Part 1 -

Part 2 -

—- It’s worth your time. —-

There are days where I finish my workday, slam down the phone, log off my computer and know, absolutely, that I am not going to sleep that night. Something will have happened during a meeting, or in an email, that sends me into a tailspin of anger or helplessness; something that is so wrong or unfair or just plain fucked up; I know that it will eat at my brain all night.

Yesterday, I sat in on someone else’s staff meeting. Someone I’ve written about before. I don’t want to bore you with all of the sordid details, but after the first 10 minutes of listening to her voice, I was seriously pissed. After 45 minutes, I was trying to figure out if there was some way I could voodoo doll her from afar. (witchypoo? I can sew a emaciated blond if you can tell me what to do once I get it made!)

After 60 minutes, when she essentially insulted the State of Michigan (it’s okay if I insult my home state but I’ll be damned if someone else is going to) - I briefly considered putting up a billboard on the Dan Ryan explaining my theories on… well, never mind. Imagine it, if you will.

So, by the time I actually finished my workday, I was, um, more than slightly agitated. And that’s an understatement.

I stormed into the bathroom, brushed my teeth…moved to my bedroom and threw on some jeans…put on my cute shoes and that green headscarf…kissed Mr. Hot goodbye, and headed out to meet with these two:

Nancy @ MarieMillard and MommyTime from MommysMartini.

We had a wonderful time. The waiter, I’m sure, was a bit peeved surprised that we sat down at 7 and didn’t get up until nearly 10:30 (especially when the walk-ups had a 45 to 60-minute wait for a table…Ooops!). There was not a moment of silence during that 3 and a-half hour period unless we all happened to gulp sip our martinis at the same time or shovel daintily spoon our meals into our mouths.

After I threatened to follow MommyTime to her house followed MommyTime back to the right road and we waved “farewell for now!” from our cars, I got to thinking about girlfriends. Real honest-to-gawd girlfriends, not just “women in your life”.

Have I mentioned that my closest friends - with very, very few exceptions - have always been of the XY chromosome type? My house is full of them. I work almost exclusively with men. Testosterone clouds hang over my head.

My “oldest” friend - with whom I’m still in contact and have been for 26 years - is female, but she lives on the other side of the country. My unfortunate experience with girlfriends in my younger days was that we lost contact for stupid reasons - jealousy in some form or imagined slights. As an adult - a married adult with children - there simply haven’t been many women in my life.

Shortman’s friends’ mothers? Most of them had lived in the area for their entire life - they had circles of friends built when they were in school, or newly married…nice women, but not “pour your heart out to” girlfriends.

My cousins? Never that close. Too much history?

Women I worked with? Ha! Starting out in my career, there were no women. Now, the women I work with tend to be more like the one I described in the beginning of this post - out for themselves and only themselves.

But the peace I felt last night driving home - the grin on my face when I walked in the door (the one that made Mr. Hot say, “You need to do this more often.”) - the fact that I slept like a baby when I had expected that I would toss and turn until dawn - made me realize that I need girlfriends.

I need to laugh for hours. I need to be with breasts and hair and true confessions. I need to hug unselfconscious-ly and kiss cheeks. I need to share food and admire accomplishments where there isn’t any competition.

I need to feel the joy that I’ve had all day today. And I will - because I now know what I need.

—- Just think, if I hadn’t sat down one day and written this, it could have taken me years to realize what I was missing; what it was that caused this empty kind of space in my heart. Blogging made me understand something very important about myself. What self discoveries have you made lately? —-

He asked me to “blog on my senior citizen blog” about this.

AFTER I slapped the shit out of him (kidding…not really. Yea, I am. Kinda.  I gave him the glare of death, though) - I said I would.

There was a music video I remember from a long time ago, when I was a little kid. It was 5 guys and they were in a courtoom. I thought it was The New Edition. Do you know who it was? I want to know that song.

Are you sure it wasn’t the Jackson 5?

He agreed it might be. And then came his line. About, y’know, the “senior citizens’ blog.”

So, if you’re not entirely too insulted, and you remember a video with five African American guys, in a courtoom setting, (but it wasn’t a rap song, it was definitely a POP song, y’know, from when he was “little”), couldya let me know?  I thought it was ABC-123, but I can’t find the actual MTV video of it.

—- Maybe the boy will have a little more respect for his elderly mom. Excuse me while I go find my cane. —-

A haiku of lust -
The link list up there on top?
Oh mah holy hell.

An alphabetized
list of those I know and love.
Twenty-two letters!

“Q”, “U, “X” and “Z”
Not popular for blog names?
No! Wait! Don’t tell me!

Unless it is you -
then I’m happy to edit
Typing is my life.

Ha! Was that last line totally sarcastic?

Please check!

• If I have your link wrong -
• If I have your blog name wrong or misspelled -
• If you don’t want to be associated with me -
• If you’re my biggest fan ever but have never de-lurked or told me your URL -

Tell me and I will fix it.

