Dec 09 2009
On Anonymity
I’ve been reading Magpie Musing for ages and was thrilled when I got to meet her at BlogHer ‘09. We hung out on the rail overlooking the Chicago river, downed a couple of beers and shot the shit like we’d grown up together. Well, that’s how I remember it anyway. (And since she’s guest blogging for me, I’m assuming she remembers it the exact same way.) She not only has a way with words, but she’s a whiz in the kitchen as well!
The Hotfessional’s out of town, and I’m house-sitting. Just for today, I’m keeping the lights on and the home fires burning.
When she asked for squatters, I thought about what to write – she’s far hotter and way more ‘fessional than I am so it was a little daunting – but then it came to me. What better thing to write about than anonymity and her cousin, pseudonymity – especially on a blog not one’s own?
I started my blog merely for me. I picked a blog name that riffs on my own name, and is, in fact, something that people have called me from time to time – along with Magnolia, Magenta, Maggot and Magnesium. But I picked it more for the romantic idea of the magpie – an acquisitive collector of unrelated tidbits. For that’s what I do – I collect eccentric bits and spit them out on the intertubes. It’s awfully hard to pigeonhole myself when asked to do so – I’m not a food blogger, or a mommy blogger, or a crafty blogger, or an entertainment blogger – I’m just me, collecting weird stuff for my amusement, writing about the things that I need to write to process, remembering my life now and then.
Over time, I’ve told family and friends about my blog – or someone told someone else and I find out that she too is reading. I’ve set up a linkage so that my blog posts show up on my Facebook page. I’m happy that friends and family are reading – even though it sometimes takes me aback if someone mentions it in person.
But – and here’s where we circle back to that “professional” thing that the Hotfessional does so well – I’ve kept the blog and other social media out of my work life. Most (if not all) of my colleagues are on Facebook. I don’t know if any of them tweet. My boss is on Facebook and Twitter, but not really – we do it for him, as a tangential marketing device. But though I’m on Facebook, I’m not his friend, or anyone else’s. And my privacy settings there are such that they shouldn’t be able to find me – theoretically, of course, as nothing is fail-safe.
Sometimes I wonder why. I think it’s because I don’t want anyone second-guessing my time, or peering into my personal life too closely. I have a job, and I have a life. I love my job, but at the end of the day, I work to live, not the other way round.
But those walls, they are paper thin. I know people through work who happen to live in my town – they probably know local people that I’m friends with on Facebook, like the book club women – and someday, the flimsy will succumb.
A couple of years ago, I got an email with a subject line of “i’ve uncovered your secret identity, ms. magpie” – well, actually, it used my real last name. I’d left a comment on a third party blog post in which I mentioned that I used to know this person – through work, as it happens. She found the comment, because she had a Google alert set up on her name. She went from there to my blog, put two and two together, and guessed right. It still kind of amuses me that she found me, though I’m glad that it happened long after she ceased to have any involvement with my organization. I think I’d be appalled if a current board member or staff member stumbled upon my blog. With luck, I’ll have won the lottery by then.
How about you? Does your office know about your blog? Are you concerned about anonymity? Do you write using pseudonyms? And when the wall is breached, will it bother you?
—- Are you kidding? I deleted my Facebook identity as soon as my mother mentioned that she had an account. —-
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
I use my real first name on my blog but don’t mention our last name, which is unusual and we’re the only people in our town with it.
On Facebook, I am friends with some colleagues and regret that a great deal. If I ever change jobs, I’m going to unfriend all those people and never friend colleagues again.
My colleagues know about my blog, but since I work primarily with male college students and alumni, they’re not terribly interested, which is fine with me.
My family knows about my blog, even though I tried to keep it a secret from some of them. And it turns out that the handful of people I didn’t want to find my blog were the three people who ended up emailing me the most hateful things about it and attempting to leave the most vicious comments.
I used the MRM handle as it is the river that flows through my hometown. Some at work know I blog but they don’t follow it and some of my family read. My girlfriend won’t let her family even have my blog address. She wants them to like me.
I finally got on facebook after a class reunion this summer but about the only think I post there are links to my blog. Most of my friends are people from my home town.
Great job of guest posting.
Milk River Madman´s last blog ..An Ode to Tiger Woods
Thanks for the space, Ree!
magpie´s last blog ..Pregnancy ? Nine Months
Ree – YOU’RE who dropped off my friends list on Facebook recently! That has been bugging me for weeks! SO glad that mystery is solved.
I use my real first name on my blog, but not last name as it’s kind of unusual and not very common. No one in my real-life knows I write a blog, except my husband. I’ve been tempted to tell a few friends, but then I just haven’t.
On Facebook, I’m friends with most everyone. Friends from school, church, previous and current jobs (including my supervisor), and people I’ve met through my blog, even ex-boyfriends. Pretty much anyone who sends me a friend request is cool as long as I know them and mostly like them. I’ve only turned down two friend requests and I have no regrets (so far!). I don’t use Facebook for much, though, and don’t waste a bunch of time on there playing games and stuff. So I hope none of that comes back to bite me in the butt.
