard of them? They’re called “grocery stores”) where you can go to buy cream for your boyfriend’s coffee. These [air quotes] grocery stores [/air quotes] also have a wide variety of other food products available for purchase, which you can then shovel into your gaping maw. Just a little FYI, from me to you.
Amaelijas last blog post..We interrupt the bitching and seriousness
I don’t know - a house full of kids, eating, being together…. me thinks you had a wondeful time.
I don’t believe sugar or cream should be added to coffee, so I refuse to serve it… I’ve had guests go through the freezer looking for ice cream to put in their coffee. Hee.
Jennys last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving
Hahaha! (Sorry I’m laughing at all the cream-related dirty jokes going through my head.)
Who uses cream? I use that powdered creamer. Sometimes I splurge for coffemate. I would have said “This isn’t Denny’s!” And also, it’s 2008.
Kristabellas last blog post..So Funktified
If only 24 would do the shopping, he could be a better hostess to his friend than you.
witchypoos last blog post..Winner winner chicken dinner
Apples to Apples is so much fun!
Watching your stepson dote on someone must be hilarious! I know I get amused watching my “little” brother with his wife!
barbras last blog post..My Hero