Nov 10 2009
Civic Duty
I felt badly turning the elderly lady in, but if I wasn’t going to be able to knit my way through sitting in the Jury Assembly room, then neither was she.
I had (dutifully) gotten my butt out of bed at the luxuriously decadent 6:15 alarm sounding (It was Monday! That’s two extra hours of sleep right there.), showered, injected swallowed enough coffee to make it through a day of sitting with a bunch of strangers, and gathered supplies that I hoped would make the day less of a big waste of time painful.
- Blackberry? Check.
- Netbook? Check.
- Knitting needles and yarn? Check.
- Pen and paper in case a good blog opportunity walked by? Check, and check.
I had (dutifully) checked the Washtenaw County website looking for rules about what I could and couldn’t bring. There was nothing in the Jury Duty section, so I assumed I was good.
You know what they say about assuming, right?
As I walked in the doors, I noticed a great many signs about cell phones and camera and “BAD. PROHIBITED. NOT ALLOWED.” Sighing, I turned around to walk back to my car. On the outside of the building were more signs. No knitting needles or crochet hooks.
Okay. I’m screwed.
I didn’t see anything about laptops being banned, but my Netbook has a webcam, so I figured it would also be illegal.
All of it went into the trunk. And I turned back to the courthouse empty handed except for my wallet, my pad of paper and a pen.
As I went through the metal detectors (oh mah holy hell, y’all, I think I’m going to start glowing one of these days from all the x-ray machines I walk through), this little Gramma looking lady was in front of me.
She picked up the bin that was waiting for her at the end of the conveyor belt. It was filled with pastel-colored yarn. And knitting needles.
Considering I’d just trudged the two blocks back to the parking structure to get rid of my own (plastic, even!) knitting needles, I figured I’d check with the uniformed dudes to see if mine were legal. It would be worth the return trip (AGAIN) to have something to do instead of sitting quietly with my hands folded in my lap or perusing magazines from 1997.
Excuse me? Can I ask you a question? I read on that notice that yarn and knitting needles are prohibited?
Well, yarn is okay, but yea – no needles or hooks.
Um, well, then why does she get to take those needles?
He walked over to Grammy (who had cleverly hidden most of the metal under her yarn, but – being the eagle eye completely jealous crafter that I am, I caught the tell-tale glimmer of shiny size 7s poking out) and asked her if she had needles or scissors in the bin.
She pulled them out – he told her they needed to go back to her car.
I walked past her and kept my eyes averted. I did NOT need a knitter who had been separated from her tools knowing it was me who turned her ass in.
—- I hear being impaled on those things hurt like hell. —-
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Hmmm, I would have done the same.
But, on another note…I’m not sure what last week was about but I am darn glad you’re back!
Good post. Glad to see you got back OK
AF´s last blog ..Help Needed
Good for you, Ree. But I would worry more about the security personnel who just let it slip by! That’s pretty shoddy work on their part . . .
Liz J in Central Illinois´s last blog ..Hey, Better Late Than Never, Right?
lalalalala Hot is back and life is good again. *snoopy dance*
April´s last blog ..Barry White and the Tobster
Yay!! You’re back!
Yeah, don’t screw with old ladies who knit. I should know. My mother is one of those and she’s scary as shit.
Major Bedhead´s last blog ..Still….
Heh. She’s no danger without the knitting needles. Unless she has a cane. Fuck, my mom was hell on wheels with that cane.
witchypoo´s last blog ..Open Mouth Insert Foot
I get the knitting needles part–after all, they’re some sort of bluntly pokey at the end. But crocheting hooks? Come on! Even though there, size probably matters …
Gosh, have I missed your writing!
charlotte´s last blog ..Boobs 2.0
Heh. Just don’t take a nap. She’ll find a way to get you….
Shelly´s last blog ..Snippets
Good for you. One of my goody-two-shoes tendencies is that I HATE it when people try to get away with stuff like that.
My senile grandmother attacked my mother with her knitting needles. Fortunately, no one was injured, but that was Grammie’s last day as a knitter.
Violet´s last blog ..Manic Monday #188
They had all those signs when I went too, but I saw tons of people with laptops and I totally got my iPhone through.
