Every day brings a new high and a new low. The highs are breathtaking and exhilarating. The lows make me want to curl up in a ball and stick my thumb in my mouth while I rock back and forth. Things that seemed in control spiral out and around; spinning with increasing speed.

We found our new home. The neighborhood is fun and friendly – within walking distance to parks and transportation. Diversity and culture will surround us. New and shiny – old and interesting…it’s all within reach. We love it and can’t wait until the day we get the keys and start spending every night together; sleeping with limbs curled around limbs, dog and cats finding spaces between legs and on heads. Holding hands as we explore old parts of Chicago in the summer.

And yet.

Every time another inspector visits the old house, the one that we’ve lived in for a mere four years, we find out that we have to pay for this, pay for that. Each visit brings another two inspectors to check this, check that. In today’s market, our house is worth 55% of what we paid for it in 2006. A new driveway and new gutters? Hours spent landscaping, planting and pruning? Insulating and finishing the garage? Worth nothing.

1972. That’s when the house was built. Thirty-eight years. It’s not so long, really. Modern plumbing and all of the conveniences had been invented. Apparently normal wear and tear are no longer “normal”.

It’s become a joke. How much more money can we throw down this seeming bottomless pit? If we get a handful of twenties and toss them towards the inspectors when they come over, can we leave? Can we pack up and move to our new life? Will it take fifties? Hundreds?

Oh yes.

The other day, we were walking the dog and I found a dollar bill. Were I a person who believes in signs, I’d believe that the dollar was lost specifically so I would understand that throwing money around was going to become a way of life. We wake up in the middle of the night and will our brains to shut.the.fuck.up. Stress and sleeplessness is the current way of life.

We laugh (although the laughter seems to have a slightly hysterical undertone) because it does no good to cry. We have to do this. We need to live our lives together again – and the only way we can do that is to get through this.

—- In the meantime, I close my eyes, hang on tight, and try not to puke. —-

• The second contract has been signed. Hallelujah, I have my life back.
• Having our offer on a condo in Chicago accepted. More on this soon.
• Michigan State in the Sweet-16.
• Watching the cats watching the birds.
• Fatayer.

—- The new condo? Around the corner from a Middle-eastern bakery. Like living next door to gramma. —-

Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small Things. Thanks to Schmutzie, as always.

• The robins came back to Michigan.
• Brunch.
• Tulip and crocus shoots in the front yard.
• Sunny skies predicted for this week.
• Sleeping in my own bed the past two nights.

—- Even though Poopy the Puppy decided to puke on the quilt right when I got under it. —-

Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small Things. Thanks to Schmutzie, as always.

Hey! Are you guys still around? lalalalala. ::looks around::

Really?

That’s so sweet.

So, here’s what’s going on in my life –

Work: I’ve been working on a multi-multi-million dollar deal as part of a negotiation team. Guess who has never, ever been on a negotiation team before? (Yes, that would be me.) We are signing two contracts – with two very different suppliers. ONE of them got signed last week. The day after pulling the all-nighter. The all-nighter was necessary to finish reviewing and commenting on 17,263 legal documents.

Our target is to sign the other one next week. Oh mah holy hell.

Family: Mr. Hot and Shortman are good. Poopy the Puppy is loving the Spring-ish weather around here.

Home: Oh, yea! I’m actually home in Michigan this week. There are PACKED BOXES in my garage and all of the bookshelves are cleaned out. Mr. Hot is preparing this place for showing to prospective buyers. It looks weird. We’ll be painting Shortman’s room this weekend. Goodbye Texas Rangers color scheme.

—- I’m not going to make any promises about updating over the next couple of weeks, but I’ll keep my eyes open for SOMETHING funny. Because the work stuff? Not falling into that particular category. —-

It’s only Tuesday. Keep that in mind.

1. I’m way too fucking old to pull an all-nighter.
2. Living in a third-floor walk-up is nice – except when the laundry room is in the basement.
3. It sucks that there are no new episodes of House to keep me occupied.
4. I can not keep up with email these days.
5. I complain too much. Lately.
6. Chocolate frozen yogurt is worth the calories.
7. There’s a reason they call it “beauty sleep”. No sleep = UGLY.

—- So I’m going to go remedy that now. G’night. —-