If my co-workers found my blog, I would…shrug. They would be mostly uninterested. They consider me old and boring, anyway, so they would find my blog hopelessly lame. If my friends found my blog, I would be fine with it. There are a few I would invite to read anyway. If my family found my blog, eh. There’s nothing on there they don’t know anyway.
Shelly´s last blog ..Probably Hypothetical Question
I use a pseudonym although after I have established some kind of real communication with commenters, I usually sign with my real name in private email responses to them.
It makes me happy that other people read it, but, like you, my blog is for me. My sisters know about it and sometimes read it. My parents DO NOT. I have mentioned at work that I blog but have not given anyone the info to find my blog. I want to feel free to write whatever the hell I want to write and not feel the need to censor myself.
I’m a magpie, too.
Violet´s last blog ..The chocolate brown, boucle-knit, cowl-neck, batwing sweater
I started my blog without hiding my identity so it’s never been a big issue for me- sometimes it’s weird when I get a comment for an unexpected friend or family source but I’m generally ok with it. I can though, see the need to keep some things separate. It can be a little “awkward” when your worlds collide……
repliderium.com´s last blog ..My Ghost of Christmas Past
Well, talk about putting two and two together…. I still don’t know how you knew where to find my cricket holder/poison shaker on the internet!
As for anonymity…..yes I’ve not told anyone at work my blog links [and I have more than one blog, all pseudonymous], except for the one with all photos.
I like to write anonymously because then I can be anybody, and do anything, and nobody can hold me to it.
FA
Teresa´s last blog ..
How timely that I read this today, three days after my mom left me a voicemail that said: “Honey, I just wanted to talk to you. I just got done reading your blog and having my cry for the day.” Oy. What the hell did she read, I wondered before I called her back. And more importantly, how did she find my anonymous blog, that doesn’t have my real name and isn’t linked to my Facebook account?
I don’t know how she found it, don’t really care if she reads it though there is stuff that may upset her. But I don’t friend work people on Facebook, don’t tell them about my blog, and most of my family don’t know about my blog, or my Twitter account. It’s my private space.
I have posted a lot less on my blog in recent months, because I don’t feel comfortable posting what I want to and then someone I know finding it. I’ve thought about starting a new, totally anonymous blog that nobody knows at all. :shrug: We are all too connected sometimes, I think.
Kat´s last blog ..Enchant?
My blog-Facebook-Twitter sort of ARE my office, so my lines? Very challenging!
I don’t have a secret identity and have had to make a lot of choice because of that. I’ve dealt with fall-out and fall-in. I’ve said things and not said things, because.
And anyone can ask me about this anytime.
But mainly I ams SHOCKED that nobody calls you Magalicious. That’s totally my “boo” name for you now. And the way i keep myself from weeping that Ree got to hang with you by a river in Chicago when it should have been ME too.
Julie Pippert´s last blog ..How the holidays fill me with loads of hope
So nice to fly over here to see Ms. Magpie!
I do not use my last name on my blog. My colleagues know I have one, but probably wouldn’t be very interested even if they did know where/how to find it.
I don’t blog often and really never during work so it’s a non-issue. But I enjoy a clean separation of church and state, if you will — my work and private worlds collide as little as humanly possible. In fact, I think some of my colleagues may not know my last name either. 
laura @ the shorehouse´s last blog ..Having a ball, for four bucks.
When my mother was admitted to hospital, two weeks before she died. I made the decision to give my blog address out to Mum’s friends and to immediate family members as well. So that I could get information out there quickly without having to answer a gazillion phonecalls.
Before that only a handful of close friends and colleagues had my blog address.
Mum had always had my blog address and she knew and understood how I used my blog and how important my blog was for getting the words out of my head…
Whilst my mother was dying I didn’t give a second thought to how many people read my blog. I was just pleased that the phone had stopped ringing incessantly.
Some of the fallout was quite extraordinary after Mum died.When I started to write out my grief I was inundated with nasty stalkers some of whom I was unfortunately related to.
Only ten days after Mum had died I received nasty emails telling me to stop putting on an act and to get on with my life. Telling me that I was only writing for sympathy and that I was faking my grief.
All the time that Mum had been battling with and then dying from cancer I received a great deal of comfort and support from my friends in the blogosphere and for that I will be eternally grateful.
But once my blog was being read by all and sundry it became very hard. I dreaded opening my emails because some of the vitriol was terribly upsetting. My daughter Veronica was targeted as well. *sigh*
Now six months after Mum’s death I find that the support I am getting from my friends in the blogosphere and their kindness will always outweigh the negative effects of writing about my grief.
Kim (frogpondsrock)´s last blog ..Images of Tasmania 12