Damn, damn, damn. I really did have the best intentions to keep this place a little more current this month. But first there was a bored board meeting to attend. Then a corporate event last night. And somehow, here we are at June 4th (WTF y’all? JUNE??) it’s 7:55 a.m. and I’m sitting here in my office wanting nothing more than to put my head down on my desk and take a little nap.

……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….

Annnnnyyyyyywayyyyyyyyy.

I’ve been reading alot lately. ALOT. My commute to the office is 35 minutes each way – on the L. Nothing for me to do but stare out the window or people-watch…or read. I love to read, so I think it’s wonderful – BUT…books are heavy. And they take space to store. And we already have six bookcases that are crammed FULL of books. And there’s boxes that haven’t been unpacked that have books in them.

And then there’s the times that I’m only half-way to the office and I realize I have two pages left and panic sets in because I still have 17 minutes before I get to work and then oh mah holy hell, I’ve got to ride home again and what will I do because I’ll be bored silly and and and…so must buy more books before the day ends.

And did I mention that books are heavy?

So. Ehem.

When I received an Amazon gift card in the mail (credit card points), I did what any awesome wife would do. I asked Mr. Hot if there was anything that we needed to round out the massive post-move-to-Chicago purchases we had been making to replace all of the shit we figured we could do without before we left Ann Arbor.

(Seriously, I think that for everything we tossed there, we’ve bought something to take its place here.)

He looked at me and said, “I think you should buy a Kindle.”

Now, before I tell you more, you have to understand that I was adamantly opposed to EVER purchasing one of these because there’s something in my makeup that believes a book is a work of art. It has a smell and a feel to it that creates an energy that becomes part of the words you’re reading. How was I going to be transported to the world of the characters by a piece of plastic? If I stuck my nose down into the screen, was I going to be able to smell the slight mustiness escaping from my worn copy of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn?

I looked back at my darling husband, squinted my eyes, wrinkled my nose and responded, “Meh.”

Then I opened up my laptop and started reading about what I would have at my fingertips. Bestsellers. Free, out of copyright books that I never got a chance to read. New authors and award winners.

And if I was mid-way through a southbound train ride and got to the last page?

No biggie. And no heavy. Fifteen hundred books fit on this thing that weighs less than my wallet when I forget to empty the change out for a couple of weeks.

And that did it. It made up my mind for me.

In the past week, I’ve read:

- Two-and-a-half Michael Harvey novels
- An issue of Electric Literature and
- The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair

ASIDE: Which reminds me – I copied a passage from The Jungle that I know you all will appreciate –

Surely it is moderate to say that the dishwashing for a family of five takes half an hour a day; with 10 hours as a day’s work, it takes, therefore, half a million able-bodied persons — mostly women to do the diswashing of the country. And note that this is most filthy and deadening and brutalizing work; that it is a cause of anemia, nervousness, ugliness, and ill-temper; of prostituion, suicide, and insanity; of drunken husbands and degenerate children–for all of which things the community has naturally to pay.

Because, really…now we can blame everything on having to wash dishes…which is exactly what I told my mother when I was 11. /Aside

Annnywayyyyyyyyyy.

And while I’ll never, EVER, stop loving the feel of a much-read paperback or the smell of cracking open a new hardcover, I have to say that I’ve named my piece of plastic “Preciousssssssssssssssssss”.

—- Why does the term philistine come to mind? —-

You remember the book Thinner, right? Stephen King. A gypsy cursed a fat guy and he kept getting thinner. No matter what he ate, he lost weight.

No, I’m not munching on chips and scarfing bowls of ice cream and getting skinny (I wish) … but maybe I was channeling Kristabella last night when I got in a Chicago cab.

I’d been out with a friend for Indian food and then got into a cab with an Indian driver. It was almost like being back in India except for, y’know, no cows on the road. As we were tooling north on Lakeshore Drive, his phone rang.

“I know this number.”, he yells into the phone. “Nikki. I know you. Cheater. You gonna die. 3 months.”

He mumbled. Hung up and threw his phone on the seat next to him. Before he managed to get his hand back on the wheel, it rang again.

“Nikki. You bastard. 3 months. Bastard!”

—- At least he didn’t ask for my phone number. —-

• Meet with mason who will fix more stuff on this house.
• Take dog to vet.
• Take Shortman to bank to close out an old account.
• Help The Diva pack his stuff that is still in the basement.
• Visit sister and kids.
• Pick up molding to repair columns on front porch. (Better than replacing the freakin’ columns like the inspector wanted.)
• Drink.
• Page through photos of the new place for the 16,283th time.

—- So Krissa will stop begging. —-

Oh mah holy hell, y’all. Thank gawd this week is almost over. Between endless meetings (I’ve been in my office a total of 90 minutes in the past three days) and sleep interrupted by dreams of spreadsheets, I’m beat.

I know I complain, but I really do enjoy my work. The people, for the most part, are fun to be around, they laugh at my jokes (the way to get into my good graces {wink}), and are working just as hard as I am. It makes for a great team and days that, while long and exhausting, fly by. It’s not until I’m packing up to head “home” that I realize I’ve been going for 15 or 16 hours.

I wish I could tell you more about what I do and where I am, but…y’know…then I’d have to kill you. And neither of us would like that much.

So…annyyyyywayyyyyy.

*****lalalalala*****

In the randomness of non-work stuff in my mind lately – I decided to complain about other shit. Like…

• Shrink wrap. I mean, really. Why is it necessary to shrink wrap stuff without providing some way of removing said plastic without a sharp object?
• Unshoveled sidewalks. I wear snow boots. I can walk through snow up to my shins. But after all of the train passengers have walked on the uncleared pavement, it’s less like walking through snow and more like walking on shifting boulders.
• Pens that go missing. I just get used to writing with a certain pen and then wham! it’s gone. Why is it that the one I pick up to replace it never, EVER, writes as nice as the one I lost?
• Cold feet. When my feet are cold, it’s all I think about.
• Having to switch glasses to read. Yes, I’ve tried bifocals. No, they don’t help. I need trifocals, but I don’t want the size lenses that I would need to have them. Yes, I am vain, thankyouverymuch.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

*****lalalalala*****

Oh, wait. Why are there not more:

• Hugs.
• Tootsie Rolls.
• Meeting cancellation notices.
• Naps.
• Handwritten letters from far-away friends.

???

Just asking.

*****lalalalala*****

Mr. Hot and Shortman texted back and forth today:

Woo Hoo! Campus is closed!
Great! I’ll come pick you up and you can help me shovel.
Woo Hoo! They just re-opened campus!

*****lalalalala*****

Finding a package from Alice.com on my doorstep ranks right up there with total awesomeness at the end of a long day. It’s so much easier than lugging home laundry detergent.

—- I think I’ve proven that I need to get to bed now. —-

Updates in bullet form:

• I have gas. Cooking gas. In the apartment. I can now officially make my own meals. The problem is that I have meetings until 7 p.m. every night this week, and I’m far too tired to actually make anything.
• On the other hand, I should lose weight, right?
• I have internet access via a wireless air card. So I can post and read and watch videos. Again, though – no energy to do either.
• There’s a grocery store on the corner! BUT! Stopping in would have meant not getting “home” until 8:30 tonight. So I stole a roll of toilet paper from the office – it was the one must have that I couldn’t do without.
• Tomorrow my first meeting is at 7:30 a.m. and the last ends at 7 p.m. Which means I may as well plan on tomorrow night being just.like.tonight.

—- Someday, I’ll be able to write something worthwhile again. —-