I spent some quality alone time with Mr. Hot the past couple of days. We stared at each other. A lot.

At times, the staring was of the “What else is there to possibly say after nearly 18 years together?” variety. Other times, it had the sense of “I can’t believe we’re still so much in love.” And then, of course, there were the “Gawd, stop with the farting already!” looks.

We talked, too. Mr. Hot is coming to terms with the fact that 24 (his son, my stepson) and he have nothing in common. And, as much as I’ve complained about 24 here, he’s a good kid. A bit immature (okay, a bunch immature), but working hard at two jobs and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life. Grad school? Peace Corps? It’s yet to be determined, but one way or another, we’ll be there for him.

Now, I haven’t actually said it in so many words, but as many of you know, and others have probably surmised, 24 is gay.

We’ve suspected since the time he was a teenager. A young teenager. And when he came out to his father and me late last year, it was no surprise. Shortman wasn’t surprised. Of course, we love him no less. The fact that we laugh about the fact that he is such a DIVA has nothing to do with his sexual preference. We’d laugh about the organic and the products no matter what. Seriously. The expensive shampoo sitting in our shower and the 10 step skincare regime on the counter? Foreign to the Suave and Ivory soap crowd.

There is one thing though. Mr. Hot and I, even through our non-traditional courtship and engagement, never had to worry (once our respective divorces were final) that we COULD get married. There was no law that prevented it from happening.

24 won’t have that luxury. Not in the world we live in today. At least in the majority of our country. The country that was founded on the idea that “All men are created equal.” Remember the whole “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”? What could make someone more happy than finding the special person with whom they want to spend the rest of their life?

(Of course, right now, Mr. Hot is again pontificating on politics, and I may shove my laptop up his nose - but still. I love him. He’s just annoying.)

I would love for 24 to find his own Mr. Hot. Not only find him, but be able to stand in front of friends and family and declare, “For better or for worse. For richer, for poorer. With organic products or the cheap stuff. In sickness and in health.”

So, when I read this post by Magpie, it brought it all home to me. Home in a way that it never had before.

Thanks Magpie. For pointing out:

In many ways, marriage qua marriage is unfair to those who can’t be married, or don’t want those legal ties. Marriage provides a construct for many valuable spousal rights – including social security benefits, exemptions on estate taxes, access to health insurance policies, visiting privileges in jail, etc.

I’m handing over the July Perfect Post Award. Go read this post. Read it and think about it this November. Please?

(I only wish I could give her commenters the Perfect Post award too.)

—- Thanks to Kimberly at Petroville and Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil for providing the Perfect Post awards. Check out the other winners at their sites, and think about signing up next month to award your favorite post for August. —-

I don’t often talk about my political views here. In fact, I can only think of a couple of times that I let something slip. It’s not that I don’t have opinions and it’s not that I am afraid of alienating readers (I believe that each and every one of you hold ‘freedom of expression’ near and dear to your heart - or you would have run away screaming long ago) - it’s simply that I don’t always know how to voice my opinions. See, it’s the voice thing that trips me up.

THAT probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am a terrible debater. Seriously. I lose every single argument I have with anyone. Sometimes, I even lose the ones where the person I’m arguing with AGREES with me. How flippin’ sad is that? I can go over my points in my head. I can rehearse in the mirror. I can have facts and figures and data that I’ve pulled out of the most authoritative references that exist.

And then, I open my mouth - and blah, blah, blah, fuck, blah blah blah blah. (Seriously. I haven’t won an argument in 18 years with Mr. Hot.)

So when Mr. Lady wrote this brilliant post - I nearly purchased a plane ticket just so I could go hug her in person. And get her to teach me how the hell she managed to perfectly sum up my views on what the past eight years have done to this country. I’ve traveled to Asia and Europe in the time that W has been president. A British Airways flight attendant told me (two days after the 2004 election) that they were instructed “not to discuss the election with the Americans.” I had a restaurant maitre’d give me a hug in the aftermath of Katrina hitting New Orleans and Mississippi. He told me he was sorry for my countrymen, but that my government was full of idiots. I couldn’t disagree.

I am sad about what the Democratic party is doing - and the stupidity that is going on here in Michigan especially. I have a real fear of what’s going to happen if we end up with Bush 3 in office. Shortman can’t find a summer job. 24 can’t find a job, period. I’m going to be out of work in November - after nearly 30 years of being employed whenever.I.wanted.to.be. This is scary shit people.

And while I’m reduced to sitting here typing “scary shit” because I can’t give articulate voice to my feelings and my fears, Mr. Lady is over here… writing my selection for the Perfect Post for May.

Go read it. “I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am not an ex-pat. I am an AMERICAN. That is all.” Thank you, Mr. Lady, for speaking for those of us who don’t always have the words.

—- And thank you to Kimberly at Petroville and Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil for allowing anyone who wants (why aren’t you participating?) in the Perfect Post awarding. —-

Moms. How many women have moaned, “I’m becoming my mother.” How many have laughed about looking in the mirror and seeing “Mom staring back at me.” They mold us with their attitudes; their behaviors determine whether we’re comfortable with ourselves.

My mother and I have always had an interesting relationship. I’m her first born. I’m far more independent than she would probably like - certainly more independent than my brother and sister. I always felt that my brother was her favorite child; my sister gave birth to her favorite grandchild. But, I know, beyond a doubt, that I can always count on my mother. I’ll always be able to go home.

