Back in 2004, when I first went to The Land of the Tiger, I was armed beforehand with a list a mile long of things to get, things to do, things NOT to do.

Don’t drink the water. Or milk. In fact, don’t drink anything where you haven’t opened the bottle by yourself. Don’t eat any food from a street vendor or any fruit that you can’t peel. And forget the ice. Learn to love room temperature beer.

Eat only with your right hand. Accept gifts only with your right hand. Avoid winking, whistling, pointing.

Expect to barter for pashminas, jewelry, rugs.

Don’t make eye contact with the monkeys. Or the beggars. Don’t be surprised to see people urinating on the side of the road.

If you’re in a car and you hit a cow, get out and RUN. Far and fast.

Take your own syringes in case you need to be admitted to the hospital. DON’T get admitted to the hospital.

If you’re bitten by a snake, make sure you remember the markings so you can accurately describe it to the doctors (in the hospital you don’t want to go to).

Make sure you have the strongest mosquito repellant that is sold. Don’t forget your malaria preventative. TAKE IT.

Get your immunizations:
- Polio booster
- Tetanus
- Hepatitis A & B (the whole series…no skimping)
- Typhoid

Take Immodium with you. You WILL get diarrhea. (AKA Delhi belly.) (Just make sure you don’t let one of your travel companions use yours when she forgets hers, because by the time you need it, there will be none left. Ehem.)

The list goes on. And on.

Annnnnnyyyywayyyyyyyyy, I remembered all of this when I found out I was, once again, leaving on that jet airplane. Last Wednesday – when I figured out we’d be leaving in two.weeks. – I also figured that I should check with my friend the travel nurse to see if anything had changed – any new vaccines I needed or rules I hadn’t heard of.

Why yes, Hotfessional, your typhoid immunization is only good for two years. You’ll need a booster.

Of course, when I offered to come in immediately to get poked, I was told that the first opening they had was on December 7th. Four days after we leave.

After making 17 calls, in Michigan AND in Chicago, I had struck out. Not only did I need the typhoid shot, I needed the malaria pills AND the antibiotic. (Did I forget that? Oh, yea – you should also have Cipro with you. Just in case.) (They never tell you ‘just in case’ of what. And really? Do you want to know??) No one would give me the prescriptions unless I came in for the consultation. And no one would give me a consultation because EVERYONE is apparently going to the underdeveloped world for Christmas.

I finally called our travel coordinator and told him I couldn’t go unless he pulled some strings. He pulled.

I’m getting my shot. (Arf, arf.)

At 7 tomorrow. Seven in the morning. A. M.

—- I hate injections. I hate mornings. Do you see how tomorrow is going to go? Send vodka. Sealed. No ice. —-

“All of us grow up in particular realities – a home, family, a clan, a small town, a neighborhood. Depending upon how we’re brought up, we are either deeply aware of the particular reading of reality into which we are born, or we are peripherally aware of it.” — Chaim Potok

—- Though now in search of a new neighborhood, this one will always have in a special place in my heart. —-

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For more Mute Monday participants, go check out The Troll Report.

• Waking up, finding the house socked in with fog, falling back to sleep.
• Eggs and potatoes with an “oops” dash of garlic.
• Receiving my 11×14 print of this shot – I want to hang it in my office.

• The dog’s expression when he realizes it’s time for a walk.
• The Sunday paper spread all over the kitchen table.

Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small Things. Thanks to Schmutzie, as always.

One of those weeks here.
Do this. Do that. Run Run Run.
Brain on overload.

Home in Ann Arbor,
it’s gray and dreary and cold.
Where is time going?

My focus today
is getting through the meetings
without shouting “Shit!”.

So, I’d forgotten about this song until I heard it yesterday morning while I was getting ready for work. Enjoy!

—- Guest posters still needed! Apply within. —-

Stolen from Jason’s blog. He stole it from some others who got it from Proust. I remember the questions from that show where they interviewed actors…oh, yea, Inside the Actors Studio. (Thanks G00gle.) James Lipton asked some other questions – like “What’s your favorite curse word?” Of course, my answer to that would be Fuck.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? A day with nothing to do except hang out with Mr. Hot, curled up on the couch together with good books, good wine, good food and breaks for dog walks in the woods. A visit from Shortman would cap it all off. He wouldn’t need to stay long.

What is your greatest fear? Fire. Enough said. Shudder.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Envy. I hide it well, I think, but damn. Not. Good.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Nose picking. Wait. Um…the inability to accept others’ differences. Intolerance.

Which living person do you most admire? Wow. Tough one. Maybe my uncle the brilliant doctor who founded an international medical organization to provide health care training, aid and supplies to devastated countries. Or my husband – for putting up with the life we’re living. Really, it’s a toss-up.

What is your greatest extravagance? I’m not extravagant. Seriously. Other than our house (which – although we probably paid too much since prices started dropping before the ink had dried on our closing papers) and car (which is leased, because I also fear outrageous car repair bills and exorbitant car payments), I guess it’s the 48″ LCD television.

What is your current state of mind? Anxious. Too much happening over the next few weeks for me to relax completely.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? So, does it say anything that I had to look up the “Seven Virtues“? Overrated? None of them. I refuse to answer this question. So there. (Picture me sticking my tongue out.)

On what occasion do you lie? Since I can’t refuse to answer this question right after refusing to answer the other, I will say that I don’t lie. I may bend the truth to prevent hurting someone. Well, okay, there was the time I lied about smoking to my parents. Now, though, I just don’t smoke in front of them. And they pretend to not know I smoke.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? I hate my nose. But, I’m also not extravagant, so I’ll never get the nose I should have been born with.

What is the quality you most like in a man? The ability to wear a suit well? (And yes, Mr. Hot knows this.) Actually, men who understand women and treat them as true equals will always have my respect.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Strength in conviction and intelligence.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Fuck. (see above) Honestly. (isn’t that a given?) Sure. Sorry. (over-apologizing means nothing.)

Which talent would you most like to have? I would love to be able to play the fiddle.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Is “me” an option? If not, I would say “my dog”.

Where would you most like to live? Someplace where Winter is a month long, Spring is Spring, Summer lasts forever, and Autumn is warm and colorful. Or Amsterdam. Whichever.

What is your most treasured possession? My wedding rings. I wear three – my mother’s original set (engagement ring and wedding band) and my grandmother’s wedding band.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being lonely. NOT being alone, but being truly lonely. And you don’t have to be by yourself to feel it.

What is your favorite occupation? I honestly (see above) love my job, but nursing and teaching rank right up there in “things I would do if I had to change careers”.

What is your most marked characteristic? Physically? I think it’s my green eyes. Otherwise, I hope that others would say it’s my “niceness”.

What do you most value in your friends? The willingness to listen to me rant without judging. Or trying to fix me.

Who are your favorite writers? Stephen King. Patricia Cornwell. Anne McCaffrey.

Who is your hero of fiction? Francie from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

What is it that you most dislike? Milk. Pompous asses. (I can have two here, right?)

What is your greatest regret? Not studying during my year at Michigan State. I don’t regret the life I’ve lived afterwards, but I really should have studied.

How would you like to die? Instantly. Without pain. I’m a wuss.

What is your motto? “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

—- I met Anissa Mayhew at BlogHer ‘09 and was instantly amazed by her wit and wisdom. Her smile is the kind that draws you in and you want to get closer – to hear what she’s saying and what’s making everyone around her grin right along. At 35, and the mother of 3, she suffered her second stroke on Tuesday afternoon. As we all count our blessings and give thanks over the next couple of weeks, please spare some thoughts, prayers, good karma, for Anissa and her family. —-