Feb 18 2010
Adding Insult to Injury
Yesterday, I read Lyvvie’s post about reading in public places – specifically on public transport. And now that I’m a regular public transport user (I mean rider, not that I use drugs on public transport…), I read all the time.
Most recently, I borrowed my new landlord’s copies of Naked and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. Good, easy reads for times when I’m surrounded by people jostling for space and half-listening to make sure I don’t miss my stop. That the essays are hilariously funny are only a bonus.
This morning, though, I obviously wasn’t thinking about what Lyvvie wrote. I grabbed a book, got to the station, and settled myself into my seat – surrounded, as usual (at 6:45 a.m.) by twenty-somethings heading downtown for work. I took off my glasses (all the better to see the freakin’ words) and propped my newest selection on top of my briefcase – exactly the right distance and height to make out the words on the page. I got involved in the character’s introduction to his life – a Jewish boy with an insurance salesman father – and ignored the activity going on around me. I’d heard of this book quite often, but had never read it – and since most of my other choices were either plays or tomes far too serious for light train reading, I figured this was my chance to read it without going to the library or buying it myself.
Four or five stops into the commute, I glanced up and noticed the guy across from me staring. Intently. With a wry grin on his face.
Then I realized he wasn’t staring at me, but at my book.
And then I turned 17 shades of red, died, and they dragged my body off the train.
—- Of course, when I got home this evening, I also found out that I had missed taking a dry-cleaning tag off the back of my skirt and walked around with a little slip of paper stapled to my ass all day. —-
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Many years ago, I took the DC metro to work every day. I can remember sometimes trying to hide book covers so that no one would judge me.
Also, a few years ago, I put on a pair of new pants and then proceeded to run errands all day with the size tag still attached to the ass.
HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, my. I had to click the link, because I really didn’t know much about Portnoy’s Complaint. But yeah, I can see how that would be embarrassing.
Shelly´s last blog ..Need help
Oh my – - your week sounds like it’s going the way mine has been . . .
I have walked around with tags on my ass more times than I can count. I’m thinking of making it my trademark (kind of like the way Minnie Pearl always wore price tags on her hats)!!
Liz J in Central Illinois´s last blog ..Grace In Small Things: 7/2010
I’m laughing because I have taken off book jackets to disguise my reading. WHY do we self-censor?
As for the tag, yeah, I once went to church with a price tag dangling from my armpit. V. shameful.
green girl in Wisconsin´s last blog ..comforting
I feel that I’m not properly dressed without a tag of some kind hanging off my clothing. (But when I’m rushed, one of those plastic tag-holders shaped like a long thing capital I will do.)
(Seriously, I find those things in clothes I’ve worn and washed and worn again. PATHETIC, I know.)
Also, your choice of public reading material? BWAHAHAHAHA!
Poppy Buxom´s last blog ..Blog365 Fail and other updates
I used to laugh at the looks I got on the bus when I was reading Jen Lancaster’s Such A Pretty Fat, with the bra and panties on the cover. I’m sure people were DYING to know what the book was about! HA!
Kristabella´s last blog ..Kerfuffle
Oh Hot! I so needed that laugh! I’m sorry that you had a dry cleaning tag attached, but at least it wasn’t a sticky note with “Kick me in the ass” written on it
Alison´s last blog ..Complaining….
I keep walking around with those size things stuck on the leg of my jeans. Meh.
Didn’t you learn how to make book covers from brown paper when you were a kid in school? that way, no one knows what you’re reading – unless, of course, they’re looking over your shoulder – which is just rude.
lceel´s last blog ..100 Word Challenge – Fortune
More than once I have worn a new tee or turtleneck with that sticky but clear tag they put on the front that shows the size. Usually underneath a jacket, but still …. yikes, I hate being caught out like that. Meanwhile, not a book I have ever read but at least your seat-mate was literate, eh?
pam´s last blog ..American Idol – top 24 finally
I love David Sedaris and therefore I love you. Who doesn’t love a hooker over for Christmas dinner?
kim´s last blog ..I’m The Best Girlfriend in the World- Reason #463
Heh! Love Sedaris! Have you read any of the Janet Evanovitch (sp?) Stephanie Plum novels? You would wet your pants laughing…
Let me know if you haven’t and I will send you mine!
Oh, and I got a nook for Christmas and LOVE it! (Think Kindle, only it’s by Barnes and Nobel instead of Amazon), $9.99 for almost all new releases. At least all the ones I have downloaded so far! It is great and you need one! I said so.
Krissa´s last blog ..Halfass floundering in the snow
I will see your dry-cleaning tags and raise you one toilet seat cover.
I walked around the office with a paper toilet seat cover hanging out of the back of my jeans for the better part of 30 minutes one day until a kind co-worker pointed it out (but not before trying to take a picture of my ass flag with her iPhone).
I feel your pain.
Jane´s last blog ..Things I have learned from Ted
Have you considered “The Naked Ape”, “The Naked Civil Servant” and perhaps “The Secret Diary of a Call Girl” as future travelling companions?
Great post!
AF´s last blog ..Go Girl!
LOL! Oh dear! hehe
Marylin´s last blog ..Lazy-Bum
I had to google it, but oh goodness gracious.
Yeah, I’m careful about what I read on the bus.
Rachel´s last blog ..The monthly reminder.
I guess it means he’s well read, right?
Bwahahaha, dry cleaning tag! And nobody told you? The nerve.
Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..It’s like giving birth, but more painful
bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa.
With, not at, babe. With not at.
You should have pointed and shrieked “Book Perv!!” at the letch. Then again, what’s so leery about a bright yellow cover?
Perhaps the idea of putting our books in a War and Peace book cover would be a good idea.
Wreacht! I’ve got the heebie-jeebies over the book perv!
I want a Kindle *cry* C’mon Australia, get with the Kindle program please!! At least get an amazon.au for goodness sakes!
Lyvvie´s last blog ..After a few drinks I’m free to explain…