What happens, though, when your mother is “an abusive, crazy, lazy, paranoid hypochondriac”? When she’s not someone you can count on? When she stands by and watches as you go through depression at the tender age of eight. Eight, when your greatest fear should be whether or not your best friend Mandy will be able to spend the night on Friday so you can do each other’s hair and play The Dating Game.

You may find yourself in a position where you can either live in peace or live in darkness; live a full life or a half life; you can be a loving wife and mother, or you can become something that you hate.

And at that point, you must make a Leap of Faith.

My Perfect Post award for February goes to Mr. Lady at Whiskey In My Sippy Cup. She had to make her own Leap of Faith this month.

Because she leaped. Next, she’ll fly. I’m so proud of her.

“We must walk consciously only part way through our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.” - Henry David Thoreau

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Thanks to Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil and Kimberly at Petroville for creating the Perfect Post awards. This marks their 2nd anniversary - two years of helping us recognize the posts that make us laugh and cry. Congratulations Lindsay and Kimberly.—- Now go see the rest of the winners. —-

The Perfect Post is the brainchild of Kimberley and Lindsay - an opportunity for us to recognize our favorite post over the last month.

Sometimes I award thoughtfulness and beauty. Sometimes I miss awarding anyone at all. (Um, yes, last month. Let’s not talk about it, okay?) This month, however, I had to award my Aussie twin - Kelley.

Kelley, at MagnetoBold Too, is another coffee-addicted cuss-aholic shoe-lusting mom. She juggles 3 children, a husband, a part-time job, running an Autism Support Group, and writing on two blogs while being horribly sleep-deprived. (Or maybe because of it!)

I’m giving this post of Kelley’s the Perfect Post Award for January 2008. Because we’ve all been there, but she just makes it sound so funny. Blame the husband, blame the kids, blame the computer. Thanks for the laugh Kelley my lurve. Your prize is in the mail.

One of my favorite things to do is to lose myself in Meghan’s photography. Her little boy makes my heart squeeze, he’s so cute. If you don’t know about Pyreflies Over Zanarkind, you must go take a look. Grab some coffee and something sweet to go with it and page through her archives. Her photography speaks to me in so many ways. (And yes, she knows I stalk her!)

This post here is just beautiful. The third photo reminds me of the days when Shortman was Xan’s age - and they could be brothers from the back. I want to jump through the monitor and pick him up and swing him around doing airplanes. That was my baby’s favorite thing.

Because I’ve been remembering so much about those days with all my new bloggy friends who have little ones, and that picture summed everything up, I’m awarding Meghan with the Perfect Post November 2007 award. (And now she’s pregnant with #2, so we’ll have newborn pictures to look at next year!)

Meghan, check your email for your badge!

—- And, as always, thanks to Kimberly and Lindsay for creating the Monthly Perfect Posts. If you’d like the opportunity to award your favorite blogger with a nifty little badge for their ‘perfect post’, take a stroll over to Petroville.com and Suburban Turmoil. They’ll tell you all about it. —-

There are some posts that tear me up emotionally and my heart breaks for some of the things my favorite bloggers have been through. I truly wonder if I could go on had these things happened to me. (I mean, mah Gawd, I whined for days over a broken television.)

These writers inspire me to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend. I want to reach through this screen and take them in my arms and hug them, because I know, with all my heart, how much better I feel when Mr. Hot or Shortman give me a soul-enveloping, heal-everything, warm-away-the-fear hug.

When I read RedNeck Mommy’s post about her Bug - her darling son, I broke down. Coming so soon on the news that they had been approved by the adoption agency, I can’t imagine the swing of emotions that she had to have been feeling. And yet, she keeps her sense of humor - her wicked, wicked, sense of humor - believe me, y’all - you’ll want to go along for the ride. Hang on tight and bring your favorite tissues and incontinence panties.

Come help me cheer for RNM. She wrote my pick for October’s Perfect Post - and if you want to get in on the Perfect Post Awards, go see Kimberly and Lindsay - the originators of the Perfect Post award.

Darkness. Uck. It’s now officially “dark” when I get to the office in the morning. This whole daylight savings time change is messin’ with me. With the smoked windows in this office and the dark clouds overhead, and the general, um, shit attitudes morale issues around here…it actually feels more like the end of October than the first. I could really use some laughter and brightness this morning.

So, my perfect post nominee for today is…..Sassy!

We all have days when it seems that everyone we speak to is either a) smoking drugs, or b) shooting drugs or c) huffing drugs. Trying to get a simple transaction completed is akin to pouring tar over yourself and then rolling in feathers. (Actually, I think I read about a spa that offers that treatment - supposed to make your skin abso-freakin-lutely radiant!)

Sassy, over at Oh.My.Gawd.Really knows exactly how to take a situation that would have made me kick some cashier ass blow a gasket grab my Superbucks and walk away into the perfect post for September. On a day when I was beating my head against a wall, she posted this little gem and had me laughing my ass off. I think I have her cashier’s relative working for me!

So, Sassy, you are my nomination for September’s Perfect Post. Many thanks to Kimberly at Petroville and Lindsey at Suburban Turmoil for the opportunity to award the button to Sassy.

—-Now, y’all go look at the other Perfect Posts. I’m sure there’s plenty for a giggle or two and possibly a tear or two. It’s perfect for what ails ya.—-