If your first comment was in the month of June though?!?, you have to WAIT until next week when I do the post highlighting new commenters. THEN I will add you. I promise. (If you want to be included.)

Now, do me a little favor please. Take the poll. I’m just curious, because when I first started blogging, I used my favorite blogger’s link lists to find new blogs. Now, though, I read through a reader, and therefore, forget to update my list as often as I should. I’m curious as to YOUR thoughts on blogrolls. (Other than the fact that they’re delicious when covered in chocolate and sprinkles!)

[poll=5]

—- Welcome first day of Summer! It’s spectacular here today. Of course, I’ve been sitting in my tiny little office since 8 a.m., but the window’s open and the birds are singing. —-

My friend Nancy, over at Marie Millard asked a great “make you think” question today.

If you had one day, 24 hours to do anything you wanted, use your imagination, anything … by yourself, for yourself, only you and you alone.
Nobody would ever know what you did.
Nobody would ever see how you spent those 24 hours.
This is time just for you, alone.
What would you do that would make you smile and go “ah-hhhhh” just before your head hit the pillow in the last minute of those 24 hours?

I can only dream about having this kind of day - and I would also assume that money was no object. But! If I could…

I would wake up around 8 am. It’s the perfect time of the morning for me - it feels like luxuriously sleeping in without wasting precious time. I would go out onto the beach (I’m someplace with white sand, the ocean and sunshine) and sit with my coffee and chocolate muffin (calories absolutely don’t count in a fantasy) and read - but just for a couple of hours. Then I’d walk - I’d walk through the sand, feeling it warm between my toes, out to the marketplace. I’d browse through the fruit stalls, picking the perfect specimens of whatever I felt like eating that day. I’d stop and get a beautiful piece of fish for my lunch.

Another part of this fantasy - (I mean, let’s get serious, it would have to be a fantasy) - is that I would know how to prepare this food. The fish would be flaky and tender and perfectly seasoned. A chilled, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio and a small but potent piece of the darkest dark chocolate for dessert would lead to a small siesta - in the chaise overlooking the water.

Then I’d saddle my horse and ride. Freedom on horseback. Time to daydream and meditate. Time to enjoy the silence of being alone. I’d pack a light dinner - cheese and fruit, and a bottle of champagne - find someplace to watch the sunset and eat - and then ride back, under the stars. Back to my bed, with the 2000-count sheets and the fluffy duvet…

and ahhhhhh.

A lot of my own personal fantasies are centered around being alone. Totally and completely alone for more than 30 minutes here and there. (Considering that right now, I hear “Mississippi Queen” on Guitar Hero going; a basketball bouncing outside my window, the boy cat meowing in his Siamese voice, and voices coming out of Shortman’s headphones on the other desk, I’m sure that “alone” as a fantasy just surprises the hell out of you, doesn’t it? Snort.)

So, go check out Nancy and see who else decided to let you in on their secret day alone.

It’s also getting towards the end of the month, so I’m going to thank my new commenters for the month of May.

• Sarah at Ok Where Was I - Great pictures from life in the country. And funny, too! I met her at the Bossy Meet-up in Chicago.
• Cathy at Mine - Check out the video on May 22nd. Dare you not to kiss your monitor trying to get that cutie. Another Chicago Bossy buddy.
• Cathy at Noble Pig- She’s not only a wonderful photographer and cook, she’ll tell you what wine to order and fascinate you with her life.
• Confessions of a Serendipitous Girl - Grey Goose Lemondrops with a splash of Hilarious. My kinda girl.
• Claire at Claire and Me - Check out the Craig’s List post of free items. Snort.
• Krissa at Halfasstic - Two teenage daughters and a mother-in-law in the house? Estrogen central.
• Ooh Dear Me - My favorite of her 100 Things? “I make my own words like the President.”
• Carolyn at Laughing Alone in the Dark - She displays a badge for Extreme Wordiness. Don’t believe it - she’s a wonderful writer.
• Tutu Girl at Headstands in Tutus - A recent college grad (yay!) who calls “Whole Foods” “Whole Paycheck”!
• Barbara Ling - A fun site to explore, especially her “Insane Indulgences”
• Carrie at Candid Carrie - Six kids and a revolving cat door? This woman has a big heart.
• Shauna at Blah Blah Blog - Web designs, swimsuit love, and y’all! She invited us ALL to her house. Who’s driving?
• Melinda Zook - Contests, Giveaways, and Life.
• Dogs Don’t Purr - Cats, Cars and Cocktails! Two of those are on my favorite things list, too.
• Beth at Around the Funny Farm! - A cute barrel racer with a great sense of humor.
• Hallie at Wonderful World of Weiners - Since Miss Doxie isn’t around, get your weiner dog fix here!
• DeeMarie at My Life in a Nutshell - Her tag line? “30-something single girl with no life. And feel like I need to share it with you.” The no life part? not true.
• Ethereal and Ubiquitous - Her long distance love affair will suck you in…

—- Go visit these blogs while I sit back, close my eyes, and dream about maybe, someday, being able to live my fantasy. —-