I think they just don’t want you to have them in the courtroom, if you get chosen. At least that’s what they told us. You could have at least snuck in your blackberry.
Kristabella´s last blog ..Praise Be To Neti
Where were you???
I was allowed to take knitting needles to jury duty a few years ago. Federal court, even. But one of the days that I was there, I had to go to a meeting at the city Dept of Education – where they also have metal detectors, and where they tried to take away my knitting. I talked her out of it, but, crazy, no? Okay in court but not at the Dept of Ed?
magpie´s last blog ..Stigma // Taboo
Sorry, must play by rules.
Rachel´s last blog ..Quietly suffering (cont’d)
HA! Once again, life is safe in the courtroom! Thanks to the eagle eyed Hotfessional!
I am SO glad to have you back!
I would seriously lose my shit if I had to sit through jury duty and not knit. Knitting is how I survive long, tedious, boring situations — PTO meetings, waiting at the DMV, conference calls at work…
Jen on the Edge´s last blog ..Bullets over Tuesday (the chicken version)
Biotch, that’s what I love about you … I would have done the same thing ! Nah-nah-na-poo-poo!
SO glad you’re back =)
Nancy´s last blog ..Conversation Hearts: Blonde to the Roots, Dumb like a Fox
What a yarn you had for us today. ha ha ha I kill myself. But not with knitting needles. I’d love for you to teach me how to knit!
Ha! I just finished knitting for the evening. I’m making a cowl. What are you making?
I wonder if bamboo or plastic needles would’ve been ok? Did it specify all needles and crochet hooks? (By the way, that’s just plain nuts…not letting people knit when they’re sitting there waiting for the wheels of justice to creep along.)
Tomorrow, don’t forget a book.
Tuli´s last blog ..A couple of too-bright photos
You are evil. I like that.
Lemonysarah´s last blog ..New Post on Recessionista Mama!
I so would have done the same… I mean rules are rules right?
talina´s last blog ..Assaulted in Indy and Jingle Bells makes my ears bleed…
Hey, those security guys are GOOD. It’s a good thing Granny wasn’t packing a gun! Those guys are a shoe in for a TSA upgrade. UGH.
I hope your day wasn’t horribly painfully awful.
Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..Morsels and Crumbs….
Its great to have you back!!! I was so worried I would miss something skimming through my mail! For the huge allowance of $15/day they should allow jury detainees any size entertainment that can be carried on your person….just my $.02.
Heartless and funny at the same time. Difficult to pull off yet you did it with relative ease. I like the “yarn is okay but no needles or hooks”. Government logic at its finest.
Milk River Madman´s last blog ..The Walt Gibbs Memorial
Welcome back! You’re back with a Hot vengeance!!!
Red Hamster´s last blog ..It’s spider time
Way to narc out the old lady. Keeping America safe, Hot. We can count on you! (Not stitches, of course, but we can count on fingers and toes)
Green Girl in Wisconsin´s last blog ..veteran’s day
And….then what?! Did you end up on a jury?
Next time you should wear them in your hair like the chopstick type things I see holding French Twists in place. Do people still wear French Twists or is that only for little old ladies? Ohhh! I bet that’s what the little old lady tries to do next time! Keep your eye on her.
Dingo´s last blog ..My Fat Mouth
awww. i feel bad for her…! i am sure someone would have told her eventually. i can’t believe you wanted to take all those electronics in with you during JURY DUTY – what were you thinking woman, it’s supposed to be mindnumbing and boring! or the least they want you to do is actually, ahem, listen and take notes…:)
just had to laugh – the modern juror. (was it jury selection??)
Do NONE of you people remember the scene from “Halloween” when Jamie Lynn Curtis TRIED to kill Michael Meyers with her knitting needles? LEATHAL WEAPONS I TELL YA! Oops, except for the part where he didn’t DIE!
Fannie´s last blog ..Overheard
OKAY. WAIT A SECOND. I don’t click for a week or so and you are back!
DUDE!! Really, cause I need something else to read beside the BS I do now.
SWEET!!! missed you..J
I understand completely–rules is rules for everyone or it ain’t a rule anymore.
karen´s last blog ..Betty Crocker Fruit Flavored